On recommendation, I recently read An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor. It’s subtitled A Geography of Faith. In the spirit of that lane, rather than offer a review I’ve selected my top highlights and will offer a meditation post for each one. Here’s quote #1:
Faith sometimes looks like a blunt refusal to stop speaking into the divine silence.
Chapter 10, The Practice of Feeling Pain
In the face of betrayal, keep speaking.
In the face of confusion, keep speaking.
In the face of loss, keep speaking.
When fear says, “No one cares,” refuse to listen.
When doubt says, “No one’s listening,” refuse to isolate.
When impatience says, “No one’s responding,” refuse to self-muzzle.
There is a time to be blunt.
There is a time to be persistent.
There is a time to be verbose.
If God is silent, might it be because he wants to keep hearing from you?
If God is silent, might it be because he’s respecting your need to process?
If God is silent, might it be because he’s taking a moment to appreciate your faith?
Last month I came across the work of Dr. Lisa Miller, unaware of her connection to the national institute that accredits the counseling center where I work. Quickly I was up to speed and got a copy of her book The Awakened Brain.
I started reading it during the downtime of Hurricane Idalia, finishing it today. Here is one statistic from the introduction that gives reason for Miller’s work:
A study of more than 67,000 college students across 108 institutions in the United States published in 2019 found that 20% reported that they had engaged in self-harm such as cutting, 24% reported suicidal ideation, and 9% had attempted suicide.
Introduction: Anything Can Be Shown
She defines the awakened brain in the introduction to give you some sense of the foundation she is going to build for this way of approaching life.
The awakened brain is the neural circuitry that allows us to see the world more fully and thus enhance our individual, societal, and global well-being…The awakened brain includes a set of innate perceptual capacities that exist in every person through which we experience love and connection, unity, and a sense of guidance from and dialogue with life.
Introduction: Anything Can Be Shown
In chapter four she makes an interesting observation about heredity and environment. Through research, she’s determined that spirituality isn’t solely determined by environment. A person isn’t limited only by the spiritual environment of their early years; in fact, we are born with spiritual awareness. That is good news for everyone.
A person’s degree of spirituality is determined 29% by heredity and 71% by environment…People at greater risk for mental illness due to their developmental stage actually have the most to gain from spirituality.
Chapter 4, Two Sides of the Same Coin
Woven throughout the book are compelling stories of spiritual journeys, including her own. These stories, including clients as well as business and national leaders, illustrate the transformation of lives who live responding to what life is showing them, particularly when they lean in to spirituality.
What I was witnessing was less that we heal when we impose a more positive meaning on the world, and more that we shift toward health when somehow, and usually through struggle, a bigger meaning is revealed to us…feeling better isn’t just a matter of creating new thoughts, of replacing unhappy ones with happier ones; it’s also about noticing and aligning ourselves with whatever life is showing us.
Chapter 7, When Inner and Outer Align
Admittedly, Dr. Miller’s work has not been easy in the scientific community. In many ways she is countercultural, somewhat blazing a trail to question if the way of American living has been wrong for many years.
We make our best decisions when we integrate our heads, hearts, and life’s guidance, learning to tune into our choices and hurdles as part of our spiritual path…We discover that we are seekers rather than makers of our path.
Chapter 9, The Castle and The Wave
Having lived many years in achieving mode and wondering how to step back from it, chapter 12 gave language to my struggle that is lifegiving. It may not ring true to everyone, but the clearness Dr. Miller makes between the two modes of awareness is my main takeaway from the book. I believe it’s the usage of the two words achieving and awakened.
We all have two modes of awareness available to us at all times: achieving awareness and awakened awareness…Achieving awareness is the perception that our purpose is to organize and control our lives…When we engage our awakened awareness, we make use of different parts of our brain, and we literally see more, integrating information from multiple sources of perception. Instead of seeing ourselves as independent makers of our path, we perceive ourselves as seekers of our path.
Chapter 12, The Two Modes of Awareness
Dr. Miller, of Jewish faith, does not use the language of the New Testament. I suggest she paints a clear picture of the difference between Paul’s teaching regarding walking in the flesh and walking in the spirit. Flesh walkers live for themselves; spirit walkers have their eyes open to the world, ready to put themselves aside for others.
