Rich

Single At Heart: Psychologically Rich Living

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While traveling a few weeks ago, I read one of the more interesting books for my year.

I intentionally sought out a book on this topic for various reasons, mostly due to observing challenges of recent divorcees and contentment struggles of younger singles. This book did not disappoint.

DePaulo’s approach is thorough, very direct, and heavily researched. You feel like you are listening to an authority on the topic of single living.

Her research led her to this label for those who have come to the conclusion they really aren’t interested in being coupled; they are content in their heart to remain single. To determine one’s level of being single at heart, she developed a 15-question questionnaire. You can find it on this link: https://belladepaulo.com/2019/10/single-at-heart-tell-me-about-your-life-in-your-own-words/

I want to highlight two thoughts in this post and one to follow, although there are many more worthwhile nuggets. The first highlight comes from social research referenced in chapter 1. This study asked people in nine nations to describe their ideal life choosing between three options-happy, meaningful, or psychologically rich.

On their deathbeds, a person who led a happy life might say, “I had fun!” whereas a person who had a meaningful life would think, I made a difference! The parting thoughts of the person who led a psychologically rich life would be, What a journey!

DePaulo determined the psychological richness of single at heart people is the most distinctive, even if they also experienced happiness and meaningfulness. I not only found this insightful, but completely agree.

Following this discussion, she then approached the value of authenticity of single at heart people. Acknowledging anyone of any relationship status can live authentically, she added this insight:

People who are single at heart, though, who are bucking powerful social norms, are especially likely to think deeply about who they really are and what they really want.

These thoughts jumpstart the book. They lay the foundation for what I believe could be excellent dialogue for people of all relationship statuses whose outcome could be psychologically rich living.

Top 3 2023 Word of the Year Songs

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The first year I chose a word for the year was 2020. It’s an exercise I’ve grown to appreciate. If you have yet to consider it, here are a few blog posts about it:

https://mountainmodernlife.com/word-of-the-year/

https://www.fillingthejars.com/word-for-the-year/

My 2023 word was “rich” for which I created a playlist. At one time the playlist had about 20 songs. Last month as we edged closer to year end, I began deleting songs as a way of keeping focus. And in a fun way, unintentionally, I got down to the top three songs on the list that spoke the most to me along this theme. So I thought I’d share them with you.

To share them, here’s the playlist and videos of each song. Enjoy the richness!

Now I Know Why

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Rarely do I regret reading a book. Actually, if I think that’s going to be the case, I don’t finish it. Again, that’s rare.

However, often I finish a book and think, “I’m glad I read it. It’s not for everyone, but maybe there’s someone I’ll be able to share this book with.” That’s exactly what happened today.

The last book I read was Finding God in the Waves by Mike McHargue. Actually, I listened to it through Hoopla on audio. I believe I came across it by reference in another book I read earlier this year, so I put it in my queue.

I hadn’t heard of McHargue. But apparently his writings and podcasts have created a stir. I see why, which is why I know his book isn’t for everyone. But I met Dave today, and it was obvious I had to share this book with him.

Why isn’t important. What’s important is that sometimes we’re fortunate to experience firsthand, and even within days, what God is up to. We can wonder and be curious. Sometimes we see it; sometimes we don’t. I counted it a rich moment to say to Dave, “Now I know why I read that book.”

Photo by kaleb tapp on Unsplash

The Rich Ones

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Letting go is a skill. It could also be called a discipline. It also seems the more one practices it the richer they become.

Letting go of regret increases grace.

Letting go of anger increases peace.

Letting go of pride increases humility.

Letting go of worry increases trust.

Letting go of what could have been improves vision.

Letting go of unmet expectations increases mercy.

Letting go of control increases faith.

Letting go of disappointment increases joy.

Those who know how to let go or at least are growing in this skill and discipline are growing in their wealth.

They are the rich ones.

Photo by Максим Степаненко on Unsplash

9 Ways to Better Goodbyes

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Today included a goodbye. And I can honestly say it wasn’t sad.

