This morning a colleague shared a reality he experienced this week. He said, “It broke me, John.”
He works exclusively with men, emotional and spiritual coaching and mentoring. This week included a gathering of 78 men. Before the speaker shared, he asked the men at each table to share with the rest of their table the most life impactful statement they heard from their dad or significant male figure in their life. After they’d had sufficient discussion time, he asked the group this question:
By show of hands, how many of you could say the impactful statement you just shared was “I love you, and I’m proud of you”?
Knowing the line of work I’m in, he asked me how many I thought raised their hands. I answered, “Maybe four.”
“Only one…and it was me.”
That experience for him was on Monday. It felt like it just happened. Pain spilled out. He couldn’t hold it in any longer.
He didn’t tell me where the speaker went following that question. One could guess. I’m not going to, but here are a few reactions:
- 99% of the men in that room are most likely trying to give what they never received.
- Those men pulled up a chair to a table that felt safe.
- The 77 that couldn’t answer yes now have the opportunity to voice love and affirmation to their sons and their generation.
May we say all the unspoken things.
Photo by 550Park Luxury Wedding Films on Unsplash
