Books

2016 Library

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In some areas of my personal habits/disciplines, 2016 was a year of resurrection. Blogging was one. Another was reading. Neither have fully come back to previous stature, so it’s a work in progress.

From reader’s feedback, sharing what I’ve read has always been a source of numerous things for you, so as a look back at 2016 I thought I’d simply list my 2016 library for you. 

  • Leadership and Self-Deception, The Arbinger Institute
  • Awe, Paul David Tripp
  • Jesus and CEO, Laurie Beth Jones
  • Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry
  • Breakfast with Bonhoeffer, Jon Walker
  • It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over, R.T. Kendall
  • Jesus and Mohammad, Mark A. Gabriel
  • How People Grow, Dr. Henry Cloud
  • The Essential Wooden, Steve Jamison
  • Tales from the St. Louis Cardinals Dugout, Bob Forsch
  • The Listening Life, Adam S. McHugh
  • The White Umbrella, Mary Frances Bowley
  • The Power of the Other, Dr. Henry Cloud
  • The Four Laws of Forgiveness, Brad Johnson
  • The Next Level, Scott Wilson
  • The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Peter Scazerro
  • The Prisoner in the Third Cell, Gene Edwards
  • Lincoln’s Melancholy, Joshua Wolf Shenk
  • The Allure of Gentleness, Dallas Willard

This list is in the order that I read them, no recommendations or endorsements. I did grow through their content. And enjoyed reading them all. 

Here’s to more enjoyable, growth-producing reading in 2017!

Do You Know Your Values? 

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I just finished reading a chapter in a book (Becoming a Professional Life Coach) I’m reading for one of my coaching courses. The chapter was entitled “Steering Your Life by True North.”  The following statement sums up the chapter’s intent:

It’s impossible to lead a fulfilling life that does not honor or that is out of alignment with our core values.

This question then rises: do you know your core values?  To clarify, core values aren’t the things you think you should value. They may not even be the things you currently have chosen to value. Your core values are the qualities that when lived you are unashamed and satisfied with how you’re living life.

To help you identify your core values, here’s an exercise from the chapter:

Think back to the qualities you had as a child. List 5 to 10 qualities that were true of you between the ages of 6 and 12.

You’ve been naturally drawn towards certain things ever since you were a child, and some qualities were just naturally part of you. You may have been naturally creative or thoughtful, or a lover of nature or beauty. You may have been a natural helper of others or may have been drawn to things that were new or different. Or perhaps you were an experimenter or explorer. These qualities may be among your core values or may be clues to help you identify them.

Sit down and quickly list 5 to 10 of these qualities right now. Circle all of those qualities that are still a part of your life and that come naturally to you. Include anything you would be and do if your work, time, and life supported you in fulfilling them. Also include things that people cannot stop you from doing.

May you know your core values! May you know your true north!

Identity

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Inspired by a few observations and conversations lately, I’ve been thinking about identity. By identity, I’m specifically thinking about how we find our worth, and also how we keep in mind who we are based on our understanding of who God is and how he sees us.

Today I flew home from a trip to Detroit. One observation I had on the plane today was of a man one row up from me. I’m guessing he was at least 75 years old. I was first drawn to him because I was trying to figure out where the smell of peanut M&Ms was coming from. Busted. But then I noticed something much more intriguing.

He was reading a book. The side of the book I could see was being held open by some type of clamp, something I hadn’t seen before. Being a reader, I thought it was maybe some type of gadget to help you keep your place. As I looked closer, the reality became clear. It was the end of a prosthetic.
As I watched this man, I saw further that his right hand appeared to be writhed by arthritis. This man had a lot going on. Yes, he was an amputee. But he was more than that. I saw that he was a reader, a lone traveler, a mobile device user, and a candy lover.

I wondered what his story was. How did he lose his limb? Was he a vet? Had he been a contractor who suffered a career-ending accident? Did he keep working regardless and now was enjoying retirement in Florida? Was he a survivor of a disease? Does he identify himself mostly as an amputee? Had it been so long ago that he’s lived longer with the prosthetic than without it? What was the basis of identity for this gentleman?

What should be the basis of anyone’s identity? 

  • What we do to make money? 
  • What we do to enjoy life? 
  • Who we know? 
  • What has happened in our life? 
  • What we hope to happen in our life?

