Fully Alive (book review)

I was intrigued enough by The Dignity Index (link to prior post) that I found Timothy Shriver’s book, Fully Alive, on audible. I had no idea what I was in for.

There are so many takeaways. Certainly makes me wish I had a hard copy.

But I’ll narrow down my takeaways under three headings:

  1. Fully Alive is a ten+hour history lesson. The lesson includes the Kennedy family history, highlighting the impact of Rosemary’s challenges. The lesson tells the story behind the founding and development of the Special Olympics. Many other lessons are found; but the one most prevalent is the dignity of all humans and the history of all cultures determining if and how they would recognize every person’s worth.
  2. Fully Alive is a look at the whole of a man. Shriver’s transparency about his maturation, his privilege, his spirituality, and his determination are refreshing. His words inspired me to continue efforts to grow in relationships and purpose. They accomplished the promise to paint a picture of what matters most.
  3. Fully Alive is a spotlight on the human spirit. You are introduced to many examples of this spirit. I’m drawn to three of the Special Olympic athletes: Loretta, Donald, and Daniel. Their spirits are depicted as full of grit, presence, and courage. They overcame many barriers resulting in fearless victory in the face of rejection, misdiagnosis, and death. Their stories, their lives depict what Shriver wants us to pursue, living fully.

Listening to this book during this last month was cathartic. I needed it, but was not aware it would come from listening to this book. If your spirit is in need of revival, you might find it in this book. It’s worth a try.

Black & White & Gray & Neither

My natural mindset nurtured by my upbringing has led me to a lot of work regarding moving away from black and white thinking. Always a work in progress.

My more natural gray-thinking friends and colleagues have been tremendous partners in my growth. But recently, I’ve determined there is another realization to my growth that I’ve never considered.

Here it is: Regardless of whether one thinks naturally black & white or gray, a lack of openness toward the inner work required for growth potentially creates ruptures.

Here’s how Dr. Dena Dinardo explains it:

Explore the value of gray thinking

The final step to managing binary thinking is opening up to the shades in between – the nuance, the uncertainty, the possibility. This is where real growth happens. 

Challenging black and white thoughts and exploring gray thinking (the in-between) allows us to see situations from new angles, which doesn’t just change how we think, but also how we feel and respond. In relationships, this opens the door to deeper understanding, repair, and connection.

This kind of inner work can be difficult to do alone. If you find yourself struggling, consider working with a therapist who can help you develop more flexible and compassionate ways of thinking and relating.

I’m tempted to walk away from relationships lacking mutual desire for growth, willingness to do the work. These are the Neithers. The pain and suffering surrounding Neithers slowly, both physically and/or emotionally, pushes away those working to grow.

May we all embrace our inner work in order to embrace one another…to open the door to deeper…to possibilities otherwise left unknown.

Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash

Have Mercy

In the same podcast episode mentioned in “How Long,” the speaker’s second focus on praying the Psalms was confession.

He mentioned the few occasions that the Psalmist penned the phrase, “Have Mercy, O God.” The most familiar of these is Psalm 51 by David.

This song is my effort to capture these eight verses:

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

How Long

I recently listened to a podcast episode of a prayer event in Europe. The episode’s speaker captured the power of praying the Psalms, particularly in regards to lamenting.

His encouragement to help growth in lamenting was focused on the language of Psalm 13, specifically the first three words: “How Long, Lord.”

My lament went from the page to the piano. Before you listen to the recording, take a moment to meditate on the six verses of this psalm:

[1] How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? [2] How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? [3] Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, [4] and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. [5] But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. [6] I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13 NIV

The Dignity Index

On some things I’m slow, but hey, I’m moving.

I just discovered yesterday that I can create a playlist of podcast episodes on my app. Who knew?

I came across it trying to figure out a shortcut to relisten to two episodes I experienced while driving back and forth to Georgia for Thanksgiving. These episodes shook me in ways my soul said, “Do it again.”

Yes, one of the episodes was from Everything Happens. The guest was Tim Shriver-educator, author, and longtime Chairman of Special Olympics.

Many takeaways. But the one I’d like to shine a light on is The Dignity Index. Development beginning in 2021 and launched in 2022, the Index is an eight-point scale for measuring how we talk to each other when we disagree.

The Dignity Index is designed to draw our attention away from biases and toward the power we each have to heal our country and each other.

This seems to be needed like no other time. In whatever arena you choose, dignity is often disregarded and sometimes replaced with contempt, which is represented by the lower four scores on the Index.

The Index is a tool for learning, awareness, correction, and uniting. We all can use more of that. I know I can; thus, the episode is on my playlist.

