2 Temptations that Keep Us from the Dive of Love

I’m listening to Richard Rohr’s The Tears of Things.

In chapter five he discusses the writings of Jeremiah. One aspect Rohr pulls out is Jeremiah’s challenge to not be attached to the exterior works of religion and to choose the inner transformation found in a relationship with the one being worshipped. Be more in love with God instead of the rituals that supposedly bring you closer to him.

This particular statement stung me:

Church loyalty is commonly substituted for the love of God. Loyalty is actually a form of codependency giving a warped sense of control and safety while love is a dive into perfect freedom.

Loyalty – I have wrestled with this value most of my life. I’ve come to the realization that the temptation to be loyal to what or who I can see is a great tool of the enemy. So yes, it’s easy to understand how one could substitute it for the real thing.

Codependency – This is a good possibility of why we choose that substitution. This temptation to be in control and to pursue safety is the oldest tool of spiritual warfare. It’s not a reason to run from the church; it’s a worthy awareness to maintain church health.

Love of God – I’ve been challenged several times over the last five years by those speaking into my life that my dive into perfect freedom needs more attention. That’s why this quote resonated. That is how I avoid yielding to these two temptations.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

“I Don’t Feel Safe”

In episode 10 of Season 11 of the Being Known podcast, Dr. Thompson named something that I instantly honed in on because I’ve experienced it.

Over the last few years, I’ve experienced several instances where someone explained their reaction to an event or moment with the phrase, “I didn’t feel safe.” That immediately appeared to me like a learned expression, something they’ve been educated as a way to express their reaction. Yet, that phrase in and of itself left me with questions. But they were questions I kept to myself lest I upset the person any further or potentially came across as not hearing them or lacking empathy. Frankly, I walked away wondering how best to respond.

Dr. Thompson explains his opinion about the usage of this phrase in this two-minute clip.

“The reality is I don’t know what you mean when you say you feel unsafe.”

I connected with that statement. It feels like the work of repair is somehow all on the other party, but it doesn’t seem clear where to start. Changing the statement to what is actually being felt instead of what is not being felt makes things clearer for both parties.

I’m curious about your experience of either using this phrase or being on the receiving end of it. How do you respond to Dr. Thompson’s thoughts about it?

9 Ways to Better Goodbyes

Today included a goodbye. And I can honestly say it wasn’t sad.

Not because neither of us care. Quite the opposite. The care is selfless.

I don’t exactly know how long we’ve known each other. But what I do know is that from the very beginning we cared as much for the other as we did ourselves. That’s a rare form of rich. Golden.

Upon reflection, here are a few ways to better goodbyes. From the beginning and throughout your journey…

  • Listen deeply
  • Be available
  • Provide safety
  • Say it
  • Name it
  • Encourage
  • Reveal unseen good
  • Affirm faithful decisions
  • Celebrate what’s possible

Photo by Leon Seibert on Unsplash