Author: johngregoryjr

21st Century Friends

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I woke up this morning smiling. I got to spend 3 hours with a 21st century friend last night. Let me explain.

We met in 2016 by way of the land of phone conference calls. He lives in Ohio; I live in Florida. We took some coaching classes together and have pursued friendship since. What other century has afforded humans such interaction? Thus, a 21st century friend. Which leads me to think about the guy I wrote about in my last blog post.

We met by Zoom. He lives in Wisconsin. Odds are you’ve never heard of what he does. He is a Virtual Reality pastor for his church. No kidding. I kept saying to him, “This isn’t why we’re talking, but I have so many questions.” No other century has imagined humans going to church virtually. Which leads me to think about conversations I had earlier this week with a friend in Jordan.

We met…wait for it…in person. Six years ago I traveled to Jordan twice with a few folks from our church to provide services for Iranian and Syrian refugees. That’s where I met Homero, who by the way is Brazilian. On that trip I was introduced to What’sApp. I had no choice in order to connect with our airport shuttle driver; that was her means of communicating. So since then, Homero and I occasionally connect from wherever he is in the world through means of an app. What other century has allowed instantaneous conversation with anyone anywhere in the world? Which brings me back to last night with my Ohio friend.

We were on a walk towards ice cream after eating dinner on St. Armands Circle. We were passing a store, guessing by the window display, was some kind of gift shop. But a sign by the door included ice cream and baklava. I said, “Hey, I have to go in here. I’ve never seen this place.” I ended up walking out with more Turkish baked goods than one human should purchase. More about that later.

Come to find out, the sales clerk encouraging my baked goods splurge just arrived in the U.S. three months ago from Turkey. “I came to America to get my PhD in climate change and to reap the benefits of what’s possible here so I can return home to help my country.” He shared his story in pretty good English. Imagine our shock when he said he didn’t speak English when he left Turkey. To explain his amazing 3-month-English-speaking capacity, he said, “I watch YouTube.”

Thinking about all four of these connections makes me smile. Here’s to the 21st century, and all the friends it affords!

Heavenly 4-Year-Old Heart

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Last year I started working part time for a church staffing agency. It’s quite an interesting opportunity to meet candidates from all over the United States. They are in that “wonderful” season of ministry job searching. Been there, done that. So it’s easy to relate to their emotions and thoughts.

Yesterday I was interviewing a candidate for a position where the church has included this statement in the profile of the lead pastor they hope to join their team to be sent out to plant a church: “A pastor is one who has the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the skin of a rhinoceros.”

I’ve enjoyed sharing this with the candidates and asking them where they believe they fit in those three images. This candidate totally embraced the sentiment and spoke honestly. His answer about the heart of a child had all the things. Read below.

I have been watching my 4-year-old closely for the past couple of years, and there was something that stood out to me last year. Just this absolute, like unconditional love that she has for every single person around her. Every single person, you know.

Like, at some point in time something gets ingrained in all of us that there’s social economic classes. There’s racial classes. There’s all this kind of stuff, and I’m just watching my 4-year-old daughter, like she doesn’t care about any of that. All she cares about is, “Do I get to hang out with my friends today.”

No matter what family background they have, or no matter, you know, what their skin color is, anything like that. She doesn’t even care whether or not they believe the same thing that she believes, at this point. And there’s just something that is so heavenly about that that I 100% agree. And I would love to be more like my daughter in that sense, that I can just see people, and we’re like, “Cool. How do I love you well, today?” 

Photo by Jonas Kakaroto on Unsplash

Be The One To Transform Lives

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Today starts an incredible philanthropic event for the region where I live in Florida. The event is a fundraiser for over 700 nonprofits that serve multiple counties. The online event will raise millions of dollars, all made possible by the generosity of two foundations: Community Foundation of Sarasota County and The Patterson Foundation. You can read all about it on the event website: Giving Challenge.

Samaritan Counseling Services of the Gulf Coast, where I am the Community Care Director, is fortunate to be one of these nonprofits. 2024 marks Samaritan’s 25th anniversary. We celebrated last month at our annual luncheon and received tremendous support. We are grateful to have this opportunity to broaden our reach so that more folks can help support Samaritan’s mission to instill hope and transform lives through providing professional mental health services.

Samaritan’s goals for this 24-hour event include $25,000 and 160 donors. I invite you to be part of transforming lives by giving your gift on my personal fundraising page. Every gift between $25-$100 will be matched. We serve thousands of individuals and families each year. Your gift today will support the transformation that happens every day in our offices as our counselors walk with their clients. Thank you for considering joining our team to transform a life.

