My natural mindset nurtured by my upbringing has led me to a lot of work regarding moving away from black and white thinking. Always a work in progress.

My more natural gray-thinking friends and colleagues have been tremendous partners in my growth. But recently, I’ve determined there is another realization to my growth that I’ve never considered.

Here it is: Regardless of whether one thinks naturally black & white or gray, a lack of openness toward the inner work required for growth potentially creates ruptures.

Here’s how Dr. Dena Dinardo explains it:

Explore the value of gray thinking

The final step to managing binary thinking is opening up to the shades in between – the nuance, the uncertainty, the possibility. This is where real growth happens. 

Challenging black and white thoughts and exploring gray thinking (the in-between) allows us to see situations from new angles, which doesn’t just change how we think, but also how we feel and respond. In relationships, this opens the door to deeper understanding, repair, and connection.

This kind of inner work can be difficult to do alone. If you find yourself struggling, consider working with a therapist who can help you develop more flexible and compassionate ways of thinking and relating.

I’m tempted to walk away from relationships lacking mutual desire for growth, willingness to do the work. These are the Neithers. The pain and suffering surrounding Neithers slowly, both physically and/or emotionally, pushes away those working to grow.

May we all embrace our inner work in order to embrace one another…to open the door to deeper…to possibilities otherwise left unknown.

Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash