Sabbatical: Week 1 Roadtrip

Last week was a step back in time. My mom and sister Debra joined me on a roadtrip to Illinois. Final stop, Beecher City, population 500. This was a delayed 80th birthday trip for my mom to visit her twin sister and brother-in-law. 

Last time I was in Beecher City was probably before I started kindergarten. What would I know, but it appears not much has changed. For instance, to our surprise at the gas station, we received full service. I can’t remember ever receiving that. Anywhere.

We enjoyed the disconnect from the rest of the world for a few days. My mom and aunt enjoyed seeing the home they grew up in (cover photo above) and their high school and even catching up with classmates from their elementary one-room school classmates. A taste of yesterday. In this place. A meaningful week to start a sabbatical month.

Sabbaticals: Not So Unnormal

I’ve had interesting dialogue with people about going on sabbatical this month. For the large part, it seems people have an idea what a sabbatical is for, but it appears foreign because they’ve never been on one themselves. 

This is my first legit one. I say that because two seasons in the past I pretty much gave myself a sabbatical by choosing to leave jobs without transitioning immediately into another one. No regrets. Both ended up being about six months long. (I should have lobbied for more than a month this time. JK)

If you just Google various angles inquiring about sabbaticals, you find this is more normal than not. And it should be. How it’s defined is going to vary, yet the value will remain. To read one recipient’s review, follow this link.

So as I post throughout this month, I encourage you to ponder what a sabbatical might look like and mean for you, your family, your company. Become more normal.

Closing the Gap

Nehemiah is a rich book. One great example of the story is how Nehemiah and his community managed themselves and others as they completed a massive project. As with any project, there is a starting point and a vision of what the finished work looks like. This gap between the start and the finish is where life happens.

Some of us have a tendency to expect the completion of our vision sooner than is logical. Sometimes this tendency leads us to go beyond ignoring logic and simply not having the patience to wait through the logical. It’s as if we are always asking God for miracles.

Does God still perform miracles? Sure. But many of the situations we want to experience change, where we envision the completion of a “project,” aren’t “lion’s den” moments. For example, changing the culture of an organization doesn’t happen in 24 hours, overcoming a cocaine addiction most likely takes months or years, and reshaping a dysfunctional family can be the work of an entire generation.

That’s reality. Some questions we should ask ourselves are, “Am I committed to closing the gap? Am I willing to see this through rather than expecting God to do what He intends me to do?” We know where we are and can probably envision where we want to be, but are we committed to the work and time to close the gap.

That’s doable. It actually may be even more life transforming than an instantaneous miracle.

So here are some questions to challenge ourselves when beginning a project, committing to closing a gap of any nature:

  • Where am I and where do I want to be?
  • What’s the real challenge I want to overcome?
  • What does God desire for this situation?
  • What steps are needed to start overcoming?
  • How long am I willing to work on closing the gap?
  • Who should I recruit to walk with me through this gap-closing season?
  • How will I celebrate when the gap is closed?

That’s Just What I Needed

Yesterday, we had a memorial service for a longstanding, faithful member of First Baptist. The service, which included selections of their favorite worship songs, was planned by him and his wife. After the service, his wife said, in thanking me for my part in the service, “That’s just what I needed. I hope those songs were okay, but they meant something to us.”

To be frank, who cares if people attending a memorial service have any offense to service choices. They mean something to you; that’s why you plan them ahead of time so they reveal what’s important, your values, your life.

I’ve blogged about this before, but it begs repeating. If you haven’t done this already, it’s time to think about helping your family out by planning your memorial service. That might mean not having one. It might mean a small gathering at a graveside. It might be a traditional church service. Whatever it might look like it in your head, that’s a problem. It’s only in your head. Speak it. Write it. Plan it.

My father died in 1980. I was 12. I can tell you off the top of my head two of the song selections, vocalists who sang, and who the two preachers were. Why? Because they were amazing? Because they are in a recording I’ve listened to? Nope. It’s because I knew that my dad planned it. Those songs, those singers, those speakers were his choosing. 

Do everyone a favor. Get this done. Help them be able to say after your service, “That’s just what I needed.”

Leaving the Circus Well

Maybe you’ve heard this saying, “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.” If not, you probably get the meaning. Basically, I know what and where my circus is, and that, right there, isn’t part of it.

The circus reference could apply to many areas of life: business, family, neighborhood, church, relationships. Some of these we choose to join, and some we don’t get that choice. But we all get the same choice about how long we stay in the circus.

What is interesting to watch is how people react after they’ve chosen to leave a certain circus of life. Some leave quite well; others seem to not really understand what they actually chose when they decided to leave the circus. Reality takes time to set in, and unfortunately, for some, it never does. These thoughts are for those who haven’t left well, who are struggling with their new circus.

When you choose to leave a circus…

  • …accept that the next circus is going to have monkeys also.
  • …you no longer get the popcorn and cotton candy from that circus.
  • …the acts of your new circus aren’t interested in how things ran in your last circus.
  • …over time, the acts of the old circus won’t call to see how you’re doing…and they don’t owe you that unless you actually mutually committed to it.
  • …you have to own your choice. Odds are, you made it, so own it.
  • …respect your old ringmaster’s commitment to the acts still with him. You’re not his monkey any more.
  • …embrace your new ringmaster and the other acts, monkeys and all.

Choose wisely. When it’s time to leave, leave. And leave well.

31 Proverbs Highlights: #14-A Woman and Her House

(A simple series highlighting verses from each chapter of the book of Proverbs) 

​Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1 HCSB

This house is built using truths from this book such as: 

  • Living in the fear of the Lord
  • Following the path of righteousness 
  • Choosing words that instill trust and respect 
  • Giving to the poor
  • Correcting and rebuking the children 

This house is destroyed ignoring and rejecting truths from this book by:

  • Living for personal gain 
  • Following the “whatever feels good” path
  • Stirring up strife and contention with words of gossip and contempt
  • Hoarding 
  • Allowing the children to do as they please

31 Proverbs Highlights: #10-Family Conflicts

(A simple series highlighting verses from each chapter of the book of Proverbs)

Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭12‬ CSB)

Our natural response to an offense is defense. And how we choose to respond shows whether we have chosen love or hate.

This probably shows up most often in family relationships. You’ve witnessed it, maybe even been caught up in it. The families who get offenses right, and we all go through them, practice love. 

To check how your family is doing in the “love covering offenses” category, give 1 Corinthians 13 a read. Then choose love.

31 Proverbs Highlights: #6-God Hates

(A simple series highlighting verses from each chapter of the book of Proverbs)

Here are six things God hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion:

  • eyes that are arrogant,
  • a tongue that lies,
  • hands that murder the innocent,
  • a heart that hatches evil plots,
  • feet that race down a wicked track,
  • a mouth that lies under oath,
  • a troublemaker in the family. Proverbs 6:16-19

Yes, God loves.  But, according to these verses, God hates also.

This paraphrase from The Message states very clearly what he hates.  And what God hates, we should hate also.

80 and Counting!

Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him! Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love…Psalm 33:8, 18

I read these verses this morning, the day we celebrated our mother’s 80th birthday.

She stands in awe of God. She fears him. She hopes in his steadfast love.

His eye is on her.

Happy birthday, Grandma Lola!

Refuge

But Boaz answered her, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!””‭‭ Ruth‬ ‭2:11-12‬ ‭ESV‬

By Ruth’s example we see where the best place of refuge is.

  • It’s not always with family.
  • It’s not always with comfort.
  • It’s not always with the expected.
  • It’s not always with what’s familiar.
  • It may involve sacrifice.
  • It may involve leaving it all behind.
  • It may involve ignoring the norm.

Under the wings of the God of Ruth we see where the best place of refuge is.