Where in your relationships is dignity lacking, maybe even absent due to contempt? What role might you have to ease divisions, prevent violence, and solve problems? What are you willing to do?

Kids Know More About Joy

Got to spend five hours with lovely Emerlyn on Tuesday. The featured picture is us reading together-her attempt to stay occupied and avoid napping. It worked.

On my drive the next morning, I heard this exchange between Kate Bowler and guest Nikki Grimes on “Everything Happens“:

Kate: Yeah, Nikki, I feel like I could hear your heartbeat when you talk about joy. It really sustains you. Do you think kids know more about joy than other people? Because I have this sense about the way that it’s connected to noticing and gratitude and hope and delight. Like these are all things kids are particularly good at. I just wonder if some of that—the particularity of kids’ ability to notice and be grateful and to be in the details—makes them maybe more… I think so.

Nikki: Oh, they really can hone in on things in a way that we don’t. If you really want to see something or you want to see it a new way, look through a child’s eyes. They’re always noticing things that adults miss.

Emerlyn is a noticer. A busy railroad track lies earshot from her Rara’s and Pop’s home. Each time the passing trains “chooed,” her head would shoot up, eyes would widen as she echoed, “Choo!”

So yes, Kate, kids are better at joy than their adult people. They don’t seem to know not to be. Everything hasn’t been normalized or discounted or experienced. As Emerlyn’s Rara described, she lives in awe and wonder.

On this Thanksgiving day, find the youngest person you can and spend more time with them than you planned. Tap into joy. Notice along with them.

May gratitude, hope, and delight reign your day.

“Why Not” > “What If”

I’ve worked part-time for the last two years for Chemistry Staffing as a candidate interviewer. If I thought I knew anything about interviewing before then, I learned quickly I had more to learn.

In a recent staff meeting, the leadership team shared a mindset shift that I completely found refreshing and certainly gracious. Already leaning this direction, the alignment was immediate.

Mindset Shift: “Why Not” ➝ “What If” 

Moving away from disqualifying too quickly and leaning into curiosity:

Old posture: New posture

“Why not move this person forward?” “What if this could work?”

Examples:

  • Experience: “He only has 6 years, not 10.” → What if his 6 years included higher complexity than average?
  • Education: “She doesn’t have a master’s.” → What if her teaching and theology are stronger than most grads?
  • Age: “He’s 32; we wanted 40+.” (pick the age, vice versa) → What if he brings energy and innovation beyond his years? What if she has plenty left in the tank?
  • Compensation: “They’re at $75k; we can’t afford them.” → What if they’d take less for the right fit?

Key takeaway: Stay open-handed in early conversations. Gather more information. Avoid prematurely filtering out strong potential fits.

How this is an improvement:

  • Less transactional > more relational
  • Less arrogant > more humble
  • Less rigid > more flexible
  • Less closed > more open
  • Less judgmental > more gracious
  • Less about the interviewer > more about the interviewee

CHALLENGE: Put yourself in both seats. What’s your current mindset? What shifts would you like to pursue?

Photo by Mina Rad on Unsplash

Who Else

This is a newer worship song by Gateway Worship

Lyrics

I am an instrument of exaltation
And I was born to lift Your name above all names
You hear the melody of all creation
But there’s a song of praise that only I can bring

Who else is worthy? Who else is worthy?
There is no one, only You, Jesus
Who else is worthy? Who else is worthy?
There is no one, only You, Jesus

You are the infinite God of the ages
Yet You chose to make my heart Your dwelling place
You healed my brokenness, showed me Your glory
So I have songs of thanks not even angels sing

Lamb of God, anointed one
Who was and is and is to come
Seated on the throne above
Holy, Holy
Righteous one who shed His blood
You proved to us the Father’s love
Jesus Christ be lifted up
Holy, Holy

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Abbie Gamboa / Josiah Funderburk / Zac Rowe

Who Else lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing

Let Them Release First

I don’t recall where or who I heard say this about hugs, but it has stuck with me.

To be a great hugger, let them release first.

Those of us who are not naturally big on hugging no matter the reason can, however, practice being great at hugging.

Got some practice yesterday after church.

One of the men who got baptized crossed my path after the service. We’ve hardly spoken in the past. Just some eye contact and short head nods while I’m playing the keyboard and he’s within spitting distance in the audience.

When he saw me coming, he came in for a hug. The Spirit whispered, “Hang on ’til he’s done.”

We didn’t say much. The embrace was plenty.

God shows his glory all day long. Even in hugs.

Photo by Alex Gallegos on Unsplash