Catching up today on one of my favorite podcasts, Being Known.
It’s season 9. They are reviewing chapters from Curt’s latest book, The Deepest Place to deepen our understanding of suffering and the formation of hope.
I hadn’t finished episode 7 on Perseverance, so that’s where I picked up. It was interesting timing.
I’ll post the video for the entire episode for you to view, but here are the lines that spoke most to me:
When we are willing to persevere, we discover over time that we are becoming something different than who we were…It’s often the case that we are not the first to recognize that…Someone else who’s watched us would say we are not the same person.
I love being able to point this out to my friends. They’ll say something that either shows their growth or reveals they have yet to see it. I try to interject my observation to reinforce the work they’ve done, the change they’ve accomplished, and the encouragement to keep going.
Need a shot of reinforcement? Check out the episode.
In my years of leadership, one vital item that continues to gurgle to the top determining the health of a team member and ultimately the entire team is role clarification. Just this week, I was reminded again how often simple clarifications are missed and how they impact decisions and conversations.
I was having a second conversation which some would call “hard” with a leader after a first with their colleague. Come to find out, that first one wasn’t necessary, but only because the second one clarified both of these leader’s roles. Totally changed that conversation and explained some odd, head scratching moments over the past two years. I felt bad, but not for long when this leader said, “Yeah, that happens a lot.”
They may be right more than they know. Hopefully in their context they can work to lower that frequency. Speaking of context, there seems to be a common thread of how role clarification gets missed. That thread can be summed up in one word: CHANGE.
If it’s true that change is constant, then it must be true that clarification also needs to be constant. For example…
If a team member receives a new title or responsibility, repeated clarification for everyone is necessary. A one-time announcement by email, social media post, or meeting announcement doesn’t suffice. And just stating the title doesn’t cover it. Consider delivering a brief job description, purpose for the title, and who is impacted by this role; it probably wouldn’t hurt to update the organization chart. What may seem like a small change is still change.
When a new team member is added (no matter the level), repeated clarification for everyone is necessary, particularly if the position is a new position. One could ask, “So whose responsibility is that?” My opinion, it’s the primary responsibility of the new team member’s immediate supervisor; in the case of their reporting to a board, then the board should own this task. Please avoid making it the new team member’s responsibility to explain why their job was created, what their job is, and what the new organization chart looks like. If that’s how your leadership rolls, you may be looking to refill this position sooner and more often than you’d like. It may seem obvious, but adding new team members is change.
When your organization is growing or goes through any major leadership shift, repeated clarification may seem like overkill. But consider this question: How many ripples does growth or a shift create? When you finish the list of all the ripples, that number multiplied by no less than two is how many clarifications are needed to avoid confusion and misunderstanding and their potential fallout. One truth to grab on to-growth is change.
Change equals a clarification need. If that stresses you out as a leader, then this task is most likely not in your wheelhouse. Odds are you know the team member that lives in that wheelhouse. Talk to them soon. It’s critical.
Last September I saw an eye doctor. My bifocals didn’t seem to be cutting it in all circumstances. He confirmed. Nothing major, but a slight change to my lens prescription.
Made me think about the next-to-last time I saw an eye doctor. I didn’t realize how much I needed bifocals until I tried on my brother-in-laws’ in order to read the inscription on his daughter’s high school class ring. It was crazy how much clearer I could see small details. I had no idea what I was missing.
The truth to having no idea what I’ve been missing seems to magnify daily. Three times this week I had conversations about a project I’m involved with where I find myself shaking my head. “How did I end up here?”
Most of the time that question carries a regretful or sorrowful tone. That’s not the case at all in this instance. No, it’s more like, “If you’d told me five years ago I’d be involved in this project, I’d thought you were out of your mind.” I told someone this week that 15 years ago the answer would have been, “Absolutely not!”
What’s changed? I see things differently. For reasons that don’t need to be explained, my vision has changed. Call it growth, personal development, or broader understanding, I’m able to contribute in ways I wasn’t capable five or fifteen years ago. And very much like my physical eyes, I had no idea what I was missing.
How about you? What are you doing today that you weren’t capable of doing five years ago? What experiences or influences have broadened your vision to sit with those you couldn’t sit with fifteen years ago? Who might you need to thank for figuratively giving you a new pair of glasses?
AMC is currently showing Moneyball in its rotation. My world usually stops when it’s on. It brings me joy.
Watching it last night, this scene particularly stood out. Some would say it’s the best scene in the movie. Hard to say. But there is a great line in this scene I’d like to chew on.
“The first guy through the wall, he always gets bloody. Always.”
For those unfamiliar with the movie’s story, this scene is toward the end of the movie. The character Brad Pitt plays is the General Manager for the major league baseball team the Oakland A’s. He’s just led them through a historic season that began a shift in the sport. For that matter, in many sports.
How did he do that? He integrated math and science into the operations of running a baseball team. He was the first to do it. And he paid dearly for it. He got bloody.
