Learning & Growth

Chewing on the Door

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I’ve mentioned that my word for 2025 is REST. To share more, here’s my journal entry from 1-1.

Five years ago I was very focused on the practical rhythm of rest. Nothing wrong with that. It led me to this season.

’25 seems to be a year where I get to focus on the emotional and spiritual reality of rest.

Let things come. Don’t try to build the door. Address the door that opens. Don’t force your way through the door.

Trust Jesus when he said, “I am the door.”

Appreciate what’s at your feet. Running to what you see elsewhere or hoping to find isn’t rest.

The following day I chatted some with my spiritual director about these thoughts. He responded, “Looks like you need to keep chewing.”

In that chewing, I invited some other folks to join me in posting about this “I AM” statement. Tomorrow I’ll share one of those.

I’m still chewing.

Photo by Xiangkun ZHU on Unsplash

The Lord Is My Courage (book review)

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I don’t recall what I thought I was going to get from K.J. Ramsey’s book The Lord Is My Courage. But here’s what I know I got:

  • New Language
  • Deeper Understanding
  • Fresh Appreciation

Ramsey’s approach to this subject is 1/4 part self-therapy, 1/4 part reader-therapy, 1/4 part church culture review, and 1/4 scripture exposition. That’s a lot. For her. And for the reader.

David, who wrote both Psalm 27 and Psalm 23, knew what it was like to have an enemy, knew how it felt to be afraid, and knew how much it hurt to wonder if you are heard.

Chapter 5, “He Makes Me Lie Down”

For this response, I took my time. Like a good meal, it’s better to pace yourself. The two chapters worth savoring the most were Chapters 5 and 20.

Chapter 5 includes nuggets rooted in a distinction of translation. Some scholars prefer a translation of the Greek to read “he settles me down” instead of “he makes me lie down.” Is that a big deal? To K.J., yes. “I thought God was a shepherd who made me lie down.  I needed to encounter God as a shepherd who settled me down.”

These kinds of bites are served throughout the book. The one I enjoyed the most was this one from chapter 20.

In John 16, Jesus is telling us, Peace is found only in my presence. And I will not leave you alone.

And then Jesus says to “take heart,” which can also be translated as “have courage,” telling us that our future is secure because he has already overcome the world.

Fear is just courage’s preamble. When we practice remembering that the Spirit of Christ is our companion, fear simply becomes one more prompt to pay attention to the voice and presence of Love. Fear doesn’t have to be an enemy to conquer. It can be a place to be companioned by Love.

Ramsey definitely follows the theme of the book, folded creatively in each chapter. Here are five illustrations:

  • “Courage is the practice of risking to trust that we have a Good Shepherd who is with us always-no matter what.”
  • “Courage is resisting the hurried pace of modern life and embracing the slower rhythm our bodies need to regulate and rise.”
  • “It takes courage to quit doing things for God to commune with God.”
  • “Courage is choosing to commune with someone who has already chosen to be with us.”
  • “Courage is simply the choice to be found.”

Is this book for you? If you enjoy the Psalms, yes. If you appreciate the integration of scripture and psychology, yes. If you are struggling with current or past church experiences, yes. If you like brain food, yes. If you could use a fresh look at who God is, yes. Chances are, yes.

Lay It Down Day(s)

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In the Christian world, Sunday is a special day. It’s a day set aside for several reasons, depending on which lane of Christianity you’re following. I’ve been pondering this since before my alarm was set to go off this morning. I’m thinking in some ways Sundays aren’t necessarily special. More on that later.

This week had peaks and valleys. If I’m not paying attention, I can relive the valleys to the point the peaks are forgotten. That’s what I was dealing with to start the day-and I wasn’t even out of bed.

Before the alarm sounded, God and I had a talk. (SIDENOTE: A definition for prayer that I read yesterday described prayer as what happens when you pay attention. It’s okay if you stop to chew on that.) In thinking about heading to church this morning, we landed on this mindset: Everything the last six days have offered did not have to dictate how I showed up to this day. In fact, for the day to be what it’s intended, start by laying down whatever isn’t needed for the day.

What did that include?

  • Unresolved conflict
  • Confusion
  • Unanswered questions
  • Unmet expectations
  • Disappointment

To be clear, by laying it down we didn’t say these things don’t matter. Act like the week was just one big peak experience. Nothing truthful about that.

Laying it down meant don’t let it consume this day. If Sunday is going to be what it’s meant to be, I decided I didn’t need to carry those valleys into it. Today didn’t have to be a valley. The valley could have a small peak.

My word for the year is rest. I’m finding more and more that rest is a state of mind. Rest is possible in the valley just as much as it is atop the peak. It has to be chosen. That doesn’t make the valley disappear, nor does it mean the valley magically lights up. It means my body, mind, and spirit don’t have to hurry finding the path out of the valley. Chances are probably greater if I enter the church doors having already laid things down I will receive what God knows I need. I might even be able to help someone else lay something down.

