Month: March 2024

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Organizations Must Ask (Post #3)

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

It’s going to happen.

Misunderstanding. A bad hire. Fear. Doubt. Disagreement. Separation. Change.

When it does, someone has to hold up their hand and say, “Hold Up!”

Reminds me of the Progressive Insurance commercials where a red flag gets thrown. Hilarious.

An organization that is unified on their values and builds community between one another has at least one other question to answer to ensure their public persona matches their behind-the-curtain private one: How’s the culture on both sides of the curtain?

The flipside of making sure all is well behind the curtain is that you still have to pay attention to what’s going on on the other side. In last week’s episode of “At The Table,” the troubles at Hertz and United Airlines were discussed; it’s evident the Execs aren’t bothering with gauging the culture between the front lines and their customers. And it’s been that way for years.

How is that possible? Is it because no one behind the curtain cares? No one’s assigned to be the “Keeper of the Curtain”? Is there dedicated time behind the curtain to talk about the culture on the other side?

Leaders, to engage this question further, here are four more questions for your team to discuss:

  • What’s our process to gauge the culture on both sides of the curtain?
  • Who’s responsible for gathering cultural data and conveying it behind the curtain?
  • What kind of culture do our values promise?
  • What are we willing to do when unhealthy culture is present?

May your culture on both sides of the curtain matter and thrive.

Photo by David Werbrouck on Unsplash

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Organizations Must Ask (Post #2)

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

I grew up a PK. For those outside of church world, PK stands for preacher’s kid.

In addition to growing up in a preacher’s home, I also spent over 20 years serving on church staffs. There are many interesting dynamics to being on a church staff, but I believe one of the keys to organizational health behind the curtain has to be relationships.

In my dad’s day, the prevailing thought was pastors didn’t make friends in their churches. I hear that thought, but I never accepted it for myself. More and more, this seems to be the choice. Reality is, either way you live, it’s going to come with some challenges. But that’s true about all relationships, right?

Building on the first question about values to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one, it seems you must answer this question about your team: How are you building community in your organization?

Community is all about relationships. A healthy community invests in one another, cares for one another, listens to one another, trusts one another, celebrates one another, challenges one another, and commits to one another. If any of these actions are what you claim to do for your customers, it has to be going on in your team also. Community requires intention. It has to be pursued.

Leaders, to engage this question further, here are four more questions for your team to discuss:

  • In our hiring process, how much attention is given to community health?
  • What have we done in the last six months to build community?
  • How well does our team pursue community by growing in understanding one another?
  • Who’s really in charge of the community behind the curtain?

May your community behind the curtain shine in front of it.

Photo by Windows on Unsplash

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Organizations Must Ask (Post #1)

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Mark wasn’t wrong. In January I observed an exchange between two organizations that led me down a rabbit hole in my brain. It ended with me posing this question: What questions must be answered to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one? Mark agreed to tackle this from a leadership angle (see posts March 10-12); my task is to address the organization angle.

Before throwing out the first question, I need to throw credit to one of my favorite leadership podcasts. The Table Group’s podcast entitled At The Table is worth your following. Patrick Lencioni’s team asks and answers leadership questions every week that challenge leaders and their organizations. Subscribe to it now!

Wednesday as I waited in the lobby of a local nonprofit waiting for a meeting, I noticed a framed image of their values. It caught my eye mostly because of the Hebrew words. I was curious. If you’re curious, here’s the list of ten:

I’ve gotten to know one of their VP’s over the last eight months. He’s relatively new in town and therefore new to his team. We haven’t gotten to know each other well enough for me to inquire, but I wonder how his interview process went compared to his reality of being on the job. You know what I mean, right? It seems more often than not the hiring process doesn’t really pull back the entire curtain.

Which leads me to question #1: Are we all for the same things, really?

Doing the work to solidify the organization’s values is important. Equally important is protecting them. Through the hiring process, alignment on values needs to be top of mind. Periodically, probably routinely, values need to be restated in leadership meetings. It wouldn’t hurt to find creative ways to check if all team members can state them.

This matters for one huge reason. If you say in front of the curtain that you stand for something but rarely discuss it behind the curtain, eventually those on the other side will find out. Your words must be more than lip service.

Leaders, to engage this question further, here are four more questions for your team to discuss:

  • When’s the last time we checked our values as a team?
  • How are we evaluating our values?
  • How well are we listening to people on both sides of the curtain in evaluating our values?
  • What uncomfortable conversations do we need to have about our values?

May your words behind the curtain match your words in front of it.

Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash

“It’s Why I Keep Coming Back”

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Had a little “aha” moment this afternoon during a conversation.

I was answering this question: “Between all the areas of your life we’ve been discussing, where is your soul being nourished?”