In an earlier scene, he is challenged by the guy he brought in to lead this change. When he started traded players that didn’t make sense to the average baseball executive, he was warned that it wouldn’t be popular. This clip is the end of that exchange.
Leaders, one could say if you don’t have some blood on you something’s wrong. “What are we doing here?” If you’re looking at the wall wondering if it’s worth it, check your questions. They may not be the right ones.
Being the first leader through the wall takes courage. Take a few steps back and start running.
The day before I flew to New Mexico I got a massage. Mike keeps me ready to run.
In our conversation I told him I had prepared for this race series better than I had since 2012. That’s how well I knew I had trained. I set goals and met them all. Nothing left to do but run.
Lesson #4: Prepare the best possible. But accept you can’t control everything.
For example, Race #1, starting temperature, 37F. Race #2, starting temperature, 25F. Race #3, starting temperature, 12F. But hey, no precipitation.
Next: At the start of Saturday’s race they announced a change in the course. Not that I really knew the difference, but still. Running down the side of a steep canyon to start the race was not what I had in mind. But hey, the easier course meant I finished 20 minutes faster than Friday.
Then came Sunday. More on that later. Suffice it to say, it was a day I’ll not soon forget. Pretty sure I’ve never been that cold. But hey, the rental car heater was amazing.
This is life. Prepare the best you can for the test and your nerves rattle your memory. Prepare the best you can for your wedding day and people turn out to be unreliable. Prepare the best you can for retirement and a diagnosis changes everything.
Part of the best preparation is accepting there is no way you can control all things. You can control your preparation. You can also control your response to what you can’t control.
SUGGESTION: Purposefully place yourself in new or uncomfortable situations. Try a new route to work. Try a new recipe with your dinner guests. Go for a run in the rain. Let the kids decide where to go for dinner.
With some practice, 2024 could be the year you accept it’s impossible to control it all.
Have you ever finished something that you started with dread or uncertainty or self-doubt and thought, “Well, that wasn’t so bad”?
Maybe you jumped out of a plane only because your friend coerced you.
Or you survived the dreaded public speaking gig you just knew would end your life.
Or you breathed in relief after that forever-avoided conversation with that family member.
I was surprised at the frequency of the question “would you do it again?” once someone heard of my completing the I-35 Challenge. The answer is, probably not. But that answer has nothing to do with the experience. It has more to do with how completing a once “questionable something” turned “not so bad something” impacts your mindset.
I-35 Lesson #4: Achievement reveals there’s probably something more
Making the photographer’s job easy (early on Saturday, before I’d hit double digit miles). Photo by @sportsphotoscom.
I’ve experienced it, and I’ve observed it. The lack of confidence at the start line of a race is always alive and well. And for the first-time runner or the first-time attempt at a distance, it’s as much about your mind as it is your legs, your shoes, or your sunglasses.
But somewhere along the journey to completion, the thought crosses your mind, “I’m actually going to get this done. I can’t believe this.” And for many of us, maybe even most, another thought crosses your mind at some point when it’s all over, “I wonder if I can do more.”
Yes.
Yes, you can get that degree.
Yes, you can get that promotion.
Yes, you can climb that mountain.
Yes, you can get completely out of debt.
Yes, you can be a great step-mother.
Yes, you can switch careers in your 40’s.
Yes, you can _____________________.
Yes, there’s more.
Would I do it again? Probably not. There’s something more.
Twice in the last 24 hours I’ve heard the same accolade given to a man: “He changed my life.”
One was in an episode of “The Good Doctor.” A character, grieving the loss of a coworker, said he had changed her life. Her grieving caused her to see it.
The other was in a devotional. A high school senior gave this praise to a teacher. Many teachers get this opportunity-to change a life.
As you read this, I’m guessing someone in your past comes to mind. A teacher? A coach? An employer? A family member? A pastor? A friend? A coworker?
This person, although living their life with purpose, most likely didn’t look at you and determine, “They need changing. I’m going to change them.” Not that literal. What they most likely did was simply see you. Listen to you. Answer you. Value you. Honor your place in the world. Give you a place in their world. And it was enough to foster change.
May we all see, listen, answer, value, honor, and give enough to foster change. May we all have said of us, “They changed my life.”
One more insight to share from Wilson’s book, The Next Level. Here’s a quote from chapter 27, The Excuses Test:
Our response to change is a reflection of the condition of our hearts. We live in fear when we insist on every question being answered and success guaranteed before we are willing to take the slightest step. We show our conviction of God’s wisdom, goodness, and strength when we trust and move forward without knowing all the answers.
If you find yourself paralyzed by fear, one way out is to stop demanding. Demand less from yourself, from God and from others. Pray for enough trust to take just one step out of your fear without demanding any degree of guarantee.
If you find yourself lacking conviction, check the object of your faith. Conviction’s strength comes from the object of faith. If the object is personal peace from having all the answers, life is going to be very stressful. If the object is the character of God, life is going to be more joyful. Discuss with God the object of your faith. You’ll find He’s a good listener, particularly to those who choose him as the object of their faith.
John Gregory 