Self-awareness

For Their Sake

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

Thanks for listening. It was the second time I admitted this situation today. My ability to articulate it gives me the opportunity to internalize it. Radical acceptance. I appreciate your question and your willingness to listen. Thank you, friend!

Email I received recently

I thought my question was innocent. But apparently, to them, it wasn’t. Why?

Space. In that moment, they weren’t looking for it, but space was provided for them to put words to their emotions, their current situation, and their understanding. Space is sacred, particularly when it’s for and with the one who needs it.

Seen. In that moment, they were allowed to freely share, receive reflection, and affirmation. Being seen satisfies a natural hunger and may reveal more behind the hunger than previously understood.

Self-awareness. In that moment, they saw their reflection. They saw themselves with integrity and acceptance in a way that said, “It’s okay. I don’t have to necessarily like what I see, but at least I see myself more clearly. Now I have an idea how to respond, how to move forward.”

Got a question you’re not sure to follow a nudge to ask? For their sake, not yours, ask.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

That Person

/ johngregoryjr / Leave a comment

I have them. You have them.

I am one. You are one.

That person…

  • …you are constantly battling the thought that they can’t do anything right
  • …you are tempted to believe is unforgivable
  • …you wish they’d just move on
  • …you wonder if there’s such a thing as too much grace
  • …you’re convinced doesn’t have a clue

That person(s) that you’re thinking about right now is your that person.

As a recovering judger and teller, I’ve labeled many people as that person. The more I own and understand that I’m also that person the fewer people I label. We have to resist labeling in our minds and hearts, and we need to be aware when we’re spreading our labeling to others by talking about that person. Not easy work.

How do we do this work? I’m doing it by asking myself three questions:

  1. How am I praying for that person?
  2. How will I stay engaged with that person?
  3. When’s the last time that person…
  • …had an arm around their shoulder?
  • …heard, “I forgive you”?
  • …believed they weren’t alone?
  • …experienced grace from another human?
  • …felt safe with those who knew them well?

It’s hard relationship work. But that person needs it. And as someone else’s that person, I need it.