Part of my answer was to say the very space I was in. And then I followed it with, “That’s why I keep coming back.”

Seemed significant. The question and the answer.

The question because I was being asked to identify/name where my soul nourishment is coming from right now. Not in the past. Right now. You might want to sit in that question right now also.

The answer was significant for more than the obvious identified by my coming back. But I also admitted my soul’s nourishment was not coming from any of the suggested places. And that was okay. It was more than okay.

It made me carry the thought further.

  • Where do I keep coming back?
  • Is it soul nourishing?
  • If so, how would I like to attend to that in my routine?
  • If not, how can I eliminate it from my routine?

I encourage you sit with the question and your answer. You might be surprised where you keep coming back.

Photo by Margit Bantowsky on Unsplash

5.3 Miles in West Bradenton

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Today started angsty.

  1. Big Annual Fundraiser
  2. An Unexpected Trip to the Office First
  3. Rain
  4. Traffic
  5. Rain
  6. Unfinished Business from Yesterday
  7. Rain

Angst gone within fifteen minutes of the drive after three vivid images.

Image #1: Human in Crosswalk

One mile into my drive is the intersection of 59th and Cortez. I was the first in line at the light. While I waited for green, a slow moving person made their way across the intersection, west to east. Hoodie pulled over their head, slumped over and pushing a walker, they carried plastic bags of items I assumed just purchased at the corner convenience store. What felt like slow motion was real time. I could almost hear God whisper, “What do you think about their angst?”

Image #2: Emergency Vehicles blocking Traffic

Twenty-two blocks east on Cortez at 37th, traffic slowed due to an accident. The sun having not risen yet, all I could see was flashing lights on large emergency vehicles. Detouring through the McDonald’s and Goodwill parking lot, I wondered if the accident might involve a car and a pedestrian. That intersection is a gathering spot for the homeless early in the morning. I could almost hear God whisper, “Imagine the angst of everyone at that scene.”

Image #3: Two Elementary-Aged Boys Walking to School

Having driven through three school zones and noticing the yellow raingear of all the crossing guards, I turned left on Bayshore Gardens Parkway by Bayshore Elementary. An image that I hope sticks with me a long time walked towards me on the sidewalk. When’s the last time you saw two 10-year-old boys walking in the rain under an umbrella? In addition to that rare image, they weren’t running trying to get out of the rain. Casually strolling like two old friends, they laughed as if they’d just made a joke about their wives, maybe even their grandchildren. I could almost hear God whisper, “Remember what I said about children?”

Today finished joyously.

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Leaders Must Ask (Post #3)

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

(Written by Mark Stanifer, SightShift Certified Coach and founder of Dare2LiveCoaching.com)

You’ll recall from Parts 1-2 of this series that the question being explored is this: “What questions must be answered to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one?” There is one more question a leader must wrestle with in order to ensure alignment between public and private personas.

Let’s return to the account of Jesus in the wilderness and explore the final test.

Avoid or Sacrifice

In the third test Jesus faced, the tempter changed tactics a bit. In the previous two, Jesus’ answer came from the truth found in the sacred scrolls. For this third test, the enemy began with words Jesus would have been familiar with from Psalm 91. Again, we must understand that while Jesus was the Christ, he was also a human. A human that was destined for a difficult ministry path and a brutal death. A daunting mission if there ever was one.

One can debate how much Jesus knew of the path that lay ahead of him. What is clear is that he understood his mission and the sacrifice it would require. As a leader, you are not asked to make the same sacrifice that Jesus was. Still, pursuing your becoming and your mission will require sacrifice. The temptation in this third test is for a shortcut, a way around the difficulty and an easier path to success.

The third question to ask is this: Where am I trying to avoid the sacrifice and take a shortcut?

Have you ever had this thought, “If this is what God really wanted, why isn’t it easier?” Or maybe for you it sounds like, “If I can just speed things up the impact will be greater.”

The way the story was written in Luke 4 gives no indication to the time between question and answer. It also does not describe what thoughts Jesus may have had prior to this about the sacrifice that lay ahead. It does not take speculation, though, to conclude that this test was a targeted attack on what the enemy perceived as a point of vulnerability. Why else would he go there?

It’s a point of vulnerability for leaders as well. The easier road, the safer path, the shortcut around the struggle, what leader isn’t tempted to consider that? Still, personal experience and the stories of others confirm for that process really is the “shortcut.” Meaning, attempts to find a way around the challenge or the sacrifice don’t lead to better results faster. Only lesser results more quickly and missed opportunities to pass the test and be refined in the process. Jesus showed the way, and the way is through it.

Pubic and Private Persona

What did Driscoll, Hybels, and Zacharias have in common? Among other things, they failed to stay consistent in asking these three questions to help pass the tests they faced as leaders:

1. Where am I trying to take for me rather than give for others?

2. Where am I compromising, rather than committed to, my values?

3. Where am I trying to avoid the sacrifice and take a shortcut?

Jesus’ example wasn’t just a divinely perfect man disconnected from his humanity. For him to be what the Father intended, he needed to know the full human experience. In so doing, he showed the way, including the way to ensure that the behind the curtain leader is the same as the one in front of it. The strength and resolve that Jesus displayed came from a grounded understanding of his identity and a clear vision of his mission. That same strength and resolve is available to all leaders by following the same process. Receiving from the Father a grounded sense of identity and allowing that to compel one consistently forward in the mission He has for us.

It seems fitting here to allow James the last word: “Consider it great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the [refining] of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4 (emphasis added)

Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Leaders Must Ask (Post #2)

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

(Written by Mark Stanifer, SightShift Certified Coach and founder of Dare2LiveCoaching.com)

You’ll recall from Part 1 of this series that the question being explored is this: “What questions must be answered to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one?” The first question that must be asked is, “Where am I trying to take for me rather than give for others?” There are two more questions a leader must wrestle with in order to ensure alignment between public and private personas.

Let’s return to the account of Jesus in the wilderness and explore the second test.

~~~~

Compromise or Commit

The second test Jesus faced went straight to his values. The tempter was inviting him to compromise. Testing if he would stay committed. Yet Jesus, as our leader example, modeled what his ultimate value was in the way he responded to this second test.

None of us will face stakes as high as what Jesus faced in this test. The tempter was offering him the kingdom of earth. Now, we know the enemy’s pattern from the early pages of the Bible. It is to cast doubt on the authority and trustworthiness of God, to undermine Him and his creation. We should not presume that Jesus wasn’t affected by his offer. The enemy knows how to exploit our humanness.

The second question a leader can ask is this: Where am I compromising, rather than committed to, my values?

It may be helpful here for you to think of values in this way: centered on God and committed to becoming who He made you to be.

The offer Jesus was given was the antithesis to those values: substitute something other than God as the center and deviate from the path of becoming the best and fullest expression of himself. Understanding his test in this light makes it directly relatable to the tests (the refining) that leaders face. How are you answering that question, in the things that seem insignificant and in the things where the significance is great?

You may read that last statement and feel the pressure to double down striving to be good in all things. The intent here is not to heap perfectionistic pressure on you and make the striving any heavier to bear. Relax and let Father’s refining do its good work. Or you may discount the insignificant and focus only on the big things. Recognize, however, that big things always start off as little ones. For you, the growth opportunity is to notice the smaller testing moments and stay committed vs compromising. In both cases, God’s process is refining you to be “mature and complete, lacking nothing.” (James 1:4)

Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash

(Post #3 tomorrow)

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Leaders Must Ask (Post #1)

/ johngregoryjr / 1 Comment

(Written by Mark Stanifer, SightShift Certified Coach and founder of Dare2LiveCoaching.com)

“What questions must be answered to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one?”

John posed that question to me recently. While he didn’t elaborate on where it came from, knowing John there was an experience that led to him asking himself that question first. And then he followed his curiosity, wondering how others would answer it. In this article, I approach the question from a leadership lens. But, in truth, what follows applies to anyone who wants to fully be who they were created to be.

In thinking about that question, I couldn’t help but consider some very public and horrendous examples of where leaders displayed public personas that were very different than the one behind the curtain. Mark Driscoll, Bill Hybels and Ravi Zacharias come to mind immediately. Despite any positive impact these leaders had, it is now obvious that what was behind the curtain did not match the image on public display.

These are just three negative examples. The splashy and traumatic ones that make the news. There are countless others, as well as countless examples of where the public and private personas did match. Although they don’t make the news, no doubt you’ve experienced both.

So what makes the difference? What are the ingredients that lead to congruency in the personas of some and not others? What can we draw from the failures, and not just the epic and public ones, that will help us avoid similar outcomes? I’m going to borrow a line from C.S. Lewis’ opening forward to his book, Mere Christianity, here. There are “far more, and more talented, authors already engaged in such matters” as to the numerous differences between leaders who are congruent or not in public and private personas.

Instead, let’s return to the original curiosity of what questions can help lead to congruency for the leader.

The Temptation of Jesus

In Luke 4:1-13, the gospel writer describes the testing of Jesus in the wilderness. The importance of the experience Jesus had immediately before this — his baptism and the Father’s affirmation of Jesus’ identity — cannot be overlooked when considering the wilderness account of chapter 4. Jesus knew who he was and where he was going before facing the test of the wilderness. That was the foundation that allowed him to pass the test.

Yet, in the testing, we see a glimpse of what all leaders face. Jesus, as a man, was subject to the same temptations we face. Paul affirms this in 1 Corinthians 10:13. The Message version says this, “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face.” Including Jesus.

James 1 also talks about testing and trials and temptation. It’s helpful here to think of these words as describing a process of refining, so we can be “mature and complete, lacking nothing” (v4). In other words, the tests and temptations which life brings are opportunities the Father uses to help us become the fullest and best expression of who He wants us to be.

Although likely obvious, it is worth stating that the congruency of public and private persona to which we’re aspiring in this article is one in which the leader’s example is loving God and loving others. Christ-like. And with Jesus as the example, we find in his wilderness temptation three questions a leader can ask to help pass their own tests. To help keep the visible persona aligned with the behind-the-curtain persona.

Take or Give

The first test Jesus faced came after a 40-day fast. Jesus was hungry. The account in Luke 4:2 says so. It is not true to the text or Jesus’ humanity to believe otherwise. Jesus’ tempter surely understood that; otherwise the first question would have been different. There is no doubt that Jesus desired food. But in that moment, his desire for food was not greater than his desire to be grounded in who he was, who the Father said he was.

The first question a leader can ask is this: Where am I trying to take for me rather than give for others?

Jesus had the authority and the power to do what the tempter was suggesting. He had the desire for food; anyone fasting for only a few meals know that same desire. He had the means. He had the motive. And now had an opportunity. Yet he resisted the temptation. He passed the test and was refined in the process, because he chose not to take for himself.

This isn’t to say that desires should be denied or ignored. Hunger, left unfulfilled, doesn’t give life. Desire is natural, and God ordained. But when desire is not channeled by the grounding of one’s identity it will result in the choice to take rather than give. The consequences of taking for oneself could be small or they could be significant. Think of David and what his desire did to Bathsheba and Uriah and the ripple effect on his kingdom and impact as the leader.

Motive is important here. It’s what makes the difference between cooperating with the testing (refining) process and pushing against it. This first question helps the leader uncover the motive surrounding the desire — Is it for me and my gain or for the benefit of others?

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

(Series continued tomorrow)

Blog Series: Behind the Curtain

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

No matter the organization you choose to analyze, there’s an understanding every one doesn’t see all the stuff. There are things not seen or known by the public and, often, not the majority of those engaged in the organization (staff, volunteers, etc.). Some call it seeing behind the curtain.

Others refer to as organizational politics. I’m not a fan of that label, but it’s understandable why people use it. And therein lies what we’re really analyzing-people.

The stuff behind the curtain is actually the actions/interactions of organizational leaders. How do they get along? How do they manage themselves? Is there a mirror anywhere, and who’s responsible for its use?

It seems healthy, thriving organizations care about what’s behind the curtain as much as, if not more than, the other side. A couple of weeks ago in watching a young organization I wondered to myself what it would take for it to be one of those organizations for the long haul-an organization whose public persona matches what’s behind the curtain.

I invited my friend Mark Stanifer to join the wondering by sending this question: What questions must be answered in order for what’s behind your organization’s curtain to match your public persona? The result is a blog series that we’ve co-authored.

Mark’s contributions focus on questions for leaders; mine focus on questions for the leadership team.

Keep watch for Mark’s first post.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Saving Lives: We All Can

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Recently in a class I was facilitating, two references to suicidal ideation were unexpectedly mentioned. The first one was definitely out of nowhere for me and the rest of the class.

The main topic of that night’s class was finding peace in your beliefs. Naturally, the first presenter of three on the night’s program was a pastor. While he was speaking, a participant shared this in the chat (Zoom meeting):

I just want to let you know that you saved my life when I found you on tiktok.

The second reference to the possible loss of life was shared by the second presenter, a church attendee sharing their story in finding a church home. Part of this story included suicide consideration-this after serving on several church staffs, by the way.

After hearing these personal stories from two people who could easily no longer be on earth, a connection crossed my mind. The theme of the class was finding peace. These two had a season where they were searching for peace. In that season of lacking peace, their lives were at risk.

CONNECTION: Lack of peace is life threatening.

I shared that connection with the class and then offered this encouragement to everyone. Whatever you have offering peace to any community (family, neighborhood, work, church, city), your offering saves lives. It’s not only the pastor who brings peace by preaching or aiding someone in securing their personal beliefs. It’s also the teacher who asks the student about the bruise. It’s the law enforcement officer who delivers good news. It’s the grocery shopper who commends the cashier. It’s the neighbor who offers to mow the yard. It’s anyone who takes time to notice and inquires when they sense a lack of peace.

Any effort to bring, restore, support, or provide peace is life saving. For them. For you. For us.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.”

Matthew 5:9

Child of God, how did you make peace this week? Congratulations! You saved life.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash