Author: johngregoryjr

Nose Hair Friends

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I came home the other day from an outing. During my get comfy routine, I recalled a moment earlier when a team member had pointed out something was on my face.

I went to look in the mirror. Sure enough, there was nothing to see where he had me wipe away the snack crumb. BUT, what I saw in the mirror was more disturbing. One obvious nose hair longer than acceptable in my right nostril. I immediately thought, “Why didn’t he point that out, too?”

You may ask, “John, who does that…point out long nose hairs?” I asked myself that same question, and thus this blog entry.

It’s a test. What level of friendship does it take for a friend to point out something wrong with their friend’s appearance? Does it even take a level of friendship? When it comes to nose hairs, I’m convinced it does. 

I say this because of experience. I recall two nose hair conversations in my 30s. One with a friend and his wife. She and I told him he needed to address his two growing bushes. He whined that it wasn’t comfortable. But guess what, he agreed. Why? Because two valued people were looking out for him. The other conversation was with a roommate. We had all kinds of conversations that only close friends do.

Why am I bothering with this thought? One, because it makes me chuckle. Two, I find it an interesting friend test. Who are the friends in your life that will talk about nose hair, yours or theirs? Whoever they are, keep ’em. They are few and far between and worth any uncomfortableness.

DARE: Call or text a friend to say, “Thank you for being my nose hair friend!”

Photo by Braydon Anderson on Unsplash

Reset-It’s A New Day

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Not once, not twice, but three times this week I heard the word or concept of resetting. Interestingly enough, the first time was in my own head.

Wednesday morning I was reflecting on an interaction from the previous day. When I greeted the individual that morning from the previous day’s interaction, their reaction made me think, “They are really great at resetting.”

Here’s what that means to me. Nothing was held over. It was a fresh start-in more ways than one, a new day. You’d have no idea if any frustration, irritation, or bitter seed had been caressed. Odds are it was because they have a practice of resetting.

This was followed by my hearing the latest episode of At the Table on Thursday morning. The topic: Hit the Reset Button. Their team replayed the previous day’s 34-minute meeting where they reinforced clarity on the team as a way to enter 2024. A key principle in that discussion: “People don’t need to be instructed as much as they need to be reminded.” Sounds like another definition for resetting.

So I have two opportunities for you to reset. The first one is to answer some version of this question: “What reminder best keeps me on track?” Whatever it is, print it, post it, memorize it, schedule it, share it, journal it, find all the ways possible to keep it in front of you.

The second opportunity is to check out two songs that are on my 2024 playlist. They both focus on the theme of each day is new. One is by TobyMac; the other by Danny Gokey. Take a listen and reset.

What Version of You are you living?

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Everything matures. Some with intention. Some by nature.

Two examples of intentional maturity: running shoes and cell phones.

This Saucony running shoe image is the Kinvara line. I have a pair of 13s. 15s are due out soon. They pump out a new version of shoes quite often. Some better. Some not.

We’ve seen the lines of cell phone consumers waiting to get their hands on the latest upgrade. They put it out. We’ve got to have it.

Humans certainly mature both by nature and intention. A simple google search reveals experts say we have anywhere from three to six stages in our developmental categories. Those categories include emotional, mental, social, physical, and spiritual maturity/development. In this moment, we are in various stages in each category. You could call that your 2024 version.

In the last 24 months, this topic has surfaced occasionally. Since it came up this week over coffee (and hot chocolate), I took a look at my journals to recall other thoughts and conversations how my friends and I categorize ourselves. 

One of those entries came as a result of this quote by Charles Taylor printed on the page of my Full Focus Journal: “We are in fact all acting, thinking, and feeling out of backgrounds and frameworks which we do not fully understand.” My journal entry was this:

I don’t know who Charles Taylor is, but this statement is very true. I’ve decided this about my adult life:

20s – full of myself (judging, complaining, criticizing)

30s – questioning just about everything

40s – settling down and finding balance

50s – listening at a whole new level

Some move through these things faster/better. The reality is we do the best on the journey we’ve been given. God’s grace meets each one of us in the moment, waits for us to see the light, declares, “You are mine. Always will be.”

