Books

Six Steps to Writing Your Laments

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I’m guessing if the majority of us were asked if we had anything to lament over we’d have more than one answer.

  • A relationship
  • Religion
  • Politics
  • Finances
  • Physical aches

I’m guessing if the majority of us were asked if we had a proper approach to lamenting we’d struggle to lay it out. Thankfully, Krispin Mayfield has offered some help.

In his book Attached to God, he gives six steps to writing a lament. Why? When we express our most difficult emotions to God, we draw closer to him. Intimacy with God is found in a balance of praise and lament.

In the tradition of the Psalms, here are Mayfield’s six steps:

  1. Tell God something you wish were different in your own life or the world, such as a health condition, difficult relationship, life stress, poverty, or racism.
  2. Tell God what you feel when you think about this issue; additionally, write down any emotions you might feel considering God’s inaction regarding this issue.
  3. Tell about a time in your own life or someone else’s where God intervened.
  4. Ask God to step in and address this suffering.
  5. Tell God you’re confident that your prayer is heard.
  6. Praise or recognize one of God’s attributes or characteristics, based on your past or present experience.

Sharing some of your uncomfortable emotions with God might feel strange. But you can unlock the basement when you’re assured that both God and your faith tradition can hold the parts of your experience. When you are sad, scared, or angry, your emotions aren’t signs of a lack of faith, but rather evidence that you are exactly where you need to be-at home with a God who is waiting to hear your emotions and give you the reassurance you need. (chapter 8, “From Shutdown to Engaged”)

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

More Than a Guide

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Janet Holm McHenry has breathed life into my prayer life through her book.

I first referenced it in a post last month and took another month to finish it. Like eating red velvet waffles (Yes, that’s a thing. Had them for the first time this week. May I have another, please?), who wants to rush the goodness.

The first three words of the book’s title is true and is achieved, yet I find it to be so much more. If it breathes life into a spiritual discipline, then it’s easily described as life giving, potentially life changing.

The first indicator came from this simple suggestion in the introduction:

I pray for whatever God puts in my eyesight.

Needs some context probably. Janet was describing her shift from having a structured approach to prayer while she walked her neighborhood to praying based on what she believed God was putting in sight in that moment. That computes with “pray without ceasing” in my dictionary. Adoption #1.

I appreciate each chapter’s dedication to one prayer by Jesus. The three that had the most impression to my spirit were chapters nine, twelve, and thirteen.

A love that breeds unity is a subtle form of evangelism…Unity overlooks the faults of others who may not yet be living up to their potential, because unity knows those folks are growing in the right direction. (Chapter 9, “Jesus’ Prayer for the Church”)

Our “why” prayers are not a lack of faith; they are simply a lack of information. (Chapter 12, “Jesus’ Prayer in Abandonment”)

A prayer of submission actually is an act of strength. (Chapter 13, “Jesus’ Prayer of Submission.” She wrote this in reply to quoting Richard Foster: “It is the prayer of relinquishment that moves us from the struggling to the releasing.”)

Adoption #2, having a deeper understanding and awareness of praying for unity

Adoption #3, honoring the heart of anyone’s “why” prayer

Adoption #4, appreciating the movement and strength in submission

Her book is more than a guide. Take a read and see if you agree.

Praise: A Well-Taken Reminder

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For the last three weeks I’ve been focused on a question, a personal spiritual dialogue that I’ve shared with a few others. The question could be stated several ways, but what I’m after is an answer that enriches/refreshes relationship with God. Here are variations of the question:

  • Which is more important, focusing on what God does for us or who He is to us?
  • In my experience in the Church, is the focus on what God does or who He is?
  • What do my prayers reflect, a focus on works or on identity?
  • How do believers achieve balance between doing for and with God versus being with and knowing God?

In ways I’ll never be able to explain, the timeliness of reading the right book at the right time surfaced again this afternoon. I recently picked it up off clearance at Books A Million.

