prayer

Six Steps to Writing Your Laments

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I’m guessing if the majority of us were asked if we had anything to lament over we’d have more than one answer.

  • A relationship
  • Religion
  • Politics
  • Finances
  • Physical aches

I’m guessing if the majority of us were asked if we had a proper approach to lamenting we’d struggle to lay it out. Thankfully, Krispin Mayfield has offered some help.

In his book Attached to God, he gives six steps to writing a lament. Why? When we express our most difficult emotions to God, we draw closer to him. Intimacy with God is found in a balance of praise and lament.

In the tradition of the Psalms, here are Mayfield’s six steps:

  1. Tell God something you wish were different in your own life or the world, such as a health condition, difficult relationship, life stress, poverty, or racism.
  2. Tell God what you feel when you think about this issue; additionally, write down any emotions you might feel considering God’s inaction regarding this issue.
  3. Tell about a time in your own life or someone else’s where God intervened.
  4. Ask God to step in and address this suffering.
  5. Tell God you’re confident that your prayer is heard.
  6. Praise or recognize one of God’s attributes or characteristics, based on your past or present experience.

Sharing some of your uncomfortable emotions with God might feel strange. But you can unlock the basement when you’re assured that both God and your faith tradition can hold the parts of your experience. When you are sad, scared, or angry, your emotions aren’t signs of a lack of faith, but rather evidence that you are exactly where you need to be-at home with a God who is waiting to hear your emotions and give you the reassurance you need. (chapter 8, “From Shutdown to Engaged”)

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Redeeming Conditioning

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This was the first point in yesterday morning’s sermon: You always find what you’ve been conditioned to find. I was immediately reminded of a blog post from a few years back, “We See What We Look For.”

Being conditioned is certainly a thing, a thing that many are quick to point out about others who are on the opposing side. I often wonder how much we consider our own conditioning.

For example, politically. The deeper in one gets, the more conditioned they become to seeing only one viewpoint and thus responding in defense of it. The conditioning seems impenetrable.

And unfortunately, the same seems to go for spiritually. It’s as if our identity in both of these realms cripples our ability to recognize our personal programmed perceptions and responses that leave our minds and spirits untapped.

I’ll give two examples. A few years ago I answered a question of why I believe God exists by how I believe I’ve experienced His involvement in answering prayer. Two people in the conversation immediately locked eyes and jinxed each other with their reply of, “That’s just positive manifestation.” Wall up. Dialogue over. (If this is new language to you, check out this blog post.)

This past week I was at an event where we were discussing the usage of microphones. I made a comment that I didn’t have a clue came across as judgmental. One person replied gently, “We try not to judge here.” He’s conditioned to protect against judgment; I’m a work in progress of overcoming judgment as a natural response.

May I suggest we all address conditioning in the following ways:

  1. Acknowledge you have been conditioned
  2. Consider the probability that your conditioning needs redeeming
  3. Thank God for his redeeming conditioning work
  4. Offer grace to others who find their conditioning in need of redemption

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More Than a Guide

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Janet Holm McHenry has breathed life into my prayer life through her book.

I first referenced it in a post last month and took another month to finish it. Like eating red velvet waffles (Yes, that’s a thing. Had them for the first time this week. May I have another, please?), who wants to rush the goodness.

The first three words of the book’s title is true and is achieved, yet I find it to be so much more. If it breathes life into a spiritual discipline, then it’s easily described as life giving, potentially life changing.

The first indicator came from this simple suggestion in the introduction:

I pray for whatever God puts in my eyesight.

Needs some context probably. Janet was describing her shift from having a structured approach to prayer while she walked her neighborhood to praying based on what she believed God was putting in sight in that moment. That computes with “pray without ceasing” in my dictionary. Adoption #1.

I appreciate each chapter’s dedication to one prayer by Jesus. The three that had the most impression to my spirit were chapters nine, twelve, and thirteen.

A love that breeds unity is a subtle form of evangelism…Unity overlooks the faults of others who may not yet be living up to their potential, because unity knows those folks are growing in the right direction. (Chapter 9, “Jesus’ Prayer for the Church”)

Our “why” prayers are not a lack of faith; they are simply a lack of information. (Chapter 12, “Jesus’ Prayer in Abandonment”)

A prayer of submission actually is an act of strength. (Chapter 13, “Jesus’ Prayer of Submission.” She wrote this in reply to quoting Richard Foster: “It is the prayer of relinquishment that moves us from the struggling to the releasing.”)