The event opens at Noon today and is open through Noon tomorrow (EST). Here’s the link to give: https://www.givingchallenge.org/p2p/335581/john-gregory-0540a77e-08ce-4982-bd2a-6140d0f10f39

Burden Management

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I was thinking the other day about burdens. Sometimes we know about them; sometimes we’re unaware. More about that in a moment.

As I thought about this, I recalled one of the most memorable images I’ve witnessed while running a race. Believe it or not, it was a runner wearing an Eiffel Tower replica. No kidding.

Frenchman Michel Bach

According to a 2016 article, Mr. Bach has ran in over 200 races around the world. Occasionally he “dons the Eiffel Tower to stand out and embrace his Frenchness.” I don’t recall which race I ran where I saw him (seems like it was either New Orleans or Little Rock), but I was at a loss for words. I believe donning a patch or tattoo of the flag would suffice, but that’s just me.

There are seasons we are well aware of the burdens we have donned. They may have been our choice; they may have been chosen for us. We adjust. We manage. We embrace. When the season is over, we take our learnings and enjoy the lighter season ahead.

Then there are moments where we suddenly awaken to the reality we’ve been carrying a burden without any knowledge when we acquired it. Here’s one that I became aware of a few years ago: Ungrieved Loss. I tell you, that awareness lives out the phrase “knowing is half the battle.”

So how do we wake up to these burdens? I don’t have all the answers to that question, but here are some guesses.

  • Your last sad moment might be a start.
  • What causes your heart heaviness?
  • What’s something you obsess over that is out of your control?
  • What if you asked your closest friend what burdens they believe you carry?
  • Finally, name that thing you know needs to be drawn into the light.

You know, Michel might be on to something. It’s possible he dons a burden he’s aware of in order to bring to light one that’s in the dark. Extreme? Maybe. I’m guessing he lives a lighter life than the rest of us.

Here’s to the pursuit of better burden management, the known and the unknown.

While I Wait

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In my teens, I developed a bad habit-focusing on the future to the point of missing the present. Unbeknownst to me, I was placing myself into a perpetual place of waiting.

Waiting is a lot like patience. It’s a topic we don’t enjoy. Maybe akin to keeping dentist appointments.

So like scheduling dentist visits, I engage the topic of waiting because it’s good for me. Recently that engagement led me to a YouVersion reading plan by Lincoln Brewster based on his song “While I Wait.”

Brewster writes about three actions that sustain us during waiting: worship, prayer, and service. These actions naturally lead to transformation. It’s possible their power is magnified during waiting.

I takeaway from this 5-day plan the importance of honoring the present. Although aspiring and hoping for the future is healthy, there’s a danger those aspirations and hopes dishonor the present.

If waiting is a topic you’d like to engage, here’s the link to that YouVersion plan and a video of the song: http://bible.com/r/3El

Blessed are the (Reggae) Peacemakers

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Monday night I had a conversation on my mind that was going to begin my Tuesday. I asked myself, “How do I want to show up?” And one of the Beatitudes was the answer.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Matthew 5:9

Then I wondered if I could find a song based on this verse that had relatable lyrics to this anticipated conversation. In my music search, I found it. Not only that, it was reggae, which I enjoy. Check out this YouTube video of the recording.

Artist Osmond Collins

“Hold your peace and let love reign.”

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Organizations Must Ask (Post #3)

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It’s going to happen.

Misunderstanding. A bad hire. Fear. Doubt. Disagreement. Separation. Change.

When it does, someone has to hold up their hand and say, “Hold Up!”

Reminds me of the Progressive Insurance commercials where a red flag gets thrown. Hilarious.

An organization that is unified on their values and builds community between one another has at least one other question to answer to ensure their public persona matches their behind-the-curtain private one: How’s the culture on both sides of the curtain?

The flipside of making sure all is well behind the curtain is that you still have to pay attention to what’s going on on the other side. In last week’s episode of “At The Table,” the troubles at Hertz and United Airlines were discussed; it’s evident the Execs aren’t bothering with gauging the culture between the front lines and their customers. And it’s been that way for years.

How is that possible? Is it because no one behind the curtain cares? No one’s assigned to be the “Keeper of the Curtain”? Is there dedicated time behind the curtain to talk about the culture on the other side?