I believe true identity is rooted in seeing ourselves as God sees us. He sees us as good creations, as males and females made in his image. Despite our choosing to reject him, he sees us as forgivable. Despite our replacing him with other gods, he sees us as worth waiting for when we return after those gods fail us. Bottom line: God sees us. He cares if we have a job or not, if we have all our limbs or not, if we love candy or not. Regardless, he sees us. Truly sees us. That’s all we really need to know in order to answer any questions about our identity.

Thank you, fellow traveler, for reminding me that we all have a story. We all have an identity. When seen as recipients of our Creator’s gift of life, we never truly have to wonder who we are. We can know that we are loved and forgiven, seen and known, observed and accepted. That’s a great identity.

The Emotionally Healthy Leader: Suggested Reading

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Most likely, you haven’t read a leadership book like Peter Scazzero’s. That should tell you something.

Most likely, you haven’t considered how keeping Sabbath could make you a healthier leader. That should tell you something.

Most likely, you’ve never been told to “face your shadow.” That should tell you something.

Most likely, you’ve not fully considered how to lead out of your marriage or singleness. That should tell you something.

Most likely, you think this book isn’t for you. That should tell you something.

What if God Doesn’t Meet My Expectations?

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In his book The Prisoner in the Third Cell, Gene Edwards makes you face this question. That’s a good thing. Why? Because all of mankind has silently or openly asked it but not all have dared to stop and determine their answer.

Edwards makes you face this question by telling the story of John the Baptist. His was definitely a unique life. And at the end of it, he had questions that we can’t be certain he found satisfactory answers before his life was disregardly taken.

Other biblical characters faced the same challenge-Joseph, Job, Peter, Elijah, Ruth, Mary, Noah, Jonah, John, to name a few. Some of these were graciously granted a resurrected view of God before they died, but even that cannot be guaranteed to anyone who places their faith in God.

And therein is the core of the question. How deep is your faith? When your finite expectations are tested by an infinite God, what do you do? Will you continue to follow? If you want to be challenged to meditate further on these questions, this book is a good resource. If you can’t answer yes to the blog title question, this book should be in your next-to-read pile.

Indifference: Get Some

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My goal in preparing my heart for planning and decision making is to remain in a state Ignatius of Loyola referred to as indifference. By indifference, he does not mean apathy or disinterest. He simply means we must become indifferent to anything but the will of God. Ignatius taught that the degree to which we are open to any outcome or answer from God is the degree to which we are ready to really hear what God has to say. If we are clutching or overly attached to one outcome versus another, we won’t hear God clearly. Our spiritual ears will be deafened by the racket of our disordered loves, fears, and attachments. In such a state, it is almost a forgone conclusion that we will confuse our will with God’s will. Ignatius considered this state of indifference to be spiritual freedom. If we are truly free, he argued, we wouldn’t worry about whether we are healthy or sick, rich or poor. It shouldn’t even matter whether we have a long life or a short one…Arriving at this place of interior indifference and trusting that God’s will is good — no matter the outcome — is no small task. We are attached to all kinds of secondary things — titles, positions, honors, places, persons, security, and the opinions of others. When these attachments are excessive, they become disordered attachments, or disordered loves, that push God out of the center of our life and become core to our identity. (The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Peter Scazzero, p195-196)

With this definition of indifference, here are some practical questions to test your indifference:

  1. If you’re unmarried, are you indifferent towards God’s marital plans for you?
  2. If you’re a parent, are you indifferent to God’s future for your children?
  3. If you’re a leader, are you indifferent to God’s vision for your business/ministry/home?
  4. If you’re close to retiring, are you indifferent to God’s next for you?
  5. If you’re in high school or college, are you indifferent to God’s career path for you?
  6. If you’re employed, are you indifferent to waiting on God for a promotion, recognition, or pay increase?
  7. If you’re unemployed, are you indifferent to God’s timing?
  8. If you’re unhappy, are you indifferent to what God offers as the way to joy?

If you don’t have indifference, what would it take to get some?

Fear and Conviction

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One more insight to share from Wilson’s book, The Next Level. Here’s a quote from chapter 27, The Excuses Test:

Our response to change is a reflection of the condition of our hearts. We live in fear when we insist on every question being answered and success guaranteed before we are willing to take the slightest step. We show our conviction of God’s wisdom, goodness, and strength when we trust and move forward without knowing all the answers.