In Chapter 4 entitled “Jesus’ Prayer of Praise,” McHenry shared that Richard Foster says adoration has two forms, praise and thanksgiving. Thanksgiving expresses appreciation for what God has done; praise acknowledges who God is.

This struck me through a simple word-praise. I have been contrasting the words adoration and thanksgiving without thought to the word praise. Accepting this teaching that they are really all the same brings some relief to my analytical brain.

That final question in the list above comes from how I’ve been approaching prayer the last three weeks. I’ve leaned more in the adoring lane than the thanking or asking lane-an effort to discipline my focus on relationship. A reminder to praise is well taken.

By the way, in this chapter McHenry shared a terrific list to help us all improve our adoration. Seemed worth sharing.

Working From not For

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This is my third and final post reflecting on Dutch Sheets’ The Pleasure of His Company. Chapter 29, “The Connection,” was the highlight for me. Maybe because he references Old Testament characters I’ve been reading about the last few weeks. But I’m pretty sure it’s because he drills down on a topic I’ve been chewing on, again, for the last two weeks. What matters more, who you are or what you do?

That’s not really his intention, but that’s where it goes. And, for the record, he doesn’t really give you an answer. Here are my four highlights for illustration:

  • “At times, the most spiritual thing we can do is the most natural and practical. Work is practical yet very spiritual; feeding hungry people is, as well; nurturing our children is practical, time-consuming, tiring-and very spiritual. Keepin’ it simple is sometimes keepin’ it spiritual.”
  • “To be holy doesn’t mean being separate ‘from sin,’ but rather ‘unto God’…Holiness isn’t sinlessness.”
  • “…strength lies not in the perfection of my outward performance but the connection of my inward heart.”
  • “There’s a vast difference between performing for acceptance and performing from acceptance.“

There’s a noticeable difference when a relationship has shifted to from away from for. Sometimes others can see it better than you; sometimes not. If you’re really not sure, the best person to check in with is your Creator. He knows what it means to live from illustrated by instructing Moses to tell everyone, “I AM sent me.”

Go with what He tells you. If He says your offering brings him pleasure, that’s all you need. You’re in good company.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

God’s Nature: Lording or Loving?

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Sheets continues in the next chapter of The Pleasure of His Company to dig into aspects of our relationship with God. He zeros in on a belief that God’s nature is misunderstood. A misunderstanding of God’s nature would certainly explain why worship can lack passion, be endured, or even resisted.

I don’t believe the problem with most believers’ worship is hypocrisy or insincerity. I think the majority is trying to honor God by giving Him His dues and fulfilling their obligation to Him as the Creator. I doubt if most of them understand, or have even heard, that God is a lover as well as a Lord. And it wasn’t his lording nature that prompted him to create us-He could have made a few billions more angels had that been His desire. It was his loving nature. God is a Father at heart.

Chapter 2, “The Seeker”

This morning I got to talk with a guy at church for the first time and found out he works for a local, family-owned business. Between their six locations, they have over 800 employees. Describing being employed there he said, “You work hard, but it’s like family. We have a hard time finding good employees, but we continue to grow and I love working there.”

He’s describing a work place that isn’t only about lording. We all pretty well can tell the difference between lording and loving. If you come from a faith setting that focuses more on a lording view of God’s nature, it’s probably long overdue for your relationship to take a shift and consider his loving nature.

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The Worshiper’s Reward

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Dutch Sheets begins his book The Pleasure of His Company by focusing on God as a Person. From the outset, he emphasizes the opportunity we have to experience intimate relationship with God.

The last paragraph of the chapter focuses on what worship is about from the position of the God being worshipped, in this case through the avenue of singing.

When we worship, He is captivated by the singer, not the song. Our company is what He longs for.

