An Open Letter to 22E Dad on Southwest Flight 1477

I had decided for this flight I wanted an aisle seat.  Seat 22D by you and your wife was the first one I came to, so I took it.  Immediately I wondered if I’d made a bad choice. 

You even gave me a “Are you sure” look.  I failed to consider what may transpire during the 2hr 45m flight with your child you were holding.  But I decided to embrace it and build a connection. 

“First flight?”

“Yeah.  He’s three months old.”

“Congratulations!  First child?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a big deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

That 18-word interchange said a lot.  The smile on your face and the light in your eyes said more.  But you had much more to say without words the rest of the flight.

To start the flight, “Junior” (I never asked you his name) was asleep.  The sharp tone of the captain’s voice changed that.  It wasn’t long before he started letting you know it was diaper time.  Your wife wondered which restroom had a changing table.  Not only did you get the answer from the attendant-you did the deed yourself.

While you and Junior were gone, your wife got his mid-flight bottle ready, which he seemed to expect the second you returned.  Without hesitation, you took the bottle and met his expectation.  Then you burped him.  Then you rocked him in various ways until he checked back in to dreamland.

Back in dreamland

Dad, I don’t fly a lot-two or three times a year.  And I can’t say I’ve ever sat beside a couple with a baby.  So the sample size is small.  But I’m going to go out on a limb and say, “You’re not normal.”  I would say, “Think about it,” but the proof says you already did.

You intentionally sat in the middle seat, which put you on bathroom duty and gave your wife as much privacy as possible.  You did these things all without a spirit of having lost a bet or it was “your turn.”

Dad, I’d like to think I’m wrong, but I’m guessing the reason this is noteworthy to me is I don’t believe the average dad thinks ahead like that. And even if they do, I’m also going to guess the joy you had isn’t the emotion the average dad would have knowing diaper and bottle duty is part of the flight plan.

This is what your actions said to me. More importantly to be considered is what your actions said to your wife and your son. Dad, I congratulate you even more for how you are starting your fathering and husbandry journey. Sure, not every plane ride will go this well. There will plenty husband/father rides that you’ll be tempted to be average, maybe even below average. On those days, pause to look back on this one. Remember the honor you gave, the love you expressed, and the joy you received in return. My guess is you have an above average dad. For everyone’s sake, but especially your family’s generations to come after “Junior,” keep up this great start and may other dads follow your lead.

P.S. Thank you for making 22D an above average choice.

Tucson Reflection #1

I’m 53.   That means I’m in the generation between the Boomers and the Millennials.  I find that space an important one.

Each generation plays an important role in passing along knowledge, values, beliefs, worldviews, etc.  In a best case scenario, that happens in homes and offices.  If you’re a Boomer, born between 1946-1964, chances are this happened fairly seamlessly for you.  That means your parents and bosses did their job.

As a Gen-X, born in 1968, I’ve noticed a breakdown.  Whether it happened in Boomer land or my land, the seamless passing along of life’s need-to-knows is no longer a given.  Why do I say this?  Because we’re all saying it.

One way I hear and observe this is the rejection of Millennials (born between 1981-1996) by Boomers and vice versa.  Why? Bunch of reasons. Tom Gimbel wrote this explanation:

Many baby boomers see millennials as impatient, unprofessional, and lazy, while millennials may see baby boomers as unapproachable or old-school. 

https://fortune.com/2017/04/01/leadership-career-advice-millennials-conflict-feud-mentorship/

These insights are barriers-barriers that can be overcome. One overcoming suggestion Gimbel mentions is the importance of setting success expectations. On this suggestion, I’d like to point something out to the Boomers. Root for the Millennials in your world. They may not do things like you, and that’s actually a pretty good reason to cheer them on.

While in Tucson for three nights recently, I watched one Millennial virtually and one in person doing some incredible work. And I thought to myself, I wonder how they are being treated by the Boomers in their world.

The first one was Tommee Profitt. A friend posted a video on Facebook from Profitt’s 2020 Christmas album. I hadn’t listened to the entire album, so I took the time one evening to listen on YouTube. Wow! What an inspiration. I hadn’t really paid attention to Profitt before this hearing, so I did the Google thing. As I read comments about his work, mostly moving and affirming, an occasional statement surfaced stating “he’s not for everyone.” I see that. But what gifts he is giving to the world. Those gifts are “thanksworthy,” from all generations.

That was Saturday night. The next morning I accepted a new acquaintance’s invitation to his church, Saint Philip’s in the Hills. Pleasantly, although the majority of attenders were older than me, there was a youthful presence on the stage. Most speakers in the service appeared to be younger than me. But the one who grabbed my attention was the Rector, Reverend Hendrickson. His reflection was memorable, relatable, engaging, and thought provoking. And the spirit in the room was supportive, celebrative, communal, unified, and worshipful. It appeared the Boomers in this church knew how to root for the Millennials.

On behalf of all generations, thank you, Tucson! You are living proof generations can thrive together!