Kids Know More About Joy

Got to spend five hours with lovely Emerlyn on Tuesday. The featured picture is us reading together-her attempt to stay occupied and avoid napping. It worked.

On my drive the next morning, I heard this exchange between Kate Bowler and guest Nikki Grimes on “Everything Happens“:

Kate: Yeah, Nikki, I feel like I could hear your heartbeat when you talk about joy. It really sustains you. Do you think kids know more about joy than other people? Because I have this sense about the way that it’s connected to noticing and gratitude and hope and delight. Like these are all things kids are particularly good at. I just wonder if some of that—the particularity of kids’ ability to notice and be grateful and to be in the details—makes them maybe more… I think so.

Nikki: Oh, they really can hone in on things in a way that we don’t. If you really want to see something or you want to see it a new way, look through a child’s eyes. They’re always noticing things that adults miss.

Emerlyn is a noticer. A busy railroad track lies earshot from her Rara’s and Pop’s home. Each time the passing trains “chooed,” her head would shoot up, eyes would widen as she echoed, “Choo!”

So yes, Kate, kids are better at joy than their adult people. They don’t seem to know not to be. Everything hasn’t been normalized or discounted or experienced. As Emerlyn’s Rara described, she lives in awe and wonder.

On this Thanksgiving day, find the youngest person you can and spend more time with them than you planned. Tap into joy. Notice along with them.

May gratitude, hope, and delight reign your day.

John Williams: Joy Producer

As a new Disney+ subscriber, I’m a happy customer, if for no reason to have come across “Music by John Williams.”

Having no knowledge of his background, I now have a deeper respect for his journey and admiration for his dedication to his craft.

The breadth of his work is remarkable, but the volume of it is astounding. It’s almost like he cannot not produce. He states in one clip, “I write music every morning,” almost like, “I have a cup of coffee every morning.” It’s just what he does.

One of life’s pleasures is watching people who love what they do. In all the clips in this documentary, only once did he voice any noticeable frustration, and that was only because he was struggling to find the direction for this complex segment in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

How has he done it? How does he continue to do it in his 90s?

Many answers would all probably be accurate. From watching this film, the one word that answers it for me is joy.

His dedication = rooted in joy

His work ethic = rooted in joy

His varied interests = rooted in joy

His resiliency = rooted in joy

His longevity = rooted in joy

Maybe that’s why the world knows his name, loves his music, and celebrates his heart.

Need some joy? Watch this film-a celebration of producing joy.

Lunch was Joyful

I had a four-hour drive yesterday. Lots of podcast listening.

One episode shared this quote about joy from an author new to me.

Joy is the experience of being with someone who is glad to be with you. –James Wilder

It resonated with me because of my lunch encounter Thursday. I used the word joy to describe it, believe it or not.

I left the office around 1:30 not sure where lunch would find me. Turning left on Bee Ridge, it hit me. I wasn’t in a hurry, and I felt a little celebratory. I knew where to go.

Focaccia Sandwich and Bakery!

From the minute I walked in until I left, my heart was full. Besides the fact that Nick makes great food (the sandwich in the photo was the best yet), the shop exudes life. And joy is a perfect descriptor.

So why do I say Wilder’s quote applies to Nick, the owner?

Reason #1: Nick remembers everyone’s name. He makes you feel like he made that sandwich just for you. And when I say made, I mean the recipe, the presentation, the ingredients-the whole process. He wants his food to bring you joy. He’s glad you are there.

Reason #2: Nick works with joy. I’ve yet to see him have any look on his face but a mixture of pleasure, contentment, and happiness. His shop is just eight months old and has every sign of being around a long time. People want to be around joy.

I say thanks to Nick and all those in my life who bring joy. Who are those people in your life? Return the joy. Let them know you are grateful.

Putting Ourselves in the Center

My annual reading of AWE by Paul David Tripp last month was timely. It also was impacted by growth in the last 12 months. I read through a different lens. Result: I continue to appreciate the big idea that checking our awe is valuable.

The first quote that stood out to me in this reading was from chapter 4, “Replacement”:

When we put ourselves in the center of the story, not only do we become rebels against God, we become a danger to ourselves and others.

Is putting ourselves in the center of the story a battle? For everyone. Is the thought that this means rebelling against God and endangering everyone mainstream? Nope. Maybe that’s why everyone battles it.

We don’t have to agree with Tripp. What we can do is challenge our mind and spirit to check our heart when we find ourselves in the center of the story. Is God on my heart’s throne right now? Are any relationships struggling right now? How is my joy and rest?

The second quote that stood out was from chapter 13, “Work”:

If you look to achievement to feel good about your life, to feel secure, or to have a life of meaning and purpose, then you will be dissatisfied with today’s success.

This sounds familiar (check out this post). The buzz of achievement dies. That buzz will not be satisfied by another achievement. Funny how my achievement also puts me in the center of the story.

When we find ourselves in the center of today’s story looking for the next buzz, it’s time for an awe check.

Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

Five Questions To Nurture Culture

Today I was honored to be interviewed by leaders from one of our nonprofit partnering agencies. After answering the list of questions, I was asked if I had anything else to share. Here’s what I said:

The one thing I’d like to comment on is the culture of your organization. There are many words-all good-that come to mind. First, your team is united. You are all on the same page and seem to enjoy working together. Two other words that come to mind are passionate and caring. You deeply go after your mission, and your clients feel cared for. This was clear at your last event. But the word that most describes your culture is joy. It’s always present. It’s felt. Whoever’s responsible for maintaining this culture, they are doing a great job.

Culture has been on my mind the rest of the day. Every organization has a culture. There are many questions to make sure it’s the culture you want to experience and to display. If you have any part of creating that culture, consider the answers to these five questions:

  • What is the culture we aspire to maintain?
  • Is that the culture we have?
  • How do the employees know about this aspiration?
  • Who are the keepers of the culture?
  • When and how do we evaluate the culture?

Start here. Be willing to add to it. Watch what happens when you nurture culture.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

The Rich Ones

Letting go is a skill. It could also be called a discipline. It also seems the more one practices it the richer they become.

Letting go of regret increases grace.

Letting go of anger increases peace.

Letting go of pride increases humility.

Letting go of worry increases trust.

Letting go of what could have been improves vision.

Letting go of unmet expectations increases mercy.

Letting go of control increases faith.

Letting go of disappointment increases joy.

Those who know how to let go or at least are growing in this skill and discipline are growing in their wealth.

They are the rich ones.

Photo by Максим Степаненко on Unsplash

There’s a Reason They’re Called Sweet

We all have them. Some have many, or at least they’re told. Some are told they don’t have any, but they know that’s a lie. We all know that lie.

They are those things or moments that are unexplainably easy. Mostly likely, they also bring a sense of unmatched joy and satisfaction.

See if you recognize any of these:

  • Creating a spreadsheet for a new project
  • Hosting a baby shower
  • Coaching your child’s sport’s team
  • Baking for your new neighbor
  • Sitting with the elderly
  • Leading a volunteer team
  • Organizing the family vacation
  • Being on stage
  • Analyzing data
  • Writing thank you notes
  • Grilling for the July 4th block party
  • Sketching what you see at the beach
  • Laying out a floor plan
  • Onboarding new personnel

It’s that thing that when you’re done, people commend you and all you can say is, “That was fun,” or “I love doing it,” or “It just comes natural to me.” And they reply something like, “I can tell,” or “I wish I could do that,” or “Please don’t stop. I love watching you do it. It brings me joy.”

These things, these moments, these skills, these practices are what many like to call sweet spots.

You’re familiar with the term. But, like me, maybe you’ve not actually taken a moment to think about why. That question came to me way to early this morning, but I was glad.

I was glad because otherwise I wouldn’t have had these answers:

  • They’re called sweet because they bring pleasure-to their source, to their user, and to their receiver.
  • They’re called sweet because they have balance-not too much, not too little, just right.
  • They’re called sweet because they produce joy-during the prep, through the delivery, and by the memory.
  • They’re called sweet because they feel effortless-in the right lane, nothing blurred, nothing magnified.

Life can’t always be sweet. With intention, it can certainly be sweeter.

You have sweet spots. There’s a reason you have them.

Know them.

Own them.

Enjoy them.

Photo by Charles Etoroma on Unsplash

Celebrating Complexity

I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord!

Psalm 139:14 TPT

This is one of those verses where translation matters. And this translation gave me something new to consider.

Most of the other translations read the psalmist declaring he is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” What a head-shaking nuance to consider being made mysteriously complex. And to sound joyous about it.

There’s normally a negative tone when being considered complex. We say it about ourselves to ourselves. We say it about others-well, maybe we just think it.

Whoever we say it to, what if we changed the tone? What if we celebrate instead of bemoan the complexity of how we’re made?

I had to practice this today. I was in a setting where there were open displays of people’s makeup. Bemoaning tried to reign in my head, but it couldn’t stay because of the joy in the room. Why? No one was pointing out flaws, dislikes, or disapproval; no one was bothered by their own or anyone else’s complexities. Like-minded psalmists caught their breath and marveled.

Lord, forgive us when we fail to marvel. May we stay amazed in your mystery.

Photo by ANIRUDH on Unsplash

What Does She See?

On Monday, the Bradenton Police Department’s Facebook page shared this photo taken during a badge pinning ceremony for the 5th grade safety patrol from Sea Breeze Elementary. And it made me pause.

For those who don’t live in Bradenton or within a mile of this school like I do, the officer in this photo is Bradenton Chief of Police Bevan. She’s doing what I’ve seen her do on a few occasions and when we met. She’s looking this 5th grader in the eyes and taking in the person she’s shaking hands with. The look says something without words. If nothing else, those words are, “I see you.” But I’m curious what exactly does she see? And what does she hope this student is seeing in return?

No question in my mind this 5th grader is seeing something. Her age seems unimportant. In this second, she’s hearing and seeing something that could stay with her much of her life. The look on her face made me pause and ask, “What does she see? What is bringing that look of responding without words?”

Rather than suggest what those answers are, I’ll leave you to chew on it. Whatever the answers are, they bring joy. Joy to the Chief of Police. Joy to the Safety Patrol member. Joy to the photographer. Joy to this observer.

May they both continue to see and give joy!

An Open Letter to 22E Dad on Southwest Flight 1477

I had decided for this flight I wanted an aisle seat.  Seat 22D by you and your wife was the first one I came to, so I took it.  Immediately I wondered if I’d made a bad choice. 

You even gave me a “Are you sure” look.  I failed to consider what may transpire during the 2hr 45m flight with your child you were holding.  But I decided to embrace it and build a connection. 

“First flight?”

“Yeah.  He’s three months old.”

“Congratulations!  First child?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a big deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

That 18-word interchange said a lot.  The smile on your face and the light in your eyes said more.  But you had much more to say without words the rest of the flight.

To start the flight, “Junior” (I never asked you his name) was asleep.  The sharp tone of the captain’s voice changed that.  It wasn’t long before he started letting you know it was diaper time.  Your wife wondered which restroom had a changing table.  Not only did you get the answer from the attendant-you did the deed yourself.

While you and Junior were gone, your wife got his mid-flight bottle ready, which he seemed to expect the second you returned.  Without hesitation, you took the bottle and met his expectation.  Then you burped him.  Then you rocked him in various ways until he checked back in to dreamland.

Back in dreamland

Dad, I don’t fly a lot-two or three times a year.  And I can’t say I’ve ever sat beside a couple with a baby.  So the sample size is small.  But I’m going to go out on a limb and say, “You’re not normal.”  I would say, “Think about it,” but the proof says you already did.

You intentionally sat in the middle seat, which put you on bathroom duty and gave your wife as much privacy as possible.  You did these things all without a spirit of having lost a bet or it was “your turn.”

Dad, I’d like to think I’m wrong, but I’m guessing the reason this is noteworthy to me is I don’t believe the average dad thinks ahead like that. And even if they do, I’m also going to guess the joy you had isn’t the emotion the average dad would have knowing diaper and bottle duty is part of the flight plan.

This is what your actions said to me. More importantly to be considered is what your actions said to your wife and your son. Dad, I congratulate you even more for how you are starting your fathering and husbandry journey. Sure, not every plane ride will go this well. There will plenty husband/father rides that you’ll be tempted to be average, maybe even below average. On those days, pause to look back on this one. Remember the honor you gave, the love you expressed, and the joy you received in return. My guess is you have an above average dad. For everyone’s sake, but especially your family’s generations to come after “Junior,” keep up this great start and may other dads follow your lead.

P.S. Thank you for making 22D an above average choice.