Becoming Rooted (book review)

Each aging day I’m realizing it’s a fantasy to think there is another human being who thinks and acts exactly like me. Some days I wallow in it. Most days I accept reality.

Example #1: Not all my running friends agree with me about ideal running conditions. Mostly the disagreement is temperature. The longer the run the cooler the preferred temperature (upper 40’s-lower 50’sF). For 4-6 mile runs, just keep it out of the 60’s, please.

Example #2: Even more of my friends don’t view engaging politics and current events how I do. Some would say I need to pick a side or at least stay more informed. I’m pretty adamant that the best approach is meeting in the middle and pursuing unity over division.

As I read Randy Woodley’s Becoming Rooted, I thought about several of my friends. Some would never read this book. Some would thoroughly enjoy it. And there I sit in the middle, perfectly content.

Although it’s designed as 100 meditations to read daily, I chose to read several in a sitting. The meditations are grouped under 10 sections, 10 meditations each. Just a couple of pages, each meditation punches a thought ending with an action step. Thoughtful and practical. Challenging and unifying. Welcoming disagreeing friends into a conversation to remind you that you are connected to each other and therefore rooted to one another.

Woodley sums up his efforts through the meditations with this list of values in the final one:

  • Respect: Respect everyone. Everyone and everything is sacred.
  • Harmony: Seek harmony and cooperation with people and nature.
  • Friendship: Increase the number and depth of your close friends and family.
  • Humor: Laugh at yourself; we are merely human.
  • Equality: Everyone expresses their voice in decisions.
  • Authenticity: Speak from your heart.
  • History: Learn from the past. Live presently by looking back.
  • Balance work and rest: Work hard, but rest well.
  • Generosity: Share what you have with others.
  • Accountability: We are all interconnected. We are all related.

Back to my fantasy, maybe more friends will choose to read this book than I imagine.

Honoring Tiny Achievements

Along with back to blogging, I’ve renewed listening to podcast episodes. If I were so inclined, I’d post on a regular basis responses to these episodes. But rather than burden myself with that task, I most often choose to point you to them. But not this time. This episode is too rich. Here’s the first of three responses to a timely episode of Everything Happens.

In Kate‘s conversation with Parker Palmer entitled Standing in the Gap, he shares a twist on journaling worth exploring. Rather than narrow it down, here’s the portion of the transcript for you to hear Parker’s description:

I was talking with this therapist who said, what I want you to do in the midst of this despair you have about being nothing and nobody and of no use, a worm, I want you to start keeping a journal. And I just, you know, drew whatever energy I could and did the fair imitation of a depressed blow up which isn’t a real blow up because you just don’t have the energy for a real blow up. But I said, are you out of your mind? I can’t write a sentence. I can’t read a page. I get lost in the very act of trying to articulate a thought or absorb it sort from the outside. He said, well, I’m not talking about a lengthy discursive journal. I’m talking about a journal of tiny achievements. And I said, what does that mean? And he said, well, for example, you told me that you were finally able to get up at 10:30 this morning, having spent most of the night and morning just in a darkened bedroom hiding under the covers. He says, write that down in the journal. You also you also told me that today you were able to get out on your bike, which is your preferred mode of exercise, because you don’t have to talk to anybody when you’re on a bike. And in this state, you’re incapable of even a simple conversation with a neighbor. You were able to ride your bike for ten minutes. Write it down. Tomorrow, start a new page with a new date. What you’re going to find, if you are faithful to this simple, this journal of tiny achievements, you’re going to find that you’re getting up a little earlier from time to time. You’re going to find that you’re riding your bike a little longer from time to time. The day’s going to come when things are going to start feeling a little more normal from time to time. The pattern of depression is sawtooth. It’s sometimes better, sometimes worse, day in and day out. Now, I was a guy for whom an achievement was writing a new book, selling 100,000 copies, getting great reviews, being invited to give talks and workshops all over the country. That’s how I spent 40 plus years of my life. These didn’t seem like achievements at all. But I today, to this day, in good mental health and in times when things are a little dark, I have recalibrated my sense of what an achievement is, and I embrace myself over much smaller achievements. And at age 85, when I probably don’t have another book in me and I don’t have a lot of post-COVID travel in me, this is probably as important as it was to honor my tiny achievements as it was when I was in deep depression. It’s a tool. And for me, it worked.

Parker has journeyed through several bouts of clinical depression. This suggestion from his therapist has turned into a life-changing, long-lasting practice. He called it a tool. That it is.

I’d also call it a blessing. Why? My last conversation with my spiritual director resulted in my awareness of needing to revive a gratitude exercise I’d abandoned. It’s a tool that helps keep me focused on the best things. It’s grounding. That’s a blessing. I imagine acknowledging tiny achievements also a blessing. Often times, my statements of gratitude seem tiny as well. But boy do they offer recalibration. Seriously, sometimes it’s good to just be grateful for toothpaste and soap. Tiny things usher in humility.

Thank you, Parker Palmer, for encouraging me to not only be grateful for tiny things, but to also honor tiny achievements.

