2 Temptations that Keep Us from the Dive of Love

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

I’m listening to Richard Rohr’s The Tears of Things.

In chapter five he discusses the writings of Jeremiah. One aspect Rohr pulls out is Jeremiah’s challenge to not be attached to the exterior works of religion and to choose the inner transformation found in a relationship with the one being worshipped. Be more in love with God instead of the rituals that supposedly bring you closer to him.

This particular statement stung me:

Church loyalty is commonly substituted for the love of God. Loyalty is actually a form of codependency giving a warped sense of control and safety while love is a dive into perfect freedom.

Loyalty – I have wrestled with this value most of my life. I’ve come to the realization that the temptation to be loyal to what or who I can see is a great tool of the enemy. So yes, it’s easy to understand how one could substitute it for the real thing.

Codependency – This is a good possibility of why we choose that substitution. This temptation to be in control and to pursue safety is the oldest tool of spiritual warfare. It’s not a reason to run from the church; it’s a worthy awareness to maintain church health.

Love of God – I’ve been challenged several times over the last five years by those speaking into my life that my dive into perfect freedom needs more attention. That’s why this quote resonated. That is how I avoid yielding to these two temptations.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

25 Books in 2025 Library

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

For an eighth year I have followed a self-developed reading strategy with the objective to read broader. The goal: read books falling under diverse headings. This strategy is still working for me, probably the richest year yet.

For the curious, here is the library of 25 books including avenue of reading:

  • Attached to God by Krispin Mayfield (hoopla)…2nd read
  • Becoming Rooted by Randy Woodley (hoopla)
  • Beyond the Third Door by Maria Heckinger (hoopla)
  • Bone Songs by Andre Gregory (hoopla)
  • Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening by Cynthia Bourgeault (hoopla)
  • The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris (hoopla audio)
  • Courage Doesn’t Always Roar by Mary Anne Radmacher (hoopla)
  • Deliver Me by Dawn Van Beck (hard copy)…most recommended Christian life book on the list-several “I needed this book” responses
  • Dream Weaver by Jenny Jing Zhu (hard copy)
  • From Beneath the Ice by Todd Arkyn Crush (audible)…most compelling book on the list-leading to a new friendship
  • Fully Alive by Timothy Shriver (audible)…favorite read of the year
  • The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan (audible)…most practical book on the list–bought hard copies for coworkers
  • Hello Darkness, My Old Friend by Sanford Greenberg (hard copy)…most engaging book on the list
  • In the Shelter by Padraig O Tuama (hoopla audio)
  • Ladder to the Light by Steven Charleston (hoopla audio)
  • The Lord Is My Courage by K. J. Ramsey (hoopla)
  • A Loving Life by Paul E. Miller (hoopla)
  • Resurrecting Jesus by Adyashanti (hoopla audio)
  • Seeing with the Eyes of the Heart by Adyashanti and Cynthia Bourgeault (hoopla audio)
  • Separation of Church and Hate by John Fugelsang (audible)
  • A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller (hoopla)
  • Single at Heart by Bella Depaulo (hoopla)…most thought-provoking book on the list
  • The Third Door by Alex Banayan (audible)
  • Unlimited by Jason Dunn (hoopla)
  • The Wisdom of Stability by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove (hoopla)…the best big idea book on the list–a fresh take on the definition of and need for stability

NOTE: If you’re not familiar with hoopla, check it out: https://www.hoopladigital.com/

Hard, Shadowy Love

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

(A final word from Paul E. Miller’s book A Loving Life)

Part three, “Learning To Think in Love,” contains the most challenging yet helpful direction, particularly chapter 19. In describing discovering God on the journey of love, Miller digs into two main thoughts: the shadowy presence of God in our lives and the need to embrace the hard things in life to live out love.

God’s presence in the book of Ruth mirrors his presence in our lives. It is subtle. He doesn’t leap out like he did with Moses and the plagues in Egypt. If God regularly showed himself like he did at the Red Sea or the resurrection, there would be no room for relationship…By staying in the shadows, at the edge of the story, God creates the need for faith and thus intimacy. The hiddenness of God builds our faith muscles.

A practical illustration of how we live this out is in conversations. Living in the shadows looks like staying small, deliberately on the edge so others can emerge and come alive facilitated by our humility.