Chapter 1, “The Person”

This is good news for all worshipers. Some worshipers can sing the song flawlessly yet miss the joy of God’s company. Some worshipers have no shot at “being in the pocket” yet enjoy the freedom of God’s presence. Sheets called these worshipers enlightened.

They know that when they approach Him, He responds; and the pleasure of His company becomes their reward. Make it yours.

Photo by Hudson Hintze on Unsplash

Perseverance

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Catching up today on one of my favorite podcasts, Being Known.

It’s season 9. They are reviewing chapters from Curt’s latest book, The Deepest Place to deepen our understanding of suffering and the formation of hope.

I hadn’t finished episode 7 on Perseverance, so that’s where I picked up. It was interesting timing.

I’ll post the video for the entire episode for you to view, but here are the lines that spoke most to me:

When we are willing to persevere, we discover over time that we are becoming something different than who we were…It’s often the case that we are not the first to recognize that…Someone else who’s watched us would say we are not the same person.

I love being able to point this out to my friends. They’ll say something that either shows their growth or reveals they have yet to see it. I try to interject my observation to reinforce the work they’ve done, the change they’ve accomplished, and the encouragement to keep going.

Need a shot of reinforcement? Check out the episode.

Love As Being

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When you lose your ability to care, you lose the thing that makes you human: your heart. –John Sowers, chapter 24 “Love As Being,” Say All the Unspoken Things

At first read, I thought to myself, “I’ve had heartless moments, even a heartless season. How did that happen?”

To be fair to myself, the moments and seasons that come to mind weren’t complete loses of caring. They’re better described as misdirected, distracted, or too much in the weeds that I forgot the big picture. And by big picture, I’m thinking more about all the relationships in a setting versus a select one or two.

So how did that happen?

Selfishness. There was a moment I upstaged some dear friends. I was so caught up in my own story that I lost sight of their story. Thankfully, they didn’t lose their heart.

Demanding Justice. There was a season I was determined to right a wrong. No one asked me to; no one gave me permission. Thankfully, that season came to an end before I lost heart.

Abusing Power. There was a moment I carved a wound with a hasty decision. In that moment, I chose perfection over mercy. Thankfully, that scar reminds me what power can do to my heart.

The chapter title of Sowers’ quote is worth noting. The less I care about doing and more about being the more loving I am.

Thanks for saying the things, John Sowers.

Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

5 Friend Descriptors

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These may be reminders. They may be challengers. They are descriptors John Sowers wrote to his daughters about what it means to be a friend.

  1. Friends help us become who we were born to be.
  2. A friend helps us see ourselves.
  3. Wise people have a small friend circle.
  4. Here’s a friend secret: be a friend initiator.
  5. Here’s another friend secret: be an encourager.

(Chapter 21, Say All the Unspoken Things)

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Becomer’s Whispers

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‭Did something a few weeks ago that I haven’t done in a while. Went to an actual bookstore. It was for work, but how does a reader go in a bookstore and not make a personal purchase?

So on my running trip two weeks ago, one of the books made the trip. I’m 15 chapters in.

Chapter 14 is entitled “Whispers.” This paragraph starter got my attention:

There is a verse in Psalms that says, “God whispers to those who trust him.”

Made me want to look it up. Couldn’t find it. Then I checked the chapter notes.

Psalm 25:14, author’s paraphrase

I respect that.

Next I opened my Bible app to compare various translations of this verse. Here are three that come close to Sowers’ paraphrase:

  • Psalms 25:14 ERV‬
    [14] The Lord tells his secrets to his followers. He teaches them about his agreement.
  • ‭Psalms 25:14 TPT‬
    [14] There’s a private place reserved for the devoted lovers of Yahweh, where they sit near him and receive the revelation-secrets of his promises.
  • ‭Psalms 25:14 MSG‬
    [14] God-friendship is for God-worshipers; They are the ones he confides in.

Chapter 14 is in Part 4 of the book entitled “Becoming.” These verses’ images encourage me to be becoming.