Leaders, to engage this question further, here are four more questions for your team to discuss:

  • What’s our process to gauge the culture on both sides of the curtain?
  • Who’s responsible for gathering cultural data and conveying it behind the curtain?
  • What kind of culture do our values promise?
  • What are we willing to do when unhealthy culture is present?

May your culture on both sides of the curtain matter and thrive.

Photo by David Werbrouck on Unsplash

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Organizations Must Ask (Post #2)

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I grew up a PK. For those outside of church world, PK stands for preacher’s kid.

In addition to growing up in a preacher’s home, I also spent over 20 years serving on church staffs. There are many interesting dynamics to being on a church staff, but I believe one of the keys to organizational health behind the curtain has to be relationships.

In my dad’s day, the prevailing thought was pastors didn’t make friends in their churches. I hear that thought, but I never accepted it for myself. More and more, this seems to be the choice. Reality is, either way you live, it’s going to come with some challenges. But that’s true about all relationships, right?

Building on the first question about values to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one, it seems you must answer this question about your team: How are you building community in your organization?

Community is all about relationships. A healthy community invests in one another, cares for one another, listens to one another, trusts one another, celebrates one another, challenges one another, and commits to one another. If any of these actions are what you claim to do for your customers, it has to be going on in your team also. Community requires intention. It has to be pursued.

Leaders, to engage this question further, here are four more questions for your team to discuss:

  • In our hiring process, how much attention is given to community health?
  • What have we done in the last six months to build community?
  • How well does our team pursue community by growing in understanding one another?
  • Who’s really in charge of the community behind the curtain?

May your community behind the curtain shine in front of it.

Photo by Windows on Unsplash

Behind the Curtain: 3 Questions Organizations Must Ask (Post #1)

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Mark wasn’t wrong. In January I observed an exchange between two organizations that led me down a rabbit hole in my brain. It ended with me posing this question: What questions must be answered to ensure your public persona matches your behind-the-curtain private one? Mark agreed to tackle this from a leadership angle (see posts March 10-12); my task is to address the organization angle.

Before throwing out the first question, I need to throw credit to one of my favorite leadership podcasts. The Table Group’s podcast entitled At The Table is worth your following. Patrick Lencioni’s team asks and answers leadership questions every week that challenge leaders and their organizations. Subscribe to it now!

Wednesday as I waited in the lobby of a local nonprofit waiting for a meeting, I noticed a framed image of their values. It caught my eye mostly because of the Hebrew words. I was curious. If you’re curious, here’s the list of ten:

I’ve gotten to know one of their VP’s over the last eight months. He’s relatively new in town and therefore new to his team. We haven’t gotten to know each other well enough for me to inquire, but I wonder how his interview process went compared to his reality of being on the job. You know what I mean, right? It seems more often than not the hiring process doesn’t really pull back the entire curtain.

Which leads me to question #1: Are we all for the same things, really?

Doing the work to solidify the organization’s values is important. Equally important is protecting them. Through the hiring process, alignment on values needs to be top of mind. Periodically, probably routinely, values need to be restated in leadership meetings. It wouldn’t hurt to find creative ways to check if all team members can state them.

This matters for one huge reason. If you say in front of the curtain that you stand for something but rarely discuss it behind the curtain, eventually those on the other side will find out. Your words must be more than lip service.

Leaders, to engage this question further, here are four more questions for your team to discuss:

  • When’s the last time we checked our values as a team?
  • How are we evaluating our values?
  • How well are we listening to people on both sides of the curtain in evaluating our values?
  • What uncomfortable conversations do we need to have about our values?

May your words behind the curtain match your words in front of it.

Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash

“It’s Why I Keep Coming Back”

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Had a little “aha” moment this afternoon during a conversation.

I was answering this question: “Between all the areas of your life we’ve been discussing, where is your soul being nourished?”

Part of my answer was to say the very space I was in. And then I followed it with, “That’s why I keep coming back.”

Seemed significant. The question and the answer.

The question because I was being asked to identify/name where my soul nourishment is coming from right now. Not in the past. Right now. You might want to sit in that question right now also.

The answer was significant for more than the obvious identified by my coming back. But I also admitted my soul’s nourishment was not coming from any of the suggested places. And that was okay. It was more than okay.

It made me carry the thought further.

  • Where do I keep coming back?
  • Is it soul nourishing?
  • If so, how would I like to attend to that in my routine?
  • If not, how can I eliminate it from my routine?

I encourage you sit with the question and your answer. You might be surprised where you keep coming back.

Photo by Margit Bantowsky on Unsplash