Not easy. Particularly in conflict or when things aren’t going as planned or expected. Ruth and Naomi’s journey was filled with hard.

Ruth discovers God and his blessing as she obeys, as she submits to the life circumstances that God has given her. So instead of running from the really hard thing in your life, embrace it as a gift from God to draw you into his life.

May we discover God on our 2026 journey of love.

Photo by Semyon Borisov on Unsplash

Love & Resurrection

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Part two of Miller’s book A Loving Life is entitled “The Shape of the Journey.” A repeated theme is resurrection. When considered through a lens of love, there are some meaningful thoughts to digest.

Every time I endure in love, I go through a mini-death and mini-resurrection. -Chapter 11, “Love Protects”

…in the middle of a death, we should keep an eye out for resurrection. -Chapter 15, “Love Invites Resurrection”

Since watching The Shack last year, one line often comes to my mind when I’m having to endure in love. Mack’s wife said to him at the end of a disagreement, “Don’t forget we love each other.”

Loss of or shifts in relationship challenge our love. There is wisdom in recognizing the mini-death. There is hope in keeping an eye out for mini-resurrection.

A final thought: we can hope for resurrection, but we can’t demand it. In chapter nine, “The Gospel Shape of Love,” Miller shares Paul’s description of the shape of Jesus’ love journey from Philippians 2. It’s a reminder of our model to follow in love and resurrection.

He emptied himself. He took the form of a servant. He was born in the likeness of men. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death. We can do death. But we can’t do resurrection. We can’t demand resurrection-we wait for it.

Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

Balancing Lament

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

I believe in the value and need of lamenting. If you’re familiar with the Old Testament book of Ruth, you know the characters had quite a bit to lament over. So it was no surprise as I read Paul E. Miller’s book A Loving Life based on Ruth that he devoted much of the first part teaching about lament.

Chapter three, “The Lost Art of Lament,” is entirely focused on it.

In the West, we’ve lost the practice of lamenting. In contrast, the ancient Hebrews were constantly in God’s face. About one third of the Psalms are laments where the psalmists pour out their hearts to God.

Later in chapter six, Miller gives a comparison between what happens when we don’t lament or when we actually over-lament. Attention grabbing.

…to not lament puts God at arm’s length and has the potential of splitting us. We appear okay, but we are really brokenhearted.

The opposite danger of not lamenting is over-lamenting. Dwelling on a lament is the breeding ground for bitterness. Bitterness is a wound nursed. Our culture’s emphasis on the sacredness of feelings often gives people an unspoken theology of bitterness. They feel entitled to it. -Chapter 6, “Entering a Broken Heart”

I am guilty of this opposite danger. Nursing a wound in such a way as to keep it rather than heal it has planted bitter seeds.

Having done or observed both of these treatments of lament has taught me valuable lessons. The truth of Ecclesiastes 3 bears witness here. “There is a time for everything.” May we all allow and balance lament’s time.

Painting the Messiah’s Entrance

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Christmas 2024 led me to encounter an Advent Christian worship event for the first time. I found it meaningful enough to find others to attend this month. Between the two seasons, I actually went to four of them. They are called Blue Christmas services.

A Blue Christmas service, also called a Longest Night Service, is a Christian worship event during Advent (around Dec 21st) offering comfort and hope for those struggling with grief, loss, loneliness, or pain during the holidays, acknowledging sorrow alongside traditional Christmas joy through prayer, scripture, reflection, music, and candle lighting to find light in darkness. (AI overview)

Each of the four services were unique, largely due to denominational (Lutheran, Methodist, Metropolitan Community, and nondenominational) practices. All left me feeling like the clergy took the service to heart and were not going through motions. As one feels when they allow their grief to be seen and acknowledged, I left each service lighter.

The Lutheran service I attended this December 21st actually left me with joy. Besides the pastor, I was most likely the youngest person of the roughly 30 attendees. These senior saints embraced their faith with such passion that any grief in the room was lifted and hope was offered as a replacement. One particular singer, George, made me smile. I’m guessing he was in his 80s. I will remember his singing for a long time.

