3 Checks to Controlling Yourself 

In the last 12 hours, I’ve had three conversations around the subject of control. One was with myself; it happens when you wake up an hour before the alarm.

The interesting core of these conversations had to do with being frustrated or anxious. And every one of them found the same end that the cause of the frustration and anxiety was trying to control something that was out of their control.

We’ve all been there. “Why can’t they do it this way?” “What if they get mad?” “How come she gets better reviews they I get?” Before we drive ourselves to losing control, maybe we can check ourselves and, in a sense, own our control issues rather than trying to control things that we really can’t.

Check #1-Check your Expectations. Ask these questions:

  • Whose expectations are these?
  • Who agreed to these expectations?
  • What should my expectations be and what am I basing them on?
  • What happens if my expectations don’t get met? Who is going to care besides me?
  • What happens if my expectations do get met? Who is going to care besides me?

Check #2-Check your Opportunities. Ask these questions:

  • How might this relationship grow?
  • What might I learn today?
  • What other perspectives have I not considered?
  • How could I cultivate gratitude?
  • How can I show respect?

Check #3-Check your Fears. Ask these questions:

  • What if love drove me more than fear?
  • What can I find to affirm rather than judge?
  • How can I connect with them rather than hide from them?
  • What fears need to hear me say, “Yes”?
  • What fears need to hear me say, “No”?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2Timothy 1:7

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