Author: johngregoryjr

Love & Resurrection

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Part two of Miller’s book A Loving Life is entitled “The Shape of the Journey.” A repeated theme is resurrection. When considered through a lens of love, there are some meaningful thoughts to digest.

Every time I endure in love, I go through a mini-death and mini-resurrection. -Chapter 11, “Love Protects”

…in the middle of a death, we should keep an eye out for resurrection. -Chapter 15, “Love Invites Resurrection”

Since watching The Shack last year, one line often comes to my mind when I’m having to endure in love. Mack’s wife said to him at the end of a disagreement, “Don’t forget we love each other.”

Loss of or shifts in relationship challenge our love. There is wisdom in recognizing the mini-death. There is hope in keeping an eye out for mini-resurrection.

A final thought: we can hope for resurrection, but we can’t demand it. In chapter nine, “The Gospel Shape of Love,” Miller shares Paul’s description of the shape of Jesus’ love journey from Philippians 2. It’s a reminder of our model to follow in love and resurrection.

He emptied himself. He took the form of a servant. He was born in the likeness of men. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death. We can do death. But we can’t do resurrection. We can’t demand resurrection-we wait for it.

Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

Balancing Lament

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I believe in the value and need of lamenting. If you’re familiar with the Old Testament book of Ruth, you know the characters had quite a bit to lament over. So it was no surprise as I read Paul E. Miller’s book A Loving Life based on Ruth that he devoted much of the first part teaching about lament.

Chapter three, “The Lost Art of Lament,” is entirely focused on it.

In the West, we’ve lost the practice of lamenting. In contrast, the ancient Hebrews were constantly in God’s face. About one third of the Psalms are laments where the psalmists pour out their hearts to God.

Later in chapter six, Miller gives a comparison between what happens when we don’t lament or when we actually over-lament. Attention grabbing.

…to not lament puts God at arm’s length and has the potential of splitting us. We appear okay, but we are really brokenhearted.

The opposite danger of not lamenting is over-lamenting. Dwelling on a lament is the breeding ground for bitterness. Bitterness is a wound nursed. Our culture’s emphasis on the sacredness of feelings often gives people an unspoken theology of bitterness. They feel entitled to it. -Chapter 6, “Entering a Broken Heart”

I am guilty of this opposite danger. Nursing a wound in such a way as to keep it rather than heal it has planted bitter seeds.

Having done or observed both of these treatments of lament has taught me valuable lessons. The truth of Ecclesiastes 3 bears witness here. “There is a time for everything.” May we all allow and balance lament’s time.

Painting the Messiah’s Entrance

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Christmas 2024 led me to encounter an Advent Christian worship event for the first time. I found it meaningful enough to find others to attend this month. Between the two seasons, I actually went to four of them. They are called Blue Christmas services.

A Blue Christmas service, also called a Longest Night Service, is a Christian worship event during Advent (around Dec 21st) offering comfort and hope for those struggling with grief, loss, loneliness, or pain during the holidays, acknowledging sorrow alongside traditional Christmas joy through prayer, scripture, reflection, music, and candle lighting to find light in darkness. (AI overview)

Each of the four services were unique, largely due to denominational (Lutheran, Methodist, Metropolitan Community, and nondenominational) practices. All left me feeling like the clergy took the service to heart and were not going through motions. As one feels when they allow their grief to be seen and acknowledged, I left each service lighter.

The Lutheran service I attended this December 21st actually left me with joy. Besides the pastor, I was most likely the youngest person of the roughly 30 attendees. These senior saints embraced their faith with such passion that any grief in the room was lifted and hope was offered as a replacement. One particular singer, George, made me smile. I’m guessing he was in his 80s. I will remember his singing for a long time.

The prior Wednesday I attended the service at Church of the Trinity. The intention and detail of that service caught me by surprise. Close to half of the service was interactive. Not in a pushy or uncomfortable expectation, but in a welcoming and inviting sense of togetherness. The team of four ministers served their people in these ways:

  • Holding them
  • Providing space for personal choices
  • Leading by example
  • Leading by going first
  • Walking alongside
  • Not rushing
  • Being with
  • Inviting all to participate

One quote was shared in the opening remarks that said something like this:

Grief is the transitioning from pain and loss to hope and light.

As we all left, it seemed heavy hearts had been emptied, grim faces were now smiling, and tears were turned to singing.

I’m thankful to have found these traditions. Makes me wonder if they don’t paint an equally vivid reminder of the Messiah’s entrance into our world.

The Other Side of Waiting

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Alone in the flames

Looking only at the blaze

I wished to just burn

You stayed, shielded, healed, heard, forgave, whispered

“You will rise from the ashes

Smile again

Stand without shame

Sing again

Look back in wonder

Run again

Raise your head toward heaven

Praise again

Remember who you are

Believe again

Forgive your oppressors

Trust again

Gaze with compassion

Love again

Speak words of peace

Bless again

Serve your neighbor

Breathe again”

This is resurrection

This is abiding

This is the other side of waiting

Photo by Elisabeth Arnold on Unsplash

Fully Alive (book review)

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I was intrigued enough by The Dignity Index (link to prior post) that I found Timothy Shriver’s book, Fully Alive, on audible. I had no idea what I was in for.

There are so many takeaways. Certainly makes me wish I had a hard copy.