Which leads me back to Sundays being special. Sure, it’s the day of gathering. But imagine if the other six days of the week were considered just as opportunistic. What if every day was a Lay It Down day? What if God and I had a similar talk every morning before standing up for my first step? I’m guessing that paying attention effort would result in more day’s intentions transpiring, valley or peak.

7 Lies Singles Are Tempted to Believe

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During the 2024 holiday season I attended a party where I was the only non-coupled person. I had emotions about it. These emotions aren’t new. They certainly surface more around holidays, which I personally started noticing about seven or eight years ago.

These emotions if left unchecked can lead your mind down all kinds of paths, many which are based off some isolated statement or some cultural bias. Bottom line: You can start believing lies.

Before identifying some of these lies, here are a few facts to let you know you aren’t as alone as you might think.

  • According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 46.4% of adults in the United States are single, which is nearly every other adult aged 18 or older. This includes those who are divorced, widowed, or have never married.
  • In 2023, there were approximately 38.1 million single-person households in the United States. This is an increase from the previous year, when there were 37.89 million single-person households.

Already you can identify some of the lies about being single, right? But let’s name them, if for no other reason but to expose them.

#1 Other: This lie says you are outside the norm. You are other. You do not fit in with everyone else.

#2 Needy: This lie says when you acknowledge the emotions of being single you are immediately classified as needy. You aren’t allowed to feel those things; suppress them and move on.

#3 Unhireable: This lie says that if you want to succeed in your career, it’s impossible as a single person. Hireable people have partners. The best teamplayers are in a relationship.

#4 Second-rate: This lie sounds like #1, but it’s not. It says something is wrong with you. You can’t possibly be top shelf.

#5 Alone: This lie comes from the reality that much of the time you are by yourself. Being by yourself therefore equals being alone. It rejects the idea that having friends or a faith system changes the definition.

#6 Damaged: It’s possible this lie has actually been spoken about/over/to you. It’s sorta like the idea that just because you read something on the internet it must be true.

#7 Unlovable: This lie seems to have its roots in doomsday, what if, cause and effect thinking. If you don’t have someone saying they love you from a romantic relationship, then you aren’t.

Single person, I’m not going to insult your intelligence by stating the truths that dispel these lies. Rather, I’m just going to encourage you to consider what I did on my way home from that party.

Feel the feelings, identify the lies, speak truth over yourself, and make the choice to believe it.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Becoming Rooted (book review)

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Each aging day I’m realizing it’s a fantasy to think there is another human being who thinks and acts exactly like me. Some days I wallow in it. Most days I accept reality.

Example #1: Not all my running friends agree with me about ideal running conditions. Mostly the disagreement is temperature. The longer the run the cooler the preferred temperature (upper 40’s-lower 50’sF). For 4-6 mile runs, just keep it out of the 60’s, please.

Example #2: Even more of my friends don’t view engaging politics and current events how I do. Some would say I need to pick a side or at least stay more informed. I’m pretty adamant that the best approach is meeting in the middle and pursuing unity over division.

As I read Randy Woodley’s Becoming Rooted, I thought about several of my friends. Some would never read this book. Some would thoroughly enjoy it. And there I sit in the middle, perfectly content.

Although it’s designed as 100 meditations to read daily, I chose to read several in a sitting. The meditations are grouped under 10 sections, 10 meditations each. Just a couple of pages, each meditation punches a thought ending with an action step. Thoughtful and practical. Challenging and unifying. Welcoming disagreeing friends into a conversation to remind you that you are connected to each other and therefore rooted to one another.

Woodley sums up his efforts through the meditations with this list of values in the final one:

  • Respect: Respect everyone. Everyone and everything is sacred.
  • Harmony: Seek harmony and cooperation with people and nature.
  • Friendship: Increase the number and depth of your close friends and family.
  • Humor: Laugh at yourself; we are merely human.
  • Equality: Everyone expresses their voice in decisions.
  • Authenticity: Speak from your heart.
  • History: Learn from the past. Live presently by looking back.
  • Balance work and rest: Work hard, but rest well.
  • Generosity: Share what you have with others.
  • Accountability: We are all interconnected. We are all related.

Back to my fantasy, maybe more friends will choose to read this book than I imagine.

Roots

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Roots have been on mind this week. Led me to two interesting exchanges.

Today I was introduced to Safiya Sinclair on an episode of Everything Happens. The episode title, Rewriting Roots, peaked my interest. The question that made me sit up in my chair was, “When did you first know your words were so powerful?”

That question reminded me of another question. In my spiritual direction conversation this week, I was asked something similar. We were discussing purpose and vocational alignment. The question was something like, “What do you look for to let you know you are on the right path?”

Safiya and I were forced to go back in time. The question was about roots. She answered by telling about her mother’s pivotal role in connecting her to poetry = Roots. I answered by sharing about a grounding exercise to write a personal mission statement my first semester in seminary = Roots.

You want to know about someone’s rise to success, to understand what makes them tick? Question them about their roots.

You want to self-assess if you are fulfilling your calling, if you are growing as you wish, if the seeds you’re planting matter? Go back to your roots.