12/29/21

A year later there’s an entry simply headed “5.0”. I remember that coming from separate conversations with two friends, one who said they viewed themselves as being in 2.0 mode. We looked at it differently; my view was by time to determine I’m in 5.0 mode. So I wrote a journal entry describing what 5.0 John could entail. Intention over nature.

I share this because one hope I have for myself and those I engage is that we live intentionally rather than by nature alone. I believe most of us share this hope. It’s on us to put action to that hope. 

Here’s to a hopeful and intentional 2024 version of us all.

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

The First Guy Through the Wall

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AMC is currently showing Moneyball in its rotation. My world usually stops when it’s on. It brings me joy.

Watching it last night, this scene particularly stood out. Some would say it’s the best scene in the movie. Hard to say. But there is a great line in this scene I’d like to chew on.

“The first guy through the wall, he always gets bloody. Always.”

For those unfamiliar with the movie’s story, this scene is toward the end of the movie. The character Brad Pitt plays is the General Manager for the major league baseball team the Oakland A’s. He’s just led them through a historic season that began a shift in the sport. For that matter, in many sports.

How did he do that? He integrated math and science into the operations of running a baseball team. He was the first to do it. And he paid dearly for it. He got bloody.

In an earlier scene, he is challenged by the guy he brought in to lead this change. When he started traded players that didn’t make sense to the average baseball executive, he was warned that it wouldn’t be popular. This clip is the end of that exchange.

Leaders, one could say if you don’t have some blood on you something’s wrong. “What are we doing here?” If you’re looking at the wall wondering if it’s worth it, check your questions. They may not be the right ones.

Being the first leader through the wall takes courage. Take a few steps back and start running.

Humble Inquiry (book review)

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What a first read for 2024! Not sure how I came across it, but Edgar Schein’s Humble Inquiry is both refreshing and challenging. And I read the first edition not realizing there is a second edition. Wonder what I missed?

We cannot hope to understand and work with people from different occupational, professional, and national cultures if we do not know how to ask questions and build relationships that are based on mutual respect and the recognition that others know things that we may need to know in order to get a job done.

Introduction: Creating Positive Relationships and Effective Organizations

Schein contributed over five decades to the field of organizational health, a good portion of that as a MIT professor. His work was/is countercultural to the mindset of Doing and Telling.

Humble Inquiry is the art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.

Introduction

Schein repeatedly describes relationships with these words: trust, interactive, conversational, building, investing, processing, shared value, and mutual. After chapter 1’s focus on defining humility, chapter 2 shares case examples to which Schein keeps referencing through the remaining chapters. These three statements display the chapter’s nuggets:

Don’t assume that the person with the question has asked the right question.

Accessing your ignorance, or allowing curiosity to lead you, is often the best guide to what to ask about.

Humble Inquiry is behavior that comes out of respect and the desire to improve the quality of the conversation by stimulating greater openness and the sharing of task-relevant information.

Chapter 2, Humble Inquiry in Practice-Case Examples

Chapter 4, “The Culture of Do and Tell,” gives the most countercultural challenge, at least to U.S. readers. He believes the main problem standing in the way of better relationships and conversations is our culture that values task accomplishment more than relationship building. A second problem is asking, in general, is less valued that telling. Schein suggests the key to overcome these problems is Here-and-now Humility, described in chapter 1 as admitting dependence on others.

Schein culminates his work well with the last chapter as a “how to.” He makes a helpful acknowledgement that a culture shift requires unlearning and new learning, which result in two types of anxiety he labels survival anxiety and learning anxiety. The courage to face anxiety can result in beautiful relationships that otherwise wouldn’t surface.

