Author: johngregoryjr

Wound’s Intentions

/ johngregoryjr / 2 Comments

Just finished listening to the final episode of season 6 of the Being Known Podcast. Never disappoints.

Curt said something about the story of Adam and Eve that probably only a psychiatrist would come up with. It had to do with wounds. Here’s the quote:

The intention of God wounding Adam in Genesis 2 is for creating beauty and goodness. The intention of the serpent’s wound to Eve in Genesis 3 was to destroy her.

Dr. Curt Thompson

We wound others. Others wound us. Sometimes we intend beauty and goodness; sometimes we intend destruction. So many things could be said about these truths. But I want to take a different direction. However, here’s an interesting question now in my head about emotional wounds: What were the intentions?

It’s Easter weekend. Yesterday I kept a ritual of watching Mel Gibson’s The Passion. So much realistic wounding in that film.

True to form, Jesus’ enemies, both human and spirit, were after destruction.

True to form, Jesus was after beauty and goodness.

Be encouraged. It’s normal for wounds to take time to heal. It’s normal to hate the wait, to wish the pain away, or to rush happiness. But without the waiting and the pain, the healing isn’t complete.

Jesus, thank you for turning intended destruction into eternal goodness…for the beauty of your wounds…for completing your intentions.

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Making God

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

In Psalm 115, the writer describes the gods of other nations besides Israel’s. He makes an interesting comment in verse eight. He says those who make their own gods will become like the gods they trust.

It certainly is convenient to make your own god. Making a god allows for the worshipping of that god to also be up to the maker. So the philosophy can go something like “make your own god, make your own rules, make your own values, make life what you want it to be and you should be happy and fulfilled.”

The challenge of making your god is that your god is confined to the stuff you used to make it. Since that stuff was determined by a human, then that god can only serve humans within their own limits. For me, I need something more. And I’d rather become like something more.

When the Maker and Ruler of the universe expresses a desire to be my god, I’m drawn to consider that option over any other option. He has the best chance to work outside of what I can do, make, or value. I choose to let Him continue to make me, in essence continue to create me into His likeness. I’ll take my chances on fulfillment and happiness in becoming like the god who made me rather than any god I could make.

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

Go For The Green

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

It’s that time of year. Early morning running means mostly running in the dark. And in Florida that also means avoiding sprinkler systems. These days my runs begin anywhere between 4:30 and 6:30AM. No matter what time I leave, if my route includes around the neighborhood somebody’s sprinkler system is doing its thing.

It was around 5:50 this morning as I ran down a block where it’s hit and miss. Some houses have systems; some don’t. For some reason this morning my eyes caught a clear contrast between two neighbors, one with one without. As if the sun was at high noon, there couldn’t have been a clearer sign. It almost looked intentional, as if a hairstylist stopped halfway through the dye job right at the top of the head.

Got me to thinking. It’s not news here that 2023 has started with a rain shortfall. So if you want your lawn green, it’s on you. And that means at least three things:

  1. You need a plan. That may sound like a no brainer, yet somehow the neighbor with the dead grass missed it. How many sprinkler heads, which direction are they covering, when does it come on, how long does it run-the plan can’t miss any details if the yard is going to be HOA prizeworthy.
  2. If you’ve done your job right, you can sleep well. You won’t need to get up every morning at 4 to check it out. It’s like that current TV commercial for tax preparations-“Bring it to us, and don’t water your lawn.”
  3. You cannot assume once it’s working your job is done. Two blocks west from my front door someone has made this assumption. Guess what? Half their water is going into the street. None of the sprinkling shoots out more than three feet. I wonder when’s the last time the system was checked.

These thoughts apply to many areas of life. Marriage. Parenting. Management. Eating. Exercising. Finances. Career. Education. Faith.

How’s your plan?

How’s your sleeping?

How’s your assumptions?

Photo by Mani Sankar on Unsplash

Every Gift Matters

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

This weekend I’ve observed two different scenarios where donation amounts were either given in the moment or were remembered from the past. Both provided an important reminder: Every Gift Matters.

Friday during the match challenge for our nonprofit counseling center’s fundraising luncheon, multiple donation amounts were announced ranging from $20 to $1,500. Bet you can guess which got the loudest applause. The “oo’s” and “ah’s” squinted my face. It’s natural to celebrate the big splash. Yet, who’s to say the $20 donor didn’t make the biggest splash they could.

This morning in his sermon, my pastor shared financial miracles from the church’s six-year history. The range again was wide-$4,000 to $250,000. No “ooing” and “ahing” from the crowd. But he made his point. The amount isn’t the key. It’s the provider of the gift; in the church’s viewpoint, that’s God.