The prior Wednesday I attended the service at Church of the Trinity. The intention and detail of that service caught me by surprise. Close to half of the service was interactive. Not in a pushy or uncomfortable expectation, but in a welcoming and inviting sense of togetherness. The team of four ministers served their people in these ways:

  • Holding them
  • Providing space for personal choices
  • Leading by example
  • Leading by going first
  • Walking alongside
  • Not rushing
  • Being with
  • Inviting all to participate

One quote was shared in the opening remarks that said something like this:

Grief is the transitioning from pain and loss to hope and light.

As we all left, it seemed heavy hearts had been emptied, grim faces were now smiling, and tears were turned to singing.

I’m thankful to have found these traditions. Makes me wonder if they don’t paint an equally vivid reminder of the Messiah’s entrance into our world.

The Other Side of Waiting

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Alone in the flames

Looking only at the blaze

I wished to just burn

You stayed, shielded, healed, heard, forgave, whispered

“You will rise from the ashes

Smile again

Stand without shame

Sing again

Look back in wonder

Run again

Raise your head toward heaven

Praise again

Remember who you are

Believe again

Forgive your oppressors

Trust again

Gaze with compassion

Love again

Speak words of peace

Bless again

Serve your neighbor

Breathe again”

This is resurrection

This is abiding

This is the other side of waiting

Photo by Elisabeth Arnold on Unsplash

Fully Alive (book review)

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

I was intrigued enough by The Dignity Index (link to prior post) that I found Timothy Shriver’s book, Fully Alive, on audible. I had no idea what I was in for.

There are so many takeaways. Certainly makes me wish I had a hard copy.

But I’ll narrow down my takeaways under three headings:

  1. Fully Alive is a ten+hour history lesson. The lesson includes the Kennedy family history, highlighting the impact of Rosemary’s challenges. The lesson tells the story behind the founding and development of the Special Olympics. Many other lessons are found; but the one most prevalent is the dignity of all humans and the history of all cultures determining if and how they would recognize every person’s worth.
  2. Fully Alive is a look at the whole of a man. Shriver’s transparency about his maturation, his privilege, his spirituality, and his determination are refreshing. His words inspired me to continue efforts to grow in relationships and purpose. They accomplished the promise to paint a picture of what matters most.
  3. Fully Alive is a spotlight on the human spirit. You are introduced to many examples of this spirit. I’m drawn to three of the Special Olympic athletes: Loretta, Donald, and Daniel. Their spirits are depicted as full of grit, presence, and courage. They overcame many barriers resulting in fearless victory in the face of rejection, misdiagnosis, and death. Their stories, their lives depict what Shriver wants us to pursue, living fully.

Listening to this book during this last month was cathartic. I needed it, but was not aware it would come from listening to this book. If your spirit is in need of revival, you might find it in this book. It’s worth a try.

Black & White & Gray & Neither

/ johngregoryjr / 3 Comments

My natural mindset nurtured by my upbringing has led me to a lot of work regarding moving away from black and white thinking. Always a work in progress.

My more natural gray-thinking friends and colleagues have been tremendous partners in my growth. But recently, I’ve determined there is another realization to my growth that I’ve never considered.

Here it is: Regardless of whether one thinks naturally black & white or gray, a lack of openness toward the inner work required for growth potentially creates ruptures.

Here’s how Dr. Dena Dinardo explains it:

Explore the value of gray thinking

The final step to managing binary thinking is opening up to the shades in between – the nuance, the uncertainty, the possibility. This is where real growth happens. 

Challenging black and white thoughts and exploring gray thinking (the in-between) allows us to see situations from new angles, which doesn’t just change how we think, but also how we feel and respond. In relationships, this opens the door to deeper understanding, repair, and connection.

This kind of inner work can be difficult to do alone. If you find yourself struggling, consider working with a therapist who can help you develop more flexible and compassionate ways of thinking and relating.

I’m tempted to walk away from relationships lacking mutual desire for growth, willingness to do the work. These are the Neithers. The pain and suffering surrounding Neithers slowly, both physically and/or emotionally, pushes away those working to grow.

May we all embrace our inner work in order to embrace one another…to open the door to deeper…to possibilities otherwise left unknown.

Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash

Have Mercy

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

In the same podcast episode mentioned in “How Long,” the speaker’s second focus on praying the Psalms was confession.

He mentioned the few occasions that the Psalmist penned the phrase, “Have Mercy, O God.” The most familiar of these is Psalm 51 by David.

This song is my effort to capture these eight verses:

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.