So here we go from the first half of my Sunday:

  • Stopping to get gas before the light came on
  • Retrieving a shopping cart out of the Winn Dixie parking lot bushes so the buggy guy had one less to corral
  • Saving over 30% on groceries (A big shoutout to the inventor of BOGOs…huge achievement)
  • Out of bed after the first alarm…no snooze button today
  • Posting for a second day in a row
  • Not giving in to the temptation to respond to divisive Facebook posts

I encourage you to utilize Parker’s tool before the end of the day. May you find value and peace in your honoring.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Better Than Most

Yesterday through a podcast episode I was reminded of the value of gratitude, even more so the importance of writing it down.

When I woke up this morning, I had a WhatsApp message from a pastor in Egypt sharing an update and requesting prayer. I met him in 2018 on a couple of trips to Jordan. Anytime I hear from those Jordanian contacts I’m reminded of the differences in our worlds. West vs. Middle East. Levels of freedom, finances, housing, opportunities, health services-basically every facet of life.

As I prayed for him I was convicted of taking for granted these life blessings that are better than most people in the world. So I followed through with the prompting to write down what I’m grateful for, but I did it differently than before. I made a list of sentences that had a fill-in-the-blank. The sentence was, “My                     is better than most.” Got a little more real, more thankful, more humbling, more worshipful.

Here are some of my sentences:

  • My finances are better than most
  • My health is better than most
  • My home is better than most
  • My security is better than most
  • My freedom is better than most
  • My future is better than most
  • My family is better than most

What words would you use to fill in the blank? How blessed are you better than most?

(Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash)

Fruity Fridays: We All Struggle with Something

(A series about the Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5)

post by Jeremy Nixon

The last fruit of the Spirit is self-control. You know the old saying…”we saved the best for last?” Well this one is a doozy. To me, it’s the hardest fruit to attain. I say that only because I’m lacking the most in self-control. I’m a bit on the unhealthy side when it comes to weight, and the hardest thing for me to do is stop eating. Especially if it’s good, and believe me, in Arkansas, it’s all good! 

Many people may think the same way, but the deal is…I think we all struggle with something. Everybody has a vice…it may be ice cream, buying stuff, spending too much money or insert yours here, etc. Whatever it may be, there is good news: Paul tells us in Galatians that we can be free!!! Matter of fact, Paul urges us to choose this freedom that’s found in Christ instead of being enslaved. (I think he knows a thing or two about that.)

The very definition of self-control is this: the ability to control oneself. But for Christians it is much more than that. For us it means to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions. Basically, behavior that doesn’t please God and allowing things to be so important to you that they make you sinful or participate in sinful behavior is the very thing we have to stay away from. That’s self-control, and we don’t have to do it alone. Paul says that when the Holy Spirit is living in us God will help to maintain self-control.  

Self-Control is throughout the whole Bible. God is pretty serious when it comes to self-control. In Paul’s letter, Titus 2, the word self-control comes up several times and speaks to everyone young and old to have self-control in order for others to experience the love and salvation of the Lord. Another story: Jesus painted the picture of self-control when he rejected Satan’s temptations for 40 days. Jesus chose to honor God instead of giving in to Satan. We too have the same power through the Holy Spirit to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions.   

So what is self-control to you? What is your struggle? When are you most tempted to lose self-control? These are great questions to ask yourself so that when you are tempted, you can seek God for help…because God WILL help you maintain self-control.

The fruit of the Spirit study has been good for me. It has caused me to stop and think more about these fruits and see how God can use me. It has brought light to areas of my life that need improvement, and I hope it’s done the same for you. The truth is this: all Christians, we, should grow the fruit of the Spirit; the more we are nurtured and empowered by the Holy Spirit…our fruit grows. The first blog was about getting dirty, and sometimes we have to get dirty to produce fruit; but when it comes to self-control we have to ask for help. Christ wants us to be free! Stand firm. Produce fruit. Love God. Love people. When you are doing these, your fruits are blooming and God is being honored.

Protecting Your Bones (Psalm 32)

There are definitely times when we need to be still and silent before God. None of those times are when there is known sin separating us from Him. David says when he didn’t acknowledge his sin to God it impacted his body-“my bones wasted away.” Not good.

In our efforts to be healthy, we usually address diet and exercise. That entails being honest with our doctors or trainers about our choices which may be leading us away from good health. When we come clean, we show we are serious about getting healthier. David’s response to realizing his silence was not good was to “make a clean breast of my failures to God.”(verse 5, the Message)

We can’t ignore the truth that silence about our sins creates self-inflicted pain. If we want to protect our bones, our first step is to not be stubborn mules but to be honest confessors.(verses 9-11)

The Emotionally Healthy Leader: Suggested Reading

Most likely, you haven’t read a leadership book like Peter Scazzero’s. That should tell you something.

Most likely, you haven’t considered how keeping Sabbath could make you a healthier leader. That should tell you something.

Most likely, you’ve never been told to “face your shadow.” That should tell you something.

Most likely, you’ve not fully considered how to lead out of your marriage or singleness. That should tell you something.

Most likely, you think this book isn’t for you. That should tell you something.