These two moments offer a couple of significant challenges:

  1. Celebrate all the gifts. Behind each one is a person, a person who took a step-a step of sacrifice, of obedience, of community, of love. Every step matters.
  2. God and his child know the sacrificial level. The amount isn’t what pleases God; the sweet aroma that God enjoys is a gift that says, “You own it all. You matter more than everything.”

Photo by Rob Laughter on Unsplash

An Open Letter to 4:30AM Single Mom

/ johngregoryjr / 1 Comment

Dear Single Mom,

It was a significant insignificant comment. And it stuck. Most likely you had no idea. But that’s usually how those go.

In describing your morning routine, you halted then flew by the fact you get up at 4:30 in order to get everyone ready for the day and get to work. As a guy who moans about mornings period, that didn’t go unnoticed. As an adult with no children, that urged my respect. As a bachelor, that forced a pause.

In my opinion, no one in their right mind chooses to get up at 4:30. But you don’t really have a choice. And I’m guessing that’s because if you don’t you might lose your mind. And you nor your children can afford that; at least, that’s what you’re modeling.

I’m guessing if I could ask 16-year-old you what you’d be doing at your age, she wouldn’t say getting up at 4:30 to do “all the things”:

  • Have three minutes to yourself
  • Shower/dress/etc.
  • Check the dryer
  • Check the dishwasher
  • Wake the rest of the house
  • Prepare breakfast/lunch/dinner
  • Sign school stuff
  • Doublecheck everyone’s everything as you walk to the car

And that’s just the physical stuff. Lack of life experience leaves her unable to comprehend the emotional journey she’s going to take between then and now. No matter why you’re single (never married, divorced, separated, widowed), she has no idea the weight on your shoulders, much less your heart. All the emotions I won’t bother to list-generated by your own thoughts and likely magnified by those who should know better-she had no idea they were coming.

Before I share the five things I most want you know, I want you to know that we (dad, mom, siblings, children, neighbors, coworkers, friends) see you. We see your tenacity. We see your fortitude. We see your faithfulness. We see your love. Even though you didn’t choose this place, you are choosing to stay in it. No leaving. No abandoning. No quitting. No resigning.

And all the things we see, God sees. I believe he wants you to know he is pleased with you today and every day.

I close with these final thoughts:

  1. I’m sorry for all the judgment you’ve gotten/get/will get. It’s ugly. And it’s not a gift from God.
  2. I’m sorry your 16-year-old-self’s dreams aren’t reality. Yes, that’s life. But it’s not the vision you had. Yet, God is with you even in the broken dreams.
  3. I’m happy your children have you. You are the mom God intended them to have. He knows that. They know that. We all know that.
  4. I’m grateful for your faith model. Not everyone chooses to keep their faith when their dreams are shattered. Be of good courage. Fear not.
  5. Tomorrow is the next day of the rest of your life. Sure, reconcile with the past. But God has something ahead that only He can give you. Keep getting up. The rest of your life is waiting.

Photo by Benjamin Manley on Unsplash

Celebrating Complexity

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord!

Psalm 139:14 TPT

This is one of those verses where translation matters. And this translation gave me something new to consider.

Most of the other translations read the psalmist declaring he is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” What a head-shaking nuance to consider being made mysteriously complex. And to sound joyous about it.

There’s normally a negative tone when being considered complex. We say it about ourselves to ourselves. We say it about others-well, maybe we just think it.

Whoever we say it to, what if we changed the tone? What if we celebrate instead of bemoan the complexity of how we’re made?

I had to practice this today. I was in a setting where there were open displays of people’s makeup. Bemoaning tried to reign in my head, but it couldn’t stay because of the joy in the room. Why? No one was pointing out flaws, dislikes, or disapproval; no one was bothered by their own or anyone else’s complexities. Like-minded psalmists caught their breath and marveled.

Lord, forgive us when we fail to marvel. May we stay amazed in your mystery.

Photo by ANIRUDH on Unsplash

“No” Can Become a Better “Yes”

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Got a “no” this week. Many times I’m perfectly content with one, even freed. This one…no.

48 hours later I was. How? It started by expressing honest reaction and ended with exploring agreeable alternatives.

Left in react mode, “no” can quickly become divisive, hurtful, accusatory, disappointing, even grudge-building. A pivot to option-seeking tells everyone as bridge-building as possible, “This isn’t over. Game on!”

God gives out “no”s frequently. And unfortunately, his children can stay in react mode far too long. A chasm grows that isn’t beautiful nor life-giving. Noone truly enjoys this season.

Finding ourselves in a God-forsaken chasm doesn’t have to be the end result. In fact, the pursuit to rising out of it could result in a closer relationship yet to be experienced.

This pursuit could start something like this: “I hear your ‘no.’ Can we talk about other options?” This conversation often leaves me in a much better place, chasm closed.

Go ahead. Lower any pride in the way. You might be surprised how much better the resulting “yes” is. So much better.