But I’ll narrow down my takeaways under three headings:

  1. Fully Alive is a ten+hour history lesson. The lesson includes the Kennedy family history, highlighting the impact of Rosemary’s challenges. The lesson tells the story behind the founding and development of the Special Olympics. Many other lessons are found; but the one most prevalent is the dignity of all humans and the history of all cultures determining if and how they would recognize every person’s worth.
  2. Fully Alive is a look at the whole of a man. Shriver’s transparency about his maturation, his privilege, his spirituality, and his determination are refreshing. His words inspired me to continue efforts to grow in relationships and purpose. They accomplished the promise to paint a picture of what matters most.
  3. Fully Alive is a spotlight on the human spirit. You are introduced to many examples of this spirit. I’m drawn to three of the Special Olympic athletes: Loretta, Donald, and Daniel. Their spirits are depicted as full of grit, presence, and courage. They overcame many barriers resulting in fearless victory in the face of rejection, misdiagnosis, and death. Their stories, their lives depict what Shriver wants us to pursue, living fully.

Listening to this book during this last month was cathartic. I needed it, but was not aware it would come from listening to this book. If your spirit is in need of revival, you might find it in this book. It’s worth a try.

Black & White & Gray & Neither

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My natural mindset nurtured by my upbringing has led me to a lot of work regarding moving away from black and white thinking. Always a work in progress.

My more natural gray-thinking friends and colleagues have been tremendous partners in my growth. But recently, I’ve determined there is another realization to my growth that I’ve never considered.

Here it is: Regardless of whether one thinks naturally black & white or gray, a lack of openness toward the inner work required for growth potentially creates ruptures.

Here’s how Dr. Dena Dinardo explains it:

Explore the value of gray thinking

The final step to managing binary thinking is opening up to the shades in between – the nuance, the uncertainty, the possibility. This is where real growth happens. 

Challenging black and white thoughts and exploring gray thinking (the in-between) allows us to see situations from new angles, which doesn’t just change how we think, but also how we feel and respond. In relationships, this opens the door to deeper understanding, repair, and connection.

This kind of inner work can be difficult to do alone. If you find yourself struggling, consider working with a therapist who can help you develop more flexible and compassionate ways of thinking and relating.

I’m tempted to walk away from relationships lacking mutual desire for growth, willingness to do the work. These are the Neithers. The pain and suffering surrounding Neithers slowly, both physically and/or emotionally, pushes away those working to grow.

May we all embrace our inner work in order to embrace one another…to open the door to deeper…to possibilities otherwise left unknown.

Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash

Have Mercy

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In the same podcast episode mentioned in “How Long,” the speaker’s second focus on praying the Psalms was confession.

He mentioned the few occasions that the Psalmist penned the phrase, “Have Mercy, O God.” The most familiar of these is Psalm 51 by David.

This song is my effort to capture these eight verses:

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

How Long

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I recently listened to a podcast episode of a prayer event in Europe. The episode’s speaker captured the power of praying the Psalms, particularly in regards to lamenting.

His encouragement to help growth in lamenting was focused on the language of Psalm 13, specifically the first three words: “How Long, Lord.”

My lament went from the page to the piano. Before you listen to the recording, take a moment to meditate on the six verses of this psalm:

[1] How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? [2] How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? [3] Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, [4] and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. [5] But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. [6] I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13 NIV

The Dignity Index

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On some things I’m slow, but hey, I’m moving.

I just discovered yesterday that I can create a playlist of podcast episodes on my app. Who knew?

I came across it trying to figure out a shortcut to relisten to two episodes I experienced while driving back and forth to Georgia for Thanksgiving. These episodes shook me in ways my soul said, “Do it again.”

Yes, one of the episodes was from Everything Happens. The guest was Tim Shriver-educator, author, and longtime Chairman of Special Olympics.

Many takeaways. But the one I’d like to shine a light on is The Dignity Index. Development beginning in 2021 and launched in 2022, the Index is an eight-point scale for measuring how we talk to each other when we disagree.

The Dignity Index is designed to draw our attention away from biases and toward the power we each have to heal our country and each other.

This seems to be needed like no other time. In whatever arena you choose, dignity is often disregarded and sometimes replaced with contempt, which is represented by the lower four scores on the Index.

The Index is a tool for learning, awareness, correction, and uniting. We all can use more of that. I know I can; thus, the episode is on my playlist.

Where in your relationships is dignity lacking, maybe even absent due to contempt? What role might you have to ease divisions, prevent violence, and solve problems? What are you willing to do?

Kids Know More About Joy

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Got to spend five hours with lovely Emerlyn on Tuesday. The featured picture is us reading together-her attempt to stay occupied and avoid napping. It worked.

On my drive the next morning, I heard this exchange between Kate Bowler and guest Nikki Grimes on “Everything Happens“:

Kate: Yeah, Nikki, I feel like I could hear your heartbeat when you talk about joy. It really sustains you. Do you think kids know more about joy than other people? Because I have this sense about the way that it’s connected to noticing and gratitude and hope and delight. Like these are all things kids are particularly good at. I just wonder if some of that—the particularity of kids’ ability to notice and be grateful and to be in the details—makes them maybe more… I think so.

Nikki: Oh, they really can hone in on things in a way that we don’t. If you really want to see something or you want to see it a new way, look through a child’s eyes. They’re always noticing things that adults miss.

Emerlyn is a noticer. A busy railroad track lies earshot from her Rara’s and Pop’s home. Each time the passing trains “chooed,” her head would shoot up, eyes would widen as she echoed, “Choo!”

So yes, Kate, kids are better at joy than their adult people. They don’t seem to know not to be. Everything hasn’t been normalized or discounted or experienced. As Emerlyn’s Rara described, she lives in awe and wonder.

On this Thanksgiving day, find the youngest person you can and spend more time with them than you planned. Tap into joy. Notice along with them.

May gratitude, hope, and delight reign your day.