Through awakened attention, we open up more channels of perception. We learn not only to notice but also to draw meaning from what shows up in our lives. We see more, and we’re better able to use what we see.
Chapter 14, Awakened Attention
If you are a believer who questions the place of science in your faith, I encourage you to read this book. If you are an academic who questions the place of spirituality in your life, I encourage you to read this book. Allow Dr. Miller to challenge your brain and your faith. What’s the worst that can happen?
Currently I’m going through a YouVersion reading plan for James 1. The first four days of ten have pretty much focused on this verse:
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
James 1:3 NLT
Reading this the other day, it struck me to get specific. For instance, when faith in one area of life is tested it has a chance to grow. To flesh that out, here are ten additions where growth can be experienced by faith testing.
When your faith in your spouse is tested, your endurance as a vow-keeping partner has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your boss is tested, your endurance as a loyal employee has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your children is tested, your endurance as a loving parent has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your parents is tested, your endurance as an honoring child has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your government is tested, your endurance as a contributing citizen has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your company is tested, your endurance as a committed team player has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your church is tested, your endurance as a kingdom-minded citizen has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your investments is tested, your endurance as a focused treasurer has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your friend is tested, your endurance as a reliable presence has a chance to grow.
When your faith in your God is tested, your endurance as an image bearer has a chance to grow.
Last March I posted a blog referencing Makoto Fujimura. He’s become a staple for me to follow-podcast episodes, videos, books, etc. A few months ago I started reading his book Silence and Beauty, where he goes in depth to analyze the book I mentioned in the previous blog post and its place in Japanese art and history. I finished reading it on a plane ride Saturday.
I’m glad I took my time reading this book. The slower read allowed for his words and thoughts to breathe and to sink. What I enjoyed most about this form of Fujimura’s art was how he chose to build toward the ending. His final chapter, Mission Beyond the Waves, overflowed with images and challenges that perfectly summarized his message of silence and beauty.
The image that most caught my attention was his imagery and symbolism of falling cherry blossoms. “In Japan of old, cherry blossoms are considered most beautiful when they are falling.” He penned that following this quote by former archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams:
Our voyages are all about loss and death. At the moment of our death, which could be any moment, how is my mortality to be made fruitful in the life of another? How may my loss and my suffering become a Word to others? The ultimate question that any of us, or any art, can ask is this: “How may I die generously?”
Meditation on Death
If indeed cherry blossoms are most beautiful when they fall, they are most beautiful when they are broken and completely sacrificed. Fujimura’s challenge is for us all to be generous. Generosity in our faith and in our acts “can be a sacramental act to bridge the divide and brokenness created in society.”
What generous act are you prompted to complete? How can your faith assist you? What beauty is coming when you offer your creations?
You know that moment when you read something for the umpteenth time and it feels like the first? That happened to me reading the first three verses of Mark 16. Here they are:
When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”
Even though I’d read this multiple times, something jumped out at me clear as day. That something was the order of events.
It wasn’t the first thing on these three ladies’ minds to ask themselves about the stone in the way. No, they bought the spices, set their alarms (although I have a sense they didn’t really need to), and were already headed to the tomb to tend to Jesus’ body before they really pondered exactly how they were going to get in.
I found that very telling. Many times we let the impossible keep us from preparing for it. These ladies didn’t worry about that. Why?
I believe it was because they were so focused on serving Jesus. Literally. The stone in the way didn’t deter them from buying the spices. They could have said, “Uh, what’s the point of spending money on something that I might not be able to use. I’ll just pray about it and hope that stone gets out of the way somehow.”
Instead they bought them, got up early, and headed for the tomb. It seems they had so much faith they were going to get to tend to Jesus that their attitude was, “Somehow, we don’t know how, but somehow that stone will not keep us from getting to him.”
I have a sneaky feeling their question wasn’t one of doubt but one of wonderment. Just how was God going to help them.
It seems that God often does his best work when we let him deal with the impossible while we deal with the possible. They did everything they could to be ready to serve. What did God do? He made sure the obstacle in their way was removed.