Making Faith Complete

/ johngregoryjr / 1 Comment

I don’t know that it matters how long someone has been a professing Christian to wonder why you still have thoughts like this one: “Is my faith good enough?” Or maybe, “Am I doing this right?”

I just read a line from a devotional that might help us all, whether you’re fresh in or a long hauler.

Was Abraham’s faith a faith without deeds? No way, says James. Abraham trusted God so much he was willing to sacrifice his son (Genesis 22). His faith was not only a conviction about the existence of God; it was a conviction that was ‘made complete,’ that is, shown to be true faith, by his deeds of devotion. And so was fulfilled the statement of Genesis 15:6, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” To believe in God in the biblical sense, argues James, involves a commitment to action.

James 2, Worldly Favouritism (YouVersion)

99.9% of us will never be asked to carry out Abraham’s test. But if we’re attempting to communicate daily with the Holy Spirit, we are asked to do ordinary faith deeds every day. When we do, our faith is being made complete.

For example…

  • When we hold our tongue from gossiping
  • When we don’t return hate
  • When we respect our elders
  • When we love the unlovely
  • When we are generous with our time
  • When we say yes in spite of our fear or rebellion
  • When we have compassion for a stranger in pain
  • When we weep with those who weep

This list could go on and on. The meaningful and encouraging word from this devotion was that my faith may not be perfect, but that’s not the point. The point is that it’s active.

At the end of each day, may we look back to see where our faith was active and hear a whispered, “In you I am well pleased. Your faith is complete.”

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Where’s the Door?

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Earlier this week I found myself in a place familiar to all of us. I wouldn’t call it buyer’s remorse, not even decision regret. Probably more like, something’s not right, so a step back seems like a good idea.

When we find ourselves in these places, one of the best things we can do is stop talking only to ourselves and divulge our thoughts to someone else. Even if they don’t do anything but listen, we often get some perspective or different focus that uncovers a better viewpoint.

Within 24 hours of doing that, I came to a realization. What was really at play was there wasn’t an issue at all, other than I was looking for a way out. Rather than admit my own sabotaging, I was making a few small things one large thing. And then this thought smacked me in the head…

It’s not hard to find the door in the room.

So many times I’ve tried to leave the room before it was time. If you have that pattern, then you know what it’s like to be looking for the door but not know that you are. And when you’re looking for it, it’s pretty easy to find.

There are quite a few questions we can ask ourselves once we have this awareness. Truth be told, sometimes the right answer is to leave the room. More times than not our timing is off, and there are reasons to stay that we would rather not bother with or tell ourselves we don’t have the energy for. Here are three questions I asked myself this week once I realized I was asking, “Where’s the door?”

Why am I looking for the door? If this isn’t the most important question, it’s got to be pretty close. An honest answer will clarify if the search should continue. My honest answer told me to stop looking.

Who’s in the room? That might seem like an odd question, but it’s founded in the idea of grounding. When we notice the faces of everyone in the room, we are forced to pause and consider what leaving the room means to everyone, not just ourselves. Again, sometimes the person that needs the most consideration in the room is us, but leaving everyone else out of our consideration reveals an issue that most likely has little to do with being in the room with these people.

Why am I here? This question is a perfect follow up to who’s in the room. As we consider everyone in the room, a natural viewpoint to bring clarity is founded in purpose. Several times I knew I was supposed to leave a room even though others in the room disagreed. They believed my purpose wasn’t done, but I knew otherwise. TRUTH: It’s only time to leave when your purpose is done. If your purpose isn’t done, stop looking for the door.

Photo by Dima Pechurin on Unsplash

Weeds in the Shadows

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

In my efforts to look up these days, something caught my eye today as I walked by this church steeple. Do you see it?

Looks like they’ve been growing for a while. Probably hasn’t caught too many people’s eyes…yet. It is on the other side from the road view. And the roofline of the building behind them also keeps them hidden. Do you see them?

My first question was a pretty obvious one: How in the world are those weeds growing there? Something like 30 feet off the ground, on a dirtless structure. Weird.

My next question was more reflective: How many steeples have weeds growing in their shadow that aren’t being addressed? In this case, I’m thinking about all kinds of things.

  • Accountability of leadership
  • Protection for members
  • Factions forming over nonspiritual concerns
  • Workaholic pastors
  • Financial mismanagement
  • Emotional imbalances

Of course, this thought could be asked about all social units, corporations, and communities.

Weeds aren’t hard to identify or address. This requires two basic routines: observant eyes and willing hands.

Observant eyes are aware that weeds grow and aren’t surprised when they see them. Without willing hands to address the weeds, the weeds keep growing, they go unaddressed. Willing hands define those who know that the weeds must be addressed and aren’t afraid to do so, the sooner the better.

Which are you, the observant eyes or the willing hands?

What’s being done about the weeds in the shadows in your family, in your city, in your business, in your church, in your own heart?