A well-timed Humble Inquiry that launches a conversation that leads to a relationship should be thought of as a thing of beauty. Innovations in how we conduct conversations should be treated as art.

Chapter 7, Developing the Attitude of Humble Inquiry

Anyone in leadership will grow personally and relationally by reading Humble Inquiry. I’d also encourage business/executive coaches to read Schein’s book to sharpen themselves and to resource their clients.

Putting Ourselves in the Center

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My annual reading of AWE by Paul David Tripp last month was timely. It also was impacted by growth in the last 12 months. I read through a different lens. Result: I continue to appreciate the big idea that checking our awe is valuable.

The first quote that stood out to me in this reading was from chapter 4, “Replacement”:

When we put ourselves in the center of the story, not only do we become rebels against God, we become a danger to ourselves and others.

Is putting ourselves in the center of the story a battle? For everyone. Is the thought that this means rebelling against God and endangering everyone mainstream? Nope. Maybe that’s why everyone battles it.

We don’t have to agree with Tripp. What we can do is challenge our mind and spirit to check our heart when we find ourselves in the center of the story. Is God on my heart’s throne right now? Are any relationships struggling right now? How is my joy and rest?

The second quote that stood out was from chapter 13, “Work”:

If you look to achievement to feel good about your life, to feel secure, or to have a life of meaning and purpose, then you will be dissatisfied with today’s success.

This sounds familiar (check out this post). The buzz of achievement dies. That buzz will not be satisfied by another achievement. Funny how my achievement also puts me in the center of the story.

When we find ourselves in the center of today’s story looking for the next buzz, it’s time for an awe check.

Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

2023 Library

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For a sixth year I have followed a self-developed reading strategy with the objective to read broader. The goal: read books falling under diverse headings. This strategy is still working for me, particularly this year-the richest year of reading in a while.

For the curious, here is the library of 22 books including avenue of reading:

  • Against the Pollution of the I by Jacques Lusseyran (hoopla)
  • All That I Dread by Linda White (kindle)…the five titles by Linda White in the list are a series of fictional books
  • An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor (hoopla)…my favorite book on the list
  • The Awakened Brain by Dr. Lisa Miller (hard copy)…most thought-provoking book on the list
  • Awe by Paul David Tripp (kindle)…an annual read
  • Faith Beyond Belief by David Steindl-Rast and Anselm Grun (hoopla)…most engaging book on the list
  • The Fear That Chases Me by Linda White (kindle)
  • Finding God in the Waves by Mike McHargue (hoopla audio)…most compelling book on the list
  • Freedom Journeys: The Tale of Exodus and Wilderness across Millennia by Rabbi Arthur Waskow and Rabbi Phyllis Berman (hoopla)
  • Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson (hard copy)…the best big idea book on the list
  • Jesus Wept by Bruce Marchiano (hard copy)
  • Learning to Walk in the Dark by Barbara Brown Taylor (hoopla)
  • My Darkest Night by Linda White (kindle)
  • Prayers for Freedom by Bruce Wilkinson (hoopla)
  • Rich in Heaven by Chris Mackey (hoopla)
  • Silence and Beauty by Makoto Fujimara (hoopla)
  • Solo by Stephen Smith and Peter Ivey (kindle)…most practical book on the list
  • South by Ernest Shackleton (hoopla)
  • Toughest People to Love by Chuck DeGroat (hoopla)…most helpful book on the list
  • When Evil Finds Us by Linda White (kindle)
  • Winter Flight by Linda White (kindle)
  • The Wisdom of Your Body Hillary McBride (hoopla)

NOTE: If you’re not familiar with hoopla, check it out: https://www.hoopladigital.com/

Check out a New Podcast, 3-Minute Reset

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Yesterday I posted about developing your own Bible reading plan. As a follow up, I want to share a new podcast with you that I just learned about today.

I follow Pat Lencioni’s podcast At the Table. Listening to the latest episode on my drive to work this morning, they shared about his partnering with Chris Stefanick to start a new podcast entitled 3-Minute Reset. Daily episodes began January 1.