Not because neither of us care. Quite the opposite. The care is selfless.

I don’t exactly know how long we’ve known each other. But what I do know is that from the very beginning we cared as much for the other as we did ourselves. That’s a rare form of rich. Golden.

Upon reflection, here are a few ways to better goodbyes. From the beginning and throughout your journey…

  • Listen deeply
  • Be available
  • Provide safety
  • Say it
  • Name it
  • Encourage
  • Reveal unseen good
  • Affirm faithful decisions
  • Celebrate what’s possible

Photo by Leon Seibert on Unsplash

Cape Cod Beauty

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I’ve been granted the pleasure of appreciating Cape Cod since Sunday. If you know the area, then you’ll recognize the names Mashpee, Falmouth, Hyannis, and Dennis. These have been my viewpoints. I could be here another month and still have unexplored areas, I’m convinced. What a treasure!

In my exploring today, I grabbed a few images. They include a quick stop at Howes Beach in Dennis, a fascinating walk through Cape Cod Museum of Art, and peculiar trees yards from my timeshare unit deck. Here they are with simple observations.

Looking out on Cape Cod Bay from the top of the dune walkway.
If I came here often, Howes Beach would be my beach of choice.
A deliberate choice I made earlier this year within my theme of “rich” is to visit art galleries and museums wherever I travel. This museum exudes beauty, particularly with their sculptures.
Guess what this is made of? Steel! Blows my mind!
Had to check out this tree that’s puzzled me looking through the woods out my slider. No idea what’s the story, but there are some life applications, to be sure. Here’s a different view:
Imagine the story one of the museum art exhibitors could tell with this wood!
Speaking of a story, this view caught my eye this afternoon. Looks like a Marvel Hero pierced this tree with another tree’s limb.

Tomorrow I leave for another New England state. If I never make it back, thank you Cape Cod for all your images of beauty.

A Different Kind of Rich

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Last night I finished reading Rich In Heaven by Chris Mackey.

This morning I got an example of what Mackey wrote about told to me by a stranger. There’s something about snowbirds (a northerner who moves to a warmer southern state in the winter) and conversation. They don’t shy from it.

I’m on vacation in Orange Beach, Alabama. If I turn my head just so, I see the Gulf of Mexico right now. This morning I decided to walk the beach first thing. After being stopped by one snowbird to view passing porpoises about 100 yards out in the water, I was stopped by another couple to chat. I really don’t know what started the conversation. But 10 minutes later, the husband had told me all I needed to know about his family.

I didn’t ask his name. Since he’s from Gardendale (which probably doesn’t really classify him as a snowbird…it’s in the same state), I’ll call him Dale.

Dale is retiring April 1st from Alabama Power where he’s worked for 46 years. One of his younger brothers retired today. His wife said Dale’s a little miffed by that. His other younger brother took over the family farm. His wife said he’ll figure out that wasn’t a good move.

Dale doesn’t care for the beach; he’d rather be on a bushwhacker. That reminds him of growing up on the farm with his parents. They’re both gone, but he’s very proud of who they were. When his dad passed, people told Dale stories of how he’d done something personally impactful for them that they’d never forget. That’s who he was.

From Dale’s own experience, he remembers when his Dad would announce in church that the next weekend his corn crop would be ready for people to come get whatever they wanted. They stood in lines for that free corn. And the same with the family chickens. They always had 2,000-3,000 chickens (Dale said that wasn’t a lot. I’ve never had one, so that sounded ginormous to me.). Dale’s dad would announce a Sunday prior that fryers would be available the next weekend. That meant Dale and his brothers would have to skin them to be ready to give away.

Dale said he never got a satisfactory answer from his dad why he didn’t ask folks to pay for that corn or those fryers. His dad only said, “One day you’ll understand.” When Dale said they were never rich or anything, I replied, “Your dad was a different kind of rich.” He replied, “And I understand now.”

Chatting with my vacationing neighbors reminded me of a few things Mackey wrote:

We ought to think about “us and ours” instead of “me and mines.”