The Lesson: Act despite the stone. Avoid letting the impossible paralyze you from living an active life of faith. These ladies would have seriously kicked themselves had they let the question come first.
What they would have missed. I’m thankful for their example of not letting the question of the impossible stifle their actions of faith.
It was a significant insignificant comment. And it stuck. Most likely you had no idea. But that’s usually how those go.
In describing your morning routine, you halted then flew by the fact you get up at 4:30 in order to get everyone ready for the day and get to work. As a guy who moans about mornings period, that didn’t go unnoticed. As an adult with no children, that urged my respect. As a bachelor, that forced a pause.
In my opinion, no one in their right mind chooses to get up at 4:30. But you don’t really have a choice. And I’m guessing that’s because if you don’t you might lose your mind. And you nor your children can afford that; at least, that’s what you’re modeling.
I’m guessing if I could ask 16-year-old you what you’d be doing at your age, she wouldn’t say getting up at 4:30 to do “all the things”:
Have three minutes to yourself
Shower/dress/etc.
Check the dryer
Check the dishwasher
Wake the rest of the house
Prepare breakfast/lunch/dinner
Sign school stuff
Doublecheck everyone’s everything as you walk to the car
And that’s just the physical stuff. Lack of life experience leaves her unable to comprehend the emotional journey she’s going to take between then and now. No matter why you’re single (never married, divorced, separated, widowed), she has no idea the weight on your shoulders, much less your heart. All the emotions I won’t bother to list-generated by your own thoughts and likely magnified by those who should know better-she had no idea they were coming.
Before I share the five things I most want you know, I want you to know that we (dad, mom, siblings, children, neighbors, coworkers, friends) see you. We see your tenacity. We see your fortitude. We see your faithfulness. We see your love. Even though you didn’t choose this place, you are choosing to stay in it. No leaving. No abandoning. No quitting. No resigning.
And all the things we see, God sees. I believe he wants you to know he is pleased with you today and every day.
I close with these final thoughts:
I’m sorry for all the judgment you’ve gotten/get/will get. It’s ugly. And it’s not a gift from God.
I’m sorry your 16-year-old-self’s dreams aren’t reality. Yes, that’s life. But it’s not the vision you had. Yet, God is with you even in the broken dreams.
I’m happy your children have you. You are the mom God intended them to have. He knows that. They know that. We all know that.
I’m grateful for your faith model. Not everyone chooses to keep their faith when their dreams are shattered. Be of good courage. Fear not.
Tomorrow is the next day of the rest of your life. Sure, reconcile with the past. But God has something ahead that only He can give you. Keep getting up. The rest of your life is waiting.
I don’t know that it matters how long someone has been a professing Christian to wonder why you still have thoughts like this one: “Is my faith good enough?” Or maybe, “Am I doing this right?”
I just read a line from a devotional that might help us all, whether you’re fresh in or a long hauler.
Was Abraham’s faith a faith without deeds? No way, says James. Abraham trusted God so much he was willing to sacrifice his son (Genesis 22). His faith was not only a conviction about the existence of God; it was a conviction that was ‘made complete,’ that is, shown to be true faith, by his deeds of devotion. And so was fulfilled the statement of Genesis 15:6, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” To believe in God in the biblical sense, argues James, involves a commitment to action.
James 2, Worldly Favouritism (YouVersion)
99.9% of us will never be asked to carry out Abraham’s test. But if we’re attempting to communicate daily with the Holy Spirit, we are asked to do ordinary faith deeds every day. When we do, our faith is being made complete.
For example…
When we hold our tongue from gossiping
When we don’t return hate
When we respect our elders
When we love the unlovely
When we are generous with our time
When we say yes in spite of our fear or rebellion
When we have compassion for a stranger in pain
When we weep with those who weep
This list could go on and on. The meaningful and encouraging word from this devotion was that my faith may not be perfect, but that’s not the point. The point is that it’s active.
At the end of each day, may we look back to see where our faith was active and hear a whispered, “In you I am well pleased. Your faith is complete.”
I completed a journey today I didn’t want to take for two reasons: a little bit of pride and a little bit of anger mixed with fear. I caved, mostly from the encouragement of two friends. I’m glad I did.