Photo by Zach Reiner on Unsplash

Top 3 2024 Word of the Year Songs

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The first year I chose a word for the year was 2020. It’s an exercise I’ve grown to appreciate. If you have yet to consider it, here are a few blog posts about it:

https://mountainmodernlife.com/word-of-the-year/

https://www.fillingthejars.com/word-for-the-year/

My 2024 word was “courage” for which I created a playlist. At one time the playlist had over 20 songs. Last month as we edged closer to year end, I began deleting songs as a way of keeping focus. And in a fun way, unintentionally, I got down to the top three songs on the list that spoke the most to me along this theme. So I thought I’d share them with you.

To share them, here’s the playlist and videos of each song. Take Courage!

Think Ahead (book review)

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Books aren’t like movies. Some movies you can watch over and over (at the top of my list, Moneyball). There are few books I’ve read that I thought to myself, “I would read this over and over.” Actually, outside of The Bible, I’ve only said that about a couple of books.

ALERT: Craig Groeschel‘s latest book Think Ahead makes the list.

What constitutes a book being re-readable? Well, compare that to the benefits of regular exercise. You do it because it’s good for you-you need it to improve your quality of life.

There you go. I believe there are books worth reading more than once because they improve quality of life. That’s the top criteria.

Similarly like regular exercise, there are books that reading it once isn’t enough. Going to the gym only on January 1st annually isn’t enough. There must be multiple visits. Only once doesn’t cut it. Some books have the level of content that you know when you read it, “I’m going to need this again down the road.”

To be honest, the big idea of Think Ahead comes pretty naturally to me. That idea is the power of pre-deciding. In his epilogue, Groeschel says this about that power:

  • Pre-deciding reduces the number of decisions to make.
  • Pre-deciding reduces the fear of deciding wrong.
  • Pre-deciding prevents emotion from taking over.

Whether pre-deciding is a natural way of living for you or not, here’s the deal: no one is perfect. Decision-making can become overwhelming in unforeseen circumstances. Some decisions are harder than others urging paralyzing fear. In either of these scenarios, emotions can lead us astray.

After one read in 2024, I’m pretty sure Think Ahead deserves a second read. And if it is going to improve my life quality, I guess I’m pre-deciding-Think Ahead is on the list to read for 2025.

2024 Library

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For a seventh year I have followed a self-developed reading strategy with the objective to read broader. The goal: read books falling under diverse headings. This strategy is still working for me, another rich year of reading.

For the curious, here is the library of 19 books including avenue of reading:

  • A Trip Around the Sun by Mark Batterson and Richard Foth (hoopla)
  • Against Empathy by Paul Bloom (hoopla)
  • And There Was Light by Jacques Lusseyran (hoopla audio)…most thought-provoking book on the list
  • Attached to God by Krispin Mayfield (hoopla)…my favorite book on the list
  • Awe by Paul David Tripp (hoopla)…9th annual read
  • The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus by Janet Holm McHenry (hard copy)…most compelling book on the list
  • Creation Regained by Albert M. Wolters (hoopla)
  • From the Mouth of Dogs by B.J. Hollars (hard copy)…most engaging book on the list
  • Greetings from Duluth by B.J. Hollars (hoopla)
  • Humble Inquiry by Edgar Schein (hoopla)
  • The Last Exchange by Charles Martin (hoopla)
  • Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen (hoopla)
  • The Pleasure of His Company by Dutch Sheets (hard copy)
  • Sacred Scars by Michelle Bengtson (hoopla)
  • Say All the Unspoken Things by John Sowers (hard copy)…the best big idea book on the list
  • The Shift by Colby Martin (hoopla)
  • Think Ahead by Craig Groeschel (hoopla)…most helpful book on the list, under consideration as an annual read
  • Unclobbered by Colby Martin (hoopla)
  • What Aging Men Want by John C. Robinson (hoopla)…most practical book on the list

NOTE: If you’re not familiar with hoopla, check it out: https://www.hoopladigital.com/

Photo by Maël BALLAND on Unsplash

And There Was Light (book review)

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Last year I came across Jacques Lusseyran’s story by reading a collection of his essays. Before I left on my Christmas road trip last week while looking for an audio book to listen to, I was thrilled to find Lusseyran’s memoir, And There Was Light. What a story to listen to during this season of the year!

In my 2024 Library posting that you’ll find tomorrow, I’ve called this book the most thought-provoking book I read this year. Here are five reasons:

  • Lusseyran convinces you he can see light despite being blind
  • Lusseyran and his young friends lead a significant Nazi resistance in France
  • Lusseyran shows you the power of words, both spoken and written
  • Lusseyran reminds you of the strength of the human spirit whose foundation is faith in God
  • Lusseyran proves odds can be broken

There are so many quotes worth noting from this memoir. That’s one downfall to listening to it-unable to highlight them. However, I’d encourage you to listen to it rather than read it. Andre Gregory’s narration draws you into the world of a blind child who grows into a hero, a choice he made so all would be drawn to the light.

If you are a lover of history, check out this book.

If you enjoy World War II stories, check out this book.

If you are clueless like I was about the French resistance, check out this book.

If you wish to better understand the world of the blind, check out this book.

If you wish to shine light into the dark, check out this book.