Earlier this week I found myself in a place familiar to all of us. I wouldn’t call it buyer’s remorse, not even decision regret. Probably more like, something’s not right, so a step back seems like a good idea.
When we find ourselves in these places, one of the best things we can do is stop talking only to ourselves and divulge our thoughts to someone else. Even if they don’t do anything but listen, we often get some perspective or different focus that uncovers a better viewpoint.
Within 24 hours of doing that, I came to a realization. What was really at play was there wasn’t an issue at all, other than I was looking for a way out. Rather than admit my own sabotaging, I was making a few small things one large thing. And then this thought smacked me in the head…
It’s not hard to find the door in the room.
So many times I’ve tried to leave the room before it was time. If you have that pattern, then you know what it’s like to be looking for the door but not know that you are. And when you’re looking for it, it’s pretty easy to find.
There are quite a few questions we can ask ourselves once we have this awareness. Truth be told, sometimes the right answer is to leave the room. More times than not our timing is off, and there are reasons to stay that we would rather not bother with or tell ourselves we don’t have the energy for. Here are three questions I asked myself this week once I realized I was asking, “Where’s the door?”
Why am I looking for the door? If this isn’t the most important question, it’s got to be pretty close. An honest answer will clarify if the search should continue. My honest answer told me to stop looking.
Who’s in the room? That might seem like an odd question, but it’s founded in the idea of grounding. When we notice the faces of everyone in the room, we are forced to pause and consider what leaving the room means to everyone, not just ourselves. Again, sometimes the person that needs the most consideration in the room is us, but leaving everyone else out of our consideration reveals an issue that most likely has little to do with being in the room with these people.
Why am I here? This question is a perfect follow up to who’s in the room. As we consider everyone in the room, a natural viewpoint to bring clarity is founded in purpose. Several times I knew I was supposed to leave a room even though others in the room disagreed. They believed my purpose wasn’t done, but I knew otherwise. TRUTH: It’s only time to leave when your purpose is done. If your purpose isn’t done, stop looking for the door.
Photo by Dima Pechurin on Unsplash