Comparing

An Open Letter to the Walker with the Cane

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We first met at the north end of the G.T. Bray baseball field’s parking lot. It was still dark, around 6:30 this morning. We greeted each other as I ran by, probably both assuming that was “one and done.”

After I finished my loop of the south end of the softball fields, I passed you again less than 10 minutes later as we headed to the east entrance of the park. We didn’t speak.

Another 20 minutes had passed when I came upon you again, this time not too far south from our first passing. You had made the entire loop, and I was circling back to leave the park by the west entrance.

As I got closer to you, you moved to your right, sensing someone coming. I thought to myself, “Good for him for keeping a steady pace. It can’t be easy to convince yourself to do another loop when you’re walking a slow pace using a cane.”

As I ran by this third time, we both spoke. I started first.

“Have a good day!”

In almost the same moment you said, “You’re making me feel bad.”

In the moment, I knew what you meant. My quick reply was a feeble effort to encourage you. “You’re doing great!”

Unfortunately, I never got a good look at you. The first passing was in the dark; the other two, I came from behind. Other than you had on a yellow shirt and sporting a head bandana, all I could tell was you were out for an early morning walk through the park, moving at a respectable pace for someone depending on a cane for support.

Had I not been on a tight schedule, I would have stopped to learn more. Have you been injured recently? Did you have surgery and now in rehab? Is this a lifelong challenge for you or just a temporary season of healing? I don’t know. But let me tell you four things I do know.

During my hour-long run, I passed a total of seven other people. Everyone else was walking, with the exception of the lady we both passed sitting on the park bench by the soccer fields. You were one of seven folks up and at it this morning. Whatever it took for you to get up and to the park and on the trail, you outdid thousands of others. That’s something to feel good about.

As for those other walkers, no one else was reliant on a cane. You didn’t let your dependence stigmatize you. You didn’t allow it to be an excuse. You had the determination to do the best you could in your current situation. That’s something to feel good about.

Another reply to your comment that I said to myself on my final half mile was, “Dude. You’re aren’t six feed under. You are not in bed. You are up and moving.” I don’t know what it took for you to be moving that early, but that’s something to feel good about.

The final thing I know is something I’ve told myself many times during runs and especially during races. Whatever someone else is doing that I’m tempted to compare myself to-pace, distance, etc.-it isn’t about what they are doing. It’s about what I’m doing. I know what it took to get to the start line. I’ve got an idea what it’s going to take to cross the finish line. I’m going to stick to what I’m doing. Good on them for what they’re doing.

My guess is you did at least two loops around the park this morning. You started before the sun rose. You did it alone. And you got it done. You, walking with a cane, did more than the average well-bodied person will do today. That’s something to feel good about.

Based on how your started it, odds are the rest of your day was good. Here’s to seeing you in the park again on another good day!

Photo by david Griffiths on Unsplash

NO ONE Gets There ALONE (book review)

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What a nice surprise this book by Dr. Rob Bell was. While checking out a recommended book on Amazon, his book popped up also. Not familiar with him, I was intrigued by the title. Knowing I have a commitment to reading a few coaching books this year, I went ahead and purchased it. Here are some quotes to illustrate why you could consider doing the same:

  • Everyone is an athlete; our office is just different. Some of us are corporate athletes, sales athletes, or entrepreneur athletes. Being an athlete is an attitude and awareness. It means looking through our own lens of life as an athlete.     
  • True competition is me vs. me.
  • Comparison is the thief of joy.   
  • When we focus on the differences between us, we are in comparison mode, believing we are better than or less than someone else.   
  • Talk about all stressful situations in non-stressful environments.   
  • When we are not all-in, we are just in the way.   
  • The chicken is invested in breakfast by supplying the eggs, but the pig is fully committed by providing the ham or bacon.   
  • Complaining is the first small sign of giving up.   
  • There are two types of pain, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

You can read this book because you are a coach. You could read this book because you need a coach. Or you could read this book to explore why you should consider being coached. 

For example, Dr. Bell’s section on faith may help you explore yours in a new way. And his approach to mental toughness is encouraging and tool-giving to all readers, regardless of your reading agenda. My personal best takeaway of the entire book was the section entitled “Focus on the Similarities, not the Differences.”

You’ll have takeaways from this easily digestible book. Give it a look and improve how you are getting there.

Fruity Fridays: 3 Steps to Goodness

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(A series about the Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5)

post by Eric Vorhies

If kindness is the way we act toward others, then goodness is just the way we act regardless of the presence of other people. But like kindness, for me, the struggle is real.

I know what it looks like though. We all have that one friend that would totally shock us if he/she did anything wrong — I’m looking at you, Jacob Zerkle. And, just in case you don’t, you might be that friend…or you might be really bad at choosing friends.
Frankly, I don’t know how Jacob does it. It is as if bad, mean, hateful, or selfish thoughts don’t cross his mind. But with me, horrible and nasty thoughts pop up so fast that I have to play a type of mental whack-a-mole to avoid utterly destroying my life. So, today, I want to share how I battle to be good. (Spoiler Alert: it’s by the Holy Spirit)
Okay, we have established that I have many thoughts that directly conflict with my relationship with God and my sense of morality. But as I reflect how I have changed over the years, I can narrow it done to three concepts that I believe are rooted in Scripture.
1. Take Every Thought Captive
The nature of a thought is that it is a thought. That’s it. But what we do with that thought is important. During the sermon on the mount, Jesus starts each topic with a law regarding an action, such as “do not commit adultery.” Then he called out our thoughts by letting us know that even lusting after someone is the same. In James, it says that “each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin…” Be aware — having a thought is not wrong. What we do with it is where we can cross the line.
The remedy – “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Have a thought, give it to God. Ask Him to get rid of it. Ask Him where it came from. Ask Him what you should have been thinking. He will reveal to you what you need to hear. And over time (as long as you keep this discipline), those stupid thoughts will become fewer and your thoughts will be more in tune with the thoughts of God.
2. Stop Comparing
Look, let’s be honest, we all know someone who is a better Christian than you…and me. And that’s OK. There will always be someone better…there will always be someone worse. But goodness in your walk with Christ has nothing to do with the goodness you have or don’t have. Phil. 3:16  — “In any case, we should live up to whatever truth we have attained.” When you look around and see people are better at “being” Christians, don’t beat yourself up. Also, when you see people who are worse at it, don’t pat yourself on your back. Stop comparing with others.
The only comparison that needs to be made is the one between what you know you should do and what you actually did.
Think about that for a second.
It’s like exercising. You add weight and intensity based on where you are. You are able to achieve things that are actually obtainable. You are about to grow. More importantly, your relationship with Christ becomes more focused on your relationship with Christ and not others’ relationship with Him.
3. Grow
Lastly, never stop improving. Let’s stick to the exercise comparison. If you go to a gym for three years and can’t lift any more than what you did at the beginning, then what’s the point? Don’t we want a stronger relationship with Christ? A more meaningful and deeper relationship? Then never stop growing.
Eph. 4:15 — “But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head — Christ.”
Goodness isn’t something we have. It is something that God is. And through the Holy Spirit, we can grow in it…we can grow closer to God.