The 3-Minute Reset is a simple, daily discipline focused on spending a moment in thought and prayer, and rediscovering the peace that is always available to us.  I checked out the first episode during lunch today. I recommend you check it out also.

5 Steps to Customize Your Own Year-Long Bible Reading Plan on YouVersion

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(updated from 1/21/23 post)

A year’s commitment to anything can sound daunting. I imagine that’s the feeling most people have when they consider committing to a 365-day Bible reading plan.

Besides that, most of those plans are designed to take you through the entire Bible. A worthy goal to pursue at least once in life. Yet, the challenge to get that done in a year can be tempting to ditch.

I completed one of those plans once on YouVersion…in about 3 years. See the point.

It took me that long because I choose to take my time. And I like to veer off track. If I want to campout in Jonah longer, I do. If I’m intrigued by a theme in Romans, I’ll take a break from the plan and complete other plans covering that theme…as many as I want as long as I want. Coloring outside the lines.

But the idea of reading a portion of the Bible every day does not mean you have to read the entire Bible in any set amount of time. All it means is placing a priority, developing a rhythm in your day that includes reading the Bible. Whenever you do it, how long you do it, where you do it, that’s entirely up to you. And, for those other rule breakers, what you read is also entirely up to you.

For quite a while, I’ve been using YouVersion reading plans. A nice thing that’s possible is customizing a year-long reading plan. Want to give it a try? Here are five steps.

  1. Determine to Make a Daily Commitment. Pretty obvious, but if you aren’t resolved to it, you won’t make it to December 31st. Sure, you might miss a day here or there. Understandable. Give yourself some grace and think about the fact that odds are you’ve got 5 minutes to give to this commitment and missing it a couple of times doesn’t make you a loser. If you are in, move on to step 2.
  2. Decide on a Theme. There’s a popular trend that’s replacing making New Year’s Resolutions. Instead of setting goals and aspirations, you choose a word that you’d like to guide you for the year. Not sure about that, check out this podcast episode to learn more. I started this in 2020. Each year I’ve utilized it differently, more broadly. This year, that word is what I’m using to customize my Bible reading. My word for 2024 is courage. Know your theme? Move on to step 3.
  3. Search Plans. On the YouVersion app (download it now if you haven’t already), you can search for reading plans simply by typing in a word. Most likely, dozens of reading plans are available. You’re ready for step 4.
  4. Save for Later. On each plan description, you have two choices: sample and save for later. Sample allows you to check out any day of the plan. I do that to get an impression if I think I’ll complete it. If I think so, then I save it for later. You don’t have to start the plan when you find it. I’m not worrying about saving enough plans that equal 365 days, by the way. I just saved the ones that looked interesting to me for now. At the moment, I’ve saved enough plans to get me into February (total up the days for each plan to see how many days you’ve already covered). Saved at least one plan? Final step is next.
  5. Follow the Thread. As you read each plan, some verse/story/character will stand out, grab your attention. Take note. Follow that lead to search for other plans to save for later. For instance, since I did my initial plan saving, the book of 1 Peter has gotten my attention. Adding reading plans can feel very fluid and interactive.

That’s it. This approach proved worthwhile and meaningful last year. If it ain’t broke…

Top 3 2023 Word of the Year Songs

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The first year I chose a word for the year was 2020. It’s an exercise I’ve grown to appreciate. If you have yet to consider it, here are a few blog posts about it:

https://mountainmodernlife.com/word-of-the-year/

https://www.fillingthejars.com/word-for-the-year/

My 2023 word was “rich” for which I created a playlist. At one time the playlist had about 20 songs. Last month as we edged closer to year end, I began deleting songs as a way of keeping focus. And in a fun way, unintentionally, I got down to the top three songs on the list that spoke the most to me along this theme. So I thought I’d share them with you.

To share them, here’s the playlist and videos of each song. Enjoy the richness!