At my pace, the journey took almost two months. Necessary stops and starts to digest, to breathe, to clear, to process. The journey took me to expected and unexpected places; some I knew I needed, some I surprisingly didn’t know I needed. I’m glad I endured.
Hosted by Mike Cosper, this Christianity Today podcast takes you inside the story of Mars Hill Church in Seattle-from its founding as part of one of the largest church planting movements in American history to its very public dissolution-and the aftermath that followed. You’ll hear from people who lived this story, experiencing the triumphs and losses of Mars Hill, knowing it as both an amazing, life-transforming work of God and as a dangerous, abusive environment. The issues that plague Mars Hill and its founder…aren’t unique, and only by looking closely at what happened in Seattle will we be able to see ourselves.
There would be no point in retelling the story. There’s plenty of that available. Rather, I wish to encourage those like me resistant to giving the podcast a chance to consider these thoughts:
We can learn from failure. Along with learning, we can also grow. In order for both to happen, we have to set our minds for them. We can listen to this story, pass judgment, shake our heads, drop our jaws, defend, sweep, have any of all the possible reactions. But if all we do is emotionally react, CT’s work has been in vain. If the message is received like a Netflix binge, we have missed the opportunity to learn and grow. If you are a person who doesn’t want to miss the opportunity, it’s time to cave.
There is such a thing as church trauma. If you’ve spent any time in the church, you know it. But what you probably don’t realize is trauma’s impact, subtleties, layers, history, and power. Under so many holy labels, trauma is happening right now. And the danger is we don’t even realize it. Wolves are feasting. If you are a church leader, paid or volunteer, who feels powerless to speak about what’s troubling your spirit, it’s time to endure.
Stories are sacred and deserve dignity. Our desire to avoid pain inhibits healing. Our wish to consider it “not my problem” disregards the wounded’s sacredness. Facing our fears, weeping with the discarded, listening to the angry, offering safety, and naming evil must be available in the church. If your church makes these things unavailable, it’s time to listen and restore.
Several moments in the hours of these twelve episodes I felt these words by Mike Cosper:
Part of what drew me to this project was my own history. The fact that even from a distance, I heard echoes of my experience and the stories coming out of Mars Hill. The more time I spent with that story and especially the more time I spent with these people, the louder those echoes got. Now, having seen the story go back out into the world, I’ve genuinely wept at how many others are hearing their experience reflected here too.
Aftermath, December 4 episode
I’m better for having caved and endured. I’ve benefited from meditating, weeping, discussing, and repenting. If someone has encouraged you to listen and you’re resisting, odds are you will also benefit. It’s time.
Jack Dietrich passed away a couple of weeks ago. He was 92. His memorial service was held yesterday.
I didn’t know Jack (A friend asked me on behalf of the family to sing his favorite hymn, “How Great Thou Art.”) But the service was one of those that when you left you felt like you knew the person regardless of previous history.
Everyone who spoke weaved the story of Jack’s life which included his influence on their teaching careers, his love of family and really everyone, his witty humor, and his outspoken faith. Apparently, if you walked by his porch on the way to the beach, most likely you got an introduction to sit with Jack.
That was the neighbor’s story who gave the eulogy. His initial introductory conversation with Jack lasted three hours and started an unexpected, life-changing relationship. As he described it, the life change was for both of them.
Although Jack had lived a full and successful life, he asked his neighbor the same question I’m guessing all 92-year-olds do. “Why am I still here?” His neighbor unashamedly told him, “You’re here for me. God knew I needed you. That’s why you’re here.”
Truth is, we don’t have to live 92 years to ask Jack’s question. For a multitude of reasons at any given time, our minds and emotions look at our situation and wonder why we’re in it. We question what’s the point. And as is often the case, the point isn’t about us; it’s about someone else. Someone that needs to be noticed. Someone that needs to be heard. Someone that needs to be touched. Someone that needs something that we have-time on the porch.
We sell ourselves short. Okay, maybe you don’t, but I know I do. There’s plenty God has given me that doesn’t cost me much, if anything, to give away. Occasionally, I’m reminded that’s it’s not as hard to know the why as I make it. Occasionally, all it takes is saying yes to singing a song, to give someone something I can easily give, and the why is clear.
John Gregory 