If you find yourself paralyzed by fear, one way out is to stop demanding. Demand less from yourself, from God and from others. Pray for enough trust to take just one step out of your fear without demanding any degree of guarantee.

If you find yourself lacking conviction, check the object of your faith. Conviction’s strength comes from the object of faith. If the object is personal peace from having all the answers, life is going to be very stressful. If the object is the character of God, life is going to be more joyful. Discuss with God the object of your faith. You’ll find He’s a good listener, particularly to those who choose him as the object of their faith.

4 Ways to Let Them Walk Away

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Speaking truth with grace and love can be hard business. Like it or not, it is a business we should all practice and work to improve our giving and receiving of it.

In chapter 26 of his book The Next Level, Scott Wilson talks about this business between Jesus and the Rich Young Ruler in Mark 10. 

“And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'” And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭10:17-23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Here’s what Wilson wrote about Jesus’ interactions in this situation:

Jesus didn’t shake his fist at the man, and he didn’t warn him of impending doom if he didn’t repent. He simply spoke the truth with grace and love, and he let the man respond however he chose. Mark tells us the man was “very sad” to hear Jesus’ invitation, and he walked away. To him, money was more important than God’s favor. The man, though, wasn’t the only one who was sad that day. I’m sure Jesus felt sorrow as he watched him walk away.

If you’ve engaged in this business, you can relate to how Jesus possibly felt. When someone hears the truth but rejects it and walks away, the truth teller faces many possible reactions, emotions, and temptations. As Jesus modeled, the truth listener needs to be given the chance to walk away. For many truth tellers, this may be the roughest part of the business. Here are four ways for the truth teller to let the truth listener walk away:

  1. Be sad for them but refuse to follow them
  2. Love them but refuse to enable them
  3. Forgive them if necessary but refuse to receive repeated behaviors 
  4. Receive them if they return but refuse to ignore any relapsing behaviors

You may think of other boundaries to help. That’s good. This business is necessary. 

Yes, the listener may choose to walk away. That’s okay. Stay in business.

The Next Level (Book Review)

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Thankfully, I took my time reading through this book. Bought it four years ago on recommendation, but it’s been waiting its turn. As often happens, the timing was perfect. So thanks for the recommendation, Nancy.

This book is palatable for readers of all levels, by the way. The 31 chapters, that Wilson labels days, are no longer than 8 pages. So one could move leisurely through the book if desired. Each chapter is very devotional in nature, ending with a few questions for personal meditation or for group discussion. If you are a small group leader, you should definitely consider using this book for your group.

God has good and specific purposes for the tests he gives us. 

Each day focuses on a character in the Bible and a test they passed or failed that provided a next-level opportunity in their life’s journey. What Wilson does very well is make these tests applicable to the reader’s life as well. Examples of these tests include obedience, identity, perseverance, readiness, honesty, humility, loneliness, direction and courage. Who of us have or won’t face these tests? Here are some observations from these tests:

In many ways, knowing who we are and whose we are is at the heart of every other test in our lives. 

God never wastes our pain. He uses it to draw us deeper into a relationship with him and to touch people’s lives. 

Insisting God answer our questions creates a roadblock for our faith. 

There’s a difference between saying “yes” to God and saying “yes” to people. 

We get the most joy in life when we become holders of the spotlight instead of insisting on being in the spotlight. 

Whether you read it now or it waits its turn, this book should be in your library.

The Four Laws of Forgiveness (Book review)

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This is my second read of this book by Brad Johnson. And, by the way, nice to read it on my kindle to see my previous highlights and compare what stood out to me this time.

First, this is a quick read. Good for anyone looking for a “to the point” reference on this subject. Also good for a “reminder” read. We all need to have a habit of forgiveness. This book can not only give the first step toward that habit but also can provide checkpoints for the ongoing routine.

Chapter 4 stood out to me in this read. Johnson’s fourth law deals with risks and reward. These are his three principles for this law:

  1. Risk can be godly
  2. Vulnerability can be godly
  3. The rewards of forgiveness are great

Did God show his love and give his life before or after you and I chose to love him? He did it before, which was a risk. He had no assurance we would ever love him back.

I needed this reminder. Like Jesus (NT) and Joseph (OT), godliness includes risk and vulnerability. As believers, we have access to the same power that produced the rewards of their risk and vulnerability. We can forgive.