In episode 10 of Season 11 of the Being Known podcast, Dr. Thompson named something that I instantly honed in on because I’ve experienced it.
Over the last few years, I’ve experienced several instances where someone explained their reaction to an event or moment with the phrase, “I didn’t feel safe.” That immediately appeared to me like a learned expression, something they’ve been educated as a way to express their reaction. Yet, that phrase in and of itself left me with questions. But they were questions I kept to myself lest I upset the person any further or potentially came across as not hearing them or lacking empathy. Frankly, I walked away wondering how best to respond.
Dr. Thompson explains his opinion about the usage of this phrase in this two-minute clip.
“The reality is I don’t know what you mean when you say you feel unsafe.”
I connected with that statement. It feels like the work of repair is somehow all on the other party, but it doesn’t seem clear where to start. Changing the statement to what is actually being felt instead of what is not being felt makes things clearer for both parties.
I’m curious about your experience of either using this phrase or being on the receiving end of it. How do you respond to Dr. Thompson’s thoughts about it?
His name is Yohel Pozo. St. Louis Cardinals’ fans know him…more by the day.
This photo from yesterday is his winning-the-game stance, waiting for his teammates to rush him in celebration after he hit the winning single in the 11th inning to end the game. As usual, there’s much more to his story than that one moment.
Before this season, 27-year-old Pozo, a native of Venezuela, had played just 21 major league games with the Rangers back in 2021. Believe it or not, only a year earlier Pozo and his family found themselves homeless and living out of their car. Why? Besides being out of work due to the Minor League season being canceled due to the COVID pandemic, his young son had suffered a stroke when he was just a few months old, depleting the family’s finances.
How has Pozo managed to stay focused and deliver once-in-a-lifetime results, such as homering in his St. Louis debut back in April? Based on this quote, it appears it’s having a foundation of fundamentals skills that make him a clutch, reliable hitter in any situation.
That type of routine may sound drastic, even unnecessary. But its results have sustained Yozo and his family, who are reaping the long-awaited benefits.
He’s having fun. The fans are too. We all can thank dad and grandpa…and I suppose black beans.
First, I want to think my friend Megan for gifting this book to me. And I’m going to regift it as suggested.
You’re not alone if the name Sanford Greenberg is new to you. After reading his memoir, I suggest taking the time to get to know him.
His life is triumphant in numerous ways, most notably the journey of taking the tragedy of going blind and living life to the fullest in spite of it. How he accomplished finishing college and going after other degrees is one thing. But continuing to dream big and go hard in all areas is equally inspiring.
Knowing I’m regifting the book, I didn’t do any highlighting. Out of many elaborative thoughts and quotes, I’d like to share just one from chapter 14, “The Start of Something Big.”
I was bitten by some kind of bug. Once someone gets his or her resolve up and running, and gets it focused in a direction, it is hard to put on the brakes. In a word, there is momentum. Also, aggressive work habits form. For us blind people, it is especially hard to hold back because we are always concerned about security. Like those who survived and prospered long after the Great Depression but could never shake the habit of stockpiling food and cash for a rainy day, we never feel comfortable, in our guts, about sitting back and saying ‘Okay, that’s it. I’ve done enough.’
Sitting back. It seems to be an art form of sorts. Or at least some form of discipline that some do naturally and others work hard to pursue.
Security. It seems to be more and more pursued yet less and less attained.
Greenberg’s journey of learning to sit back and where to find security led him to this conclusion: “The only worthwhile things in the world are people and ideas.” These drove him to an extraordinary life that may have only been possible due to overcoming tragedy, striving for the light.
I’m richer for having read Sanford Greenberg’s memoir. I’m glad we met.
If it’s doubtful you’ll read it, enrich yourself by watching this video about his lifelong friendship with Art Garfunkel.
Two ongoing life wins today: Spiritual Directing and Being Known Podcast Listening
I’m up to episode 9 in season 11, which is entitled “Rupture and Repair.” This episode focused on mastering the art of repair.
23+ minutes into the conversation Curt said this:
Everybody needs the place where you can come and discharge…especially in the presence of someone else who can receive it. We need to know what needs to be discharged can be done in the presence of someone who can receive it.
He goes on to make the connection that everyone who pursues repairing ruptures is actually growing in their ability to be a peacemaker.
A peacemaker can then be someone who is growing in their understanding of how to manage their own ruptures.
A peacemaker is also someone who is a trusted receiver of someone’s responses to their ruptures.
Together peace is pursued.
Together repair is possible after rupture.
Rupture is coming. How can we grow in our response? Who can I lean on to be a receiver in my need for peace?
This was just one of many gems in this episode. Catch the full episode here:
NOTE: Spiritual Directors are receivers and peacemakers. It’s why I keep returning…and winning.
After reading The Lord is My Courage on hoopla, a related title was suggested which I decided to read because of the unique promise. That promise was a look at this poem from the basis of the author’s years as a keeper of sheep. It did not disappoint.
An overall takeaway is just how near death sheep can be unless their shepherd relentlessly cares for them. Keller explains that David’s poem actually addresses all four seasons in a year of a sheep’s life and what is necessary for the sheep to “not want.”
The strange thing about sheep is that because of their very makeup it is almost possible for them to be made to lie down unless four requirements are met…They are free of all fear, free from friction, free of pests, and free from hunger. (Chapter 3, “He Makes Me Lie Down in Green Pastures”)
In that same chapter he explains that a flock that is restless, discontented, always agitated, and disturbed never does well. Sound familiar? The value of being made to lie down is to our benefit.
The most vivid image Keller paints comes in chapter five, “He Restores My Soul.” He draws a parallel between another familiar David passage in Psalm 42:11, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God…”
Only those acquainted with sheep and their habits understand the significance of a “cast” sheep or a “cast down” sheep.
This is an old English shepherd’s term for a sheep that has turned over on its back and cannot get up again by itself.
A cast sheep is a very pathetic sight. Lying on its back, its feet in the air, it flays away frantically struggling to stand up, without success. Sometimes it will bleat a little for help, but generally it lies there lashing about in frightened frustration.
If the owner does not arrive on the scene within a reasonably short time, the sheep will die…Nothing seems to so arouse his constant care and diligent attention to the flock as the fact that even the largest, fattest, strongest, and sometimes healthiest sheep can become cast and be a casualty.
He goes on to describe what’s required when he finds a cast ewe, which includes rubbing limbs to restore circulation after picking her up one or more times until she regains equilibrium and starts to walk steadily and surely.
One final noteworthy thought is this one from chapter 7, “Even Though I Walk Through the Valley.” Keller shares that this is a turn in the poem not only from the viewpoint but also in the season being described, how summer and autumn look for the shepherd and his flock. Keller explains David’s firsthand experience by making this statement: “Never did he take his flock where he had not already been before.”
If you find yourself today in search of freedom, or lying on your back flaying, or walking through the valley, rest assured your shepherd is with you. He has what you need. He’s watching over you. I encourage you to find a way to read this book to let those truths grow roots in your heart, mind, and soul.
Recently, after reading a book about the life of Jesus, I decided it was time to read through the Gospels. For the most part, I’m taking it a chapter a day.
This week I read the Parable of the Sower, one of Jesus’ most well-known parables, in Mark 4; it’s also found in Matthew 13 and Luke 8. The teaching focuses on four outcomes of the sown seeds: stolen, short-lived, choked, and fruitbearing.
Keeping your path receptive to the sown seeds requires diligence. Diligence against predators. Diligence to protect roots. Diligence to prioritize eternal things. Diligence to stay hungry and thirsty.
The featured picture on this post is from my back yard. Fortunate for me, HOA fees keep the community where I now live quite immaculate. In the month that I’ve lived here, it’s clear diligence is heavily disciplined.
The state of my heart and soul is no one else’s responsibility. I can’t pay a fee for someone else to be diligent on my behalf. Pretty sure that leads to wrong priorities, unprotected and rootless living. If my heart was originally set on eternity, it’s in my best interest to diligently maintain that origin.
John Gregory 