The way to more blessing is giving what you have away.

God is displeased, not by what we choose to give Him, but by what we refuse to give Him.

The two types of people in this world are not the haves and the have nots but the “use wells” and the “do nothings.”

The rich in heaven are those who are not okay with God working out His plan apart from them.

Nothing promotes inaction more than comfort.

It is the place where you refuse to grant God access that marks the extent of heaven’s reign in your life.

I met some rich folks this morning. I’m richer.

5 Steps to Customize Your Own Year-Long Bible Reading Plan on YouVersion

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A year’s commitment to anything can sound daunting. I imagine that’s the feeling most people have when they consider committing to a 365-day Bible reading plan.

Besides that, most of those plans are designed to take you through the entire Bible. A worthy goal for sure-I believe one that should be set and achieved at least once in life. Yet, the challenge to get that done in a year can be tempting to ditch, say, around Numbers 22 (just a random guess…nothing scientific…or biased against whatever happens in that chapter and book).

I completed one of those plans once on YouVersion…in about 3 years. See my point.

It took me that long because I choose to take my time. And I like to veer off track. If I want to campout in Jonah longer, I do. If I’m intrigued by a theme in Romans, I’ll take a break from the plan and complete other plans covering that theme…as many as I want as long as I want. I color outside the lines.

But the idea of reading a portion of the Bible every day does not mean you have to read the entire Bible in any set amount of time. All it means is placing a priority, developing a rhythm in your day that includes reading the Bible. Whenever you do it, how long you do it, where you do it, that’s entirely up to you. And, for those other rule breakers, what you read is also entirely up to you.

For quite a while, I’ve been using YouVersion reading plans. And for the first time this year, I’ve decided to use them to customize a year-long reading plan. It’s already added richness to my reading. Want to give it a try? Here’s how I’m doing it.

  1. Determine to Make a Daily Commitment. Pretty obvious, but if you aren’t resolved to it, you won’t make it to December 31st. Sure, you might miss a day here or there. Understandable. I have already. Give yourself some grace and think about the fact that odds are you’ve got 5 minutes to give to this commitment and missing it a couple of times doesn’t make you a loser. If you are in, move on to step 2.
  2. Decide on a Theme. There’s a popular trend that’s replacing making New Year’s Resolutions. Instead of setting goals and aspirations, you choose a word that you’d like to guide you for the year. Not sure about that, check out this podcast episode to learn more. I started this in 2020. Each year I’ve utilized it differently, more broadly. This year, that word is what I’m using to customize my Bible reading. My word for 2023 is rich (maybe more on that later). Know your theme? Move on to step 3.
  3. Search Plans. On the YouVersion app (download it now if you haven’t already), you can search for reading plans simply by typing in a word. When I typed in rich, dozens of reading plans were available. You’re ready for step 4.
  4. Save for Later. On each plan description, you have two choices: sample and save for later. Sample allows you to check out any day of the plan. I do that to get an impression if I think I’ll complete it. If I think so, then I save it for later. You don’t have to start the plan when you find it. I’m not worrying about saving enough plans that equal 365 days, by the way. I just saved the ones that looked interesting to me for now. At the moment, I’ve saved enough plans to get me through April (total up the days for each plan to see how many days you’ve already covered). Saved at least one plan? Final step is next.
  5. Follow the Thread. As you read each plan, some verse/story/character will stand out, grab your attention. Take note. Follow that lead to search for other plans to save for later. For instance, since I did my initial plan saving, the book of Luke and the chapter of 1 Chronicles 29 have gotten my attention. Adding reading plans for those has increased my initial plan list by five plans adding 53 days. Feels very fluid and interactive.

That’s it. I’m convinced this approach is going to continue to prove worthwhile and meaningful. By the end of the year, I anticipate remembering more, appreciating more, and embracing more of the Bible. I’ll be more rich.

By the way, I just looked up Numbers 22. That’s where a donkey talks. You might want to check it out. Not sure what thread that starts, but have fun.