Adoption #2, having a deeper understanding and awareness of praying for unity

Adoption #3, honoring the heart of anyone’s “why” prayer

Adoption #4, appreciating the movement and strength in submission

Her book is more than a guide. Take a read and see if you agree.

Praise: A Well-Taken Reminder

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For the last three weeks I’ve been focused on a question, a personal spiritual dialogue that I’ve shared with a few others. The question could be stated several ways, but what I’m after is an answer that enriches/refreshes relationship with God. Here are variations of the question:

  • Which is more important, focusing on what God does for us or who He is to us?
  • In my experience in the Church, is the focus on what God does or who He is?
  • What do my prayers reflect, a focus on works or on identity?
  • How do believers achieve balance between doing for and with God versus being with and knowing God?

In ways I’ll never be able to explain, the timeliness of reading the right book at the right time surfaced again this afternoon. I recently picked it up off clearance at Books A Million.

In Chapter 4 entitled “Jesus’ Prayer of Praise,” McHenry shared that Richard Foster says adoration has two forms, praise and thanksgiving. Thanksgiving expresses appreciation for what God has done; praise acknowledges who God is.

This struck me through a simple word-praise. I have been contrasting the words adoration and thanksgiving without thought to the word praise. Accepting this teaching that they are really all the same brings some relief to my analytical brain.

That final question in the list above comes from how I’ve been approaching prayer the last three weeks. I’ve leaned more in the adoring lane than the thanking or asking lane-an effort to discipline my focus on relationship. A reminder to praise is well taken.

By the way, in this chapter McHenry shared a terrific list to help us all improve our adoration. Seemed worth sharing.

Tall Order God

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In a recent interview, a pastoral candidate described what he was hoping for as “a tall order.” I replied, “I’m pretty sure God can handle tall orders.” Not that He’s obligated to any human’s orders, but He’s more than capable to fill them.

You got a current tall order?

  • Selling a house
  • Repairing a relationship
  • Getting out of debt
  • Forgiving yourself

Whatever it is, consider these talking points in your prayers the rest of this week:

  • Recall and thank God for filling your previous tall orders
  • Align your will with His
  • Ask him to do it again

Photo by Andrew Jenkins on Unsplash

SURPRISE!

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Monday, I was waiting for an interviewee to enter our Zoom meeting. I already had an opinion of how it would go, yet I knew that wasn’t a good mindset as an interviewer.

I decided prayer was a good option while I waited. The main request I voiced was to have an open mind.

Twenty-eight minutes later I voiced a second prayer admitting to God and the interviewee that I was surprised by our conversation. The first thing I remember saying was, “Thank you for being a God that surprises us.”

After I closed the meeting, I wondered why that is. Why am I surprised when God gives me what I ask for?

There are many possible answers for that question. One may be correct for one instance and another for another.

In this case, I tend to think I was surprised how quickly God showed me I was wrong, and it actually brought me joy. Doesn’t quite sound normal.

Surprise!

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Check out a New Podcast, 3-Minute Reset

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Yesterday I posted about developing your own Bible reading plan. As a follow up, I want to share a new podcast with you that I just learned about today.

I follow Pat Lencioni’s podcast At the Table. Listening to the latest episode on my drive to work this morning, they shared about his partnering with Chris Stefanick to start a new podcast entitled 3-Minute Reset. Daily episodes began January 1.

The 3-Minute Reset is a simple, daily discipline focused on spending a moment in thought and prayer, and rediscovering the peace that is always available to us.  I checked out the first episode during lunch today. I recommend you check it out also.

13 Quotes from Faith Beyond Belief

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Just finished reading another book that’s delivered richness.

It reads like a podcast transcript. When they say a conversation, they mean it. So it’s refreshing in that way.

The 22 chapters feel like episodes. They don’t necessarily connect one to the next, but they definitely weave the thread of faith and spirituality.

Rather than critique or review the book, I choose to share these quotes for your meditation:

“Love your neighbor as yourself” means be aware that you and your neighbor are one.

The Creative Meaning of Life

The answer I would give the agnostic: if you cannot see [accepting unity with God] yet, you don’t have to accept it. Wait until you experience it. It is not a dogmatic principle we want to impose on you. We only want to say that millions of people experience it. You can too. Open yourself to it.

The Epic Discovery of Self

You have a “vibe.” What do you want to transmit? Bitterness, dissatisfaction, loneliness, or understanding, warmth, and love? None of that requires any great achievement. It simply happens in the way I live my life.

A decision in favor of something is also a decision to let go of something.

“Fear not!” means “take courage, and take anxiety as it comes!”

Calling, Courage, and Fear (this chapter alone is worth checking out this book; so much to digest on the subject of anxiety and courage)

When someone says she doesn’t believe in God, I ask: which god don’t you believe in?

On the Temptation to Want to Possess the Truth

Prayer warms what is frozen and hard into living water.

We fulfill God’s will when we forgive on earth as God forgives in heaven.

The “Our Father” and God’s Trustworthiness

Many people are afraid of death because they have not lived. Unlived life is hard to let go. Those who live deliberately can also let go.

On the Mortal and the Eternal

I cannot explain why there is suffering, but I can influence how I meet it.

Suffering and Reconciliation

Humility is the appropriate attitude by which to accept oneself with one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Transformation is the result of a crisis.

Spiritual Growth

Despite all the deviations, we can say that if the church did not exist, our society would be essentially colder.

What is the Christian’s Focus?

Post It Note Prayers

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Yesterday, I had a first. My pastor’s wife sent me a handwritten letter; never gotten one from any pastor’s wife. It was a gracious note of thanks. I want to share a little of it and then reveal an observation.

Dear John,

…Six years ago we spent money on a keyboard. We had no one that played keys, but we went ahead and purchased the keyboard for the church. There were so many weeks, months, and even years the keyboard went untouched, and the post it note of a prayer request sat on the wall of the office. It read, “A keyboard player.” We all prayed and we waited; we believed God would bring someone who would want to serve in worship and use their giftings on that keyboard. This past Sunday I was reminded that GOD IS FAITHFUL-not always in the timing we want but always in His perfect timing! Thank you…

Cool story, right? What she didn’t know, and no one at church knew until now, was that God and I had a completely different conversation that same Sunday about my playing keys at church. I mean completely different.

Not to go into too much detail, but very few people really know the work I’ve done over the years to not be too hard on myself when it comes to music, particularly playing the piano/keys. I’ll never live up to my perfectionistic expectations, and sometimes it gets the best of me. That Sunday it did.

After the worship set, I was pretty much in a wrestling match with God, couldn’t concentrate on what the pastor was saying due to all the guilt and overreacting stuff that comes with perceived failure. If I’d written a post it note in that moment, I’d probably had to have immediately brought it forward for confession, if you know what I mean. There wouldn’t have been anything holy about it.

If I’ve learned nothing else in these moments in my adult life, I’ve learned that 99.9% of the people that were in the same room have no idea what I’m thinking about that “failure” and would say if they did, “What are you talking about?” The honest ones would say, “Get over it, John.” And my real friends would say, “Get over yourself, John!”

God and I talked about this for the next 10 hours. That conversation is between me and him. But the end result was my acknowledging I knew the solution and had been holding out on it. A figurative post it note I’d had for a few months was more a “want” than a “need.” And in this case, God showed me that the want wasn’t necessary, and the need was actually more important. I got over myself.

There are numerous observations from these two stories about a Sunday service and a keyboard. But the one I most appreciate is this: God has zero problems having multiple conversations with his children at the same time about the same thing going in completely different directions.

That’s my God.

That’s worth another post it note.

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Some Texts Are Better Than Others

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A couple of months ago I got this text from my pastor:

How can I be praying for you today? You’re always asking me…

11/1/22

I responded with a 15-minute phone call-too much to explain in a text. I told him I knew what I wanted to do regarding a decision, but I wanted to take the time to see if it aligned with what God would have me do. The final thing he said was something like, “Be open. You might be surprised with the answer.”

I thought about our conversation when I read these thoughts this morning in my devotional plan:

When we ask God for wisdom, we must be willing to accept that wisdom and follow it, no matter what. Going to God is not like going to another person for advice. People are flawed. When they share their opinions, we have the right to disagree and disregard their advice. Not so with God. He is perfect, and His wisdom is flawless.

God will always guide us into what is best for us. His wisdom may not always be what we want to hear, but it is always true, always right. If we want to retain our rights to do whatever we please, we might as well not go to God in the first place. Until we are ready to lay down our rights, they will always be tugging at our souls. When we choose, however, to disregard our own desires and to follow God’s truth, we will receive the wisdom and guidance that will always lead us into His perfect plan for our lives.

YouVersion plan “Morning Coffee With James”

That November conversation came to mind pretty easily because what I wanted to do was not how God answered me. However, within days of “disregarding my own desire,” God clearly honored that decision in a way that only he could.

Here are three takeaways from this layered interchange:

  1. Offer to pray for someone. It could be direction-changing.
  2. Be open to God’s answers. They can be surprisingly good.
  3. You have options when seeking wisdom. Leaving